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Understanding the key role played by status in men's relations made it all come clear.
Asking a boss about chances for promotion highlights the hierarchy in the relationship,reminding them both that the employee's future is in the boss's hands.
Taking the low-status position made this man intensely uncomfortable.
Although his wife didn't especially relish taking the role of supplicant with respect to her boss,it didn't set off alarms in her head,as it did in his.
In a similar flash of insight, a woman who works in sales exclaimed that now she understood the puzzling transformation that the leader of her sales team had undergone when he was promoted to district manager.
She had been sure he would make a perfect boss because he had a healthy disregard for authority.
As team leader,he had rarely bothered to go to meetings called by management and had encouraged team members to exercise their own judgment,eagerly using his power to waive regulations on their behalf.
But after he became district manager,this man was unrecognizable.He instituted more regulations than anyone had dreamed of,and insisted that exceptions could be made only on the basis of written requests to him.