Second, I would like to talk about I was read a book.
Books teach us important things.
I have learned important things by read a book.
A book teaches me it is important to catch luck.
Many people don’t catch luck.
But if you would catch luck, you could be success.
I think that we don’t catch luck and hard work, we couldn’t be success.
↑（私は、一生懸命働いても運を掴まなければ、成功することができない、と思う。）
So I disagree with, “when people succeed it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with succeed.”
もし、おかしい文などあれば教えてください。
よろしくお願いします。
添削
Second, I would like to talk about books I have read. Books teach us important things.
I have learned important things by reading books. Books teach me it is important to get a chance.
Many people don’t get chances. However, if you got a chance, you could be successful. I don't think that even if we work hard but do not get a chance, we couldn’t succeed. So I disagree with the idea that people succeed after they work hard, and chances have nothing to do with success.
最初にI would like to talk about books I have read. と言いつつ、そうした本についての具体的な言及がないのはいい文章の作り方ではありません。それならそれで、
I have been reading many books. ぐらいにしておくのがいいとは思います。
以上、ご参考になればと思います。
お礼
添削とアドバイスありがとうございます！ いつも参考にさせていただいています。 ありがとうございました！