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英文和訳がありますが、和訳は正しいですか?

Japanese are prompt, too, sometimes too prompt according to the standards of other cultures. When several groups of Japanese students were asked what time they would arrive for an official appointment, some said they would arrive 10, 15, even 20 minutes before the hour to make sure they were on time. They are probably also unconsciously trying to demonstrate their eagerness and sense of responsibility by arriving early. In the United States, arriving this early would be interpreted as a sign of insecurity as well as an infringement on thet time of the receiving side. 日本語訳 日本人も時間に几帳面です。時には、ほかの文化の基準に基づくとあまりに几帳面すぎます。複数の日本人学生のグループに、正式なアポイントメントのためにはいつ到着しますかと尋ねられた時、何人かは、時間通りに到着したことを確かにするために、決められた時間の10分か、15分、さらに20分前にすら到着すると答えました。彼らはまた、早めに到着することでおそらくは自分たちの熱意や責任感を無意識のうちに実演してみせようとしているのです。こんなに早く着くことという行為は、アメリカでは不安感があるという兆候だけでなく、約束した側の時間を邪魔する行為と解釈されます。

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以下のとおりお答えします。全体的にとてもよく訳されていると思いました。 >Japanese are prompt, too, sometimes too prompt according to the standards of other cultures. When several groups of Japanese students were asked what time they would arrive for an official appointment, some said they would arrive 10, 15, even 20 minutes before the hour to make sure they were on time. They are probably also unconsciously trying to demonstrate their eagerness and sense of responsibility by arriving early. In the United States, arriving this early would be interpreted as a sign of insecurity as well as an infringement on thet time of the receiving side. >日本人も時間に几帳面です。時には、ほかの文化の基準に基づくとあまりに几帳面すぎます。複数の日本人学生のグループに、正式なアポイントメントのためにはいつ到着しますかと尋ねられた時、何人かは、時間通りに到着したことを確かにするために、決められた時間の10分か、15分、さらに20分前にすら到着すると答えました。彼らはまた、早めに到着することでおそらくは自分たちの熱意や責任感を無意識のうちに実演してみせようとしているのです。こんなに早く着くことという行為は、アメリカでは不安感があるという兆候だけでなく、約束した側の時間を邪魔する行為と解釈されます。 ★Japanese are prompt, too:「日本人はまた時間に几帳面です」。tooは、Japaneseでなくpromptにかかると思います。 ★sometimes too prompt according to the standards of other cultures:「他文化の基準によれば、時に几帳面すぎるほど(です)」。同じtooでも上の場合とは使い方が違いますね。しかし、この語のもと(副詞的用法のto「~して〔さらに〕」の強調形)を考えれば、両方の使い方の関連性がつかめますね。 ★When several groups of Japanese students were asked~:お訳の「複数の日本人学生のグループに、正式なアポイントメントのためにはいつ到着しますかと尋ねられた時」は、格関係に齟齬(あるいは語句の不足)がありますね。→「日本人学生のグループが、~と尋ねられた時」、または「日本人学生のグループに、~しますかという問いが向けられた時」。 ★what time they would arrive for an official appointment:「正式な面会約束のためにいつ到着するか」。「アポイントメント」はほとんど日本語ですが、「面会約束」とも訳せるでしょう。 ★some said they would arrive 10, 15, even 20 minutes before the hour:「約束時間の10分、15分、さらには20分前に到着すると答えた者が数人いました」。some said「何人かは答えた」よりも「答えた者が数人いた」のほうがやや自然な感じですね。 ★to make sure they were on time:「確実に間に合うように」。直訳は、「時間通りに到着することを確かにするために」(wereが過去形なのは「時制の一致」です)とお訳のとおりですね。 ★They are probably also unconsciously trying to ~:「おそらく彼らは、これも無意識のうちに、~しようとしている」。alsoはunconsciouslyにかかると思います。「時間に几帳面なこともそうだが、これも無意識に…」という感じでしょう。なお、「実演してみせようとしている」は、補いすぎかも知れません。 ★arriving this early:「このように早く着くことは」。thisは(soに近いような意味の)副詞的用法で、もちろんearlyにかかっていますね。 ★as a sign of insecurity as well as an infringement on thet (→that) time of the receiving side(誤植1つカッコ内に直しておきます):「不安感の表れというだけでなく、相手方の時間を侵害する行為とも解釈される」。sign of insecurityは「不安感の表れ」でいいと思います。 ⇒日本人はまた時間に几帳面で、他文化の基準によれば、時に几帳面すぎるほどです。日本人学生のグループが、正式な面会約束のためにいつ到着するか尋ねられた時、確実に間に合うよう約束時間の10分、15分、さらには20分前に到着すると答えた者が数人いました。おそらく彼らは、これも無意識のうちに、早めに到着することで熱意や責任感を示そうとしているのでしょう。アメリカでは、このように早く着くのは、不安感の表れというだけでなく、相手方の時間を侵害する行為と解釈されることもあるでしょう。

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