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The Importance and Challenges of Medical Treatment
- Medical treatment is crucial in our lives as it helps us recover from accidents and diseases. However, the decreasing number of doctors is becoming a problem. The high cost of medical education discourages aspiring medical students. To solve these issues, we need to create a supportive environment for medical education and increase the availability of medical facilities.
- Medical treatment plays a vital role in our survival and well-being. It enables us to overcome injuries and illnesses, allowing us to lead healthy lives. However, the current shortage of doctors presents a significant challenge. The rising costs of medical education hinder individuals from pursuing a career in medicine. To address this issue, we must focus on improving the affordability and accessibility of medical education.
- Access to medical treatment is essential for a healthy society. It enables individuals to receive the care they need to recover and thrive. Unfortunately, the declining number of doctors poses a threat to this access. Financial barriers often deter aspiring medical students from pursuing their dreams. To ensure adequate medical treatment for all, we must prioritize affordable education and create incentives for medical professionals.
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質問者が選んだベストアンサー
こんにちは。医師の数が減っているのは、子供が減っているから、とありますが、主に、医師になるまでの費用がかかっている、ということが言われているので、子供が減っているから、という点をなくした方がいいかもしれません。 １段落 Medical treatment is essential for our lives. When we get injured or sick, we take medical treatment and can regain our health. Without it, we wouldn't survive. ２段落 １，２行目 *Howeverは文中の方がいいでしょう。 *次の文章でもThese daysを使っているので、繰り返さないように他の言葉を使う。 *問題になっている、ということを書く。 *医者になるまでのコストが依然高い、という場合は、still high にする。 In recent years, however, we have an issue that the number of doctors has been decreasing. It is because the cost of becoming a doctor is high, and with the current economic crisis, the cost may not be affordable for more families. *medical facility は医療機関＝病院のことをさすので、ここではmedical schoolを使う。 ３．４行目 These days, to graduate medical school in Japan can cost as much as buying a house. High school students who want to be a medical student in a university may give up their dreams to be a doctor due to the high tuition. ３段落 *奨学金をもっと増やすべきだとか、そういう感じはどうかなと思います。 例）More scholarship for future students in medical school will be helpful.
