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自由英作文の添削をお願いします!

自由英作文の添削をお願いします! 「小学校での英語教育」に賛成か反対かについて意見を100語程度でのべよ。 内容は、 賛成 →現在では外国人と話せるようになることが大事 →日本では英語で会話できない人が多い →状況を変えるために、早い時期から学習 →その理由は、子供は思考が柔軟で大人よりすぐ習得できるから →小学校での英語教育が最初のステップ という感じです。 稚拙な文章ですが、直すべきとこを指摘していただけるとうれしいです! (1)I am totally in favor of the idea of English education at elementary school. (2)This is the age of global communication and it is essential to master the English language as a helpful communication tool. (3)In Japan,however,there are many people cannot talk with people from abroad in English. (4)In order to change this situation,we should start English education from childhood. (5)This is because children can learn to do anything because they have a flexibility, while adults have the difficulty in acquiring new abilities. (6)English education at a elementary school will be the first step to have a good command of English and to understand foreign countries more profoundly. (111語)

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ほとんど意図したことは伝わるのではないかと思いましたが、原文を時には生かしながら、ある時は勝手に脱線し変更してしまいました。 (1)I am totally in favor of the idea of English education at elementary school. I am totally in favor of the idea of English education started from early part of elementary school level. (2)This is the age of global communication and it is essential to master the English language as a helpful communication tool. We are in the age of global communication and it is essential to acquire a certain level of fluency in English language as a helpful communication tool. (3)In Japan,however,there are many people cannot talk with people from abroad in English. In Japan, however, there are many people who can not communicate using English with people form abroad. (4)In order to change this situation,we should start English education from childhood. In order to change this situation, we should start English education when we are young. (5)This is because children can learn to do anything because they have a flexibility, while adults have the difficulty in acquiring new abilities. The reason behind is that children can learn anything easily because they have flexibility (or are flexible) in their brain functions, while adults have difficulties in acquiring new abilities. (As people have said that old dogs can not learn new tricks, but young puppies can learn things very fast.)参考まで (6)English education at a elementary school will be the first step to have a good command of English and to understand foreign countries more profoundly. The first step should be taken at elementary school in regard of English education so that children can have good command of English and understand foreign cultures more profoundly.

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