添削依頼：小中学生に携帯を持たせることの是非
- 小中学生に携帯を持たせることは適切ではないと私は考えます。
- 携帯電話は便利ですが、無用な使用は深刻な問題を引き起こすことがあります。
- 最近では携帯電話を利用した犯罪が増えており、子供達の安全が懸念されます。
- ベストアンサー
自由英作文の添削をお願いします。
月末に大学入試を控えている高校３年生です。 文法ミスやもっと適切な表現がありましたら、ご指導いただけるとありがたいです。 テーマ：小中学生に携帯を持たせることの是非 In my opinion, children in elementary school or secondary school should not have a cell phone. It is true that a cell phone is very useful, and it enables them to communicate with their friends or parents easliy at any time. However, a careless use of a cell phone often brings about serious problems. Recently, many children have been involved in crimes by use of a cell phone. They are sometimes killed by people with whome they became acquainted in an Internet community site. Children have a poor knowledge to protect themselves. When we think about whether children can use communication tools appropriately or not, we will believe that they cannot do. So I want to emphasize that parents should not have their children carry a cell phone.
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- お礼率100% (2/2)
- 英語
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質問者が選んだベストアンサー
すみません、超細かい事しかないですけど。。。 ＞Children in elementary school or secondary school should not have a cell phone. aを取ってcell phonesの方が良い気がします。 ＞a careless use of a cell phone often brings about serious problems careless useの前にaは要りません。 またbringは他動詞ですので、aboutは要りません。 ＞They are sometimes killed by people with whome they became acquainted in an Internet community site inではなくthrough internet community sitesの方が良い気がします。 ＞Children have a poor knowledge to protect themselves poorよりかはinsufficientとかの方が、高級に聞こえるかもしれません。 ＞When we think about whether children can use communication tools appropriately or not, we will believe that they cannot do. 文頭でIn my opinionと言ってるので、主語はIの方が良いではないでしょうか？ それで主節はI don't think(believe) they can doにします、私なら。 ＞I want to emphasize that parents should not have their children carry a cell phone. ここの使役動詞、私ならletを使うかも。 後、私ならI'd like to にします。
関連するQ&A
- 英作文添削お願いします。
テーマはここ数年のニュースで話題になったものというものです。 I was interested in the news which the age of adult should be lowered to eighteen years old. I agree with this idea. Young people these days are overprotected. They can't know anything about the world. It is true that people in their teens still aren't mentally and physically mature. Manｙ teenageｒ don't have a full time job, live with their parents and depend on their parents, However, this is the reason why the age of adult should be lowered. Someday, they will have to live by their own. If they have to be responsible to everything they do, they will become aware that they should be independent. They would also appreciate their parents. よろしくおねがいします。
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- 英語
- 至急です！英検2級の作文添削お願いします！
至急です！！英検2級の作文添削お願いします！；； TOPIC These days, many parents give their children smartphones or tablets to use. Do you think children should have these electronic devices? I think children should have smartphones or tablets. First, if they use these electronic devices, they can study efficiently. For example, these electronic device can provide a good opportunity of studying because these election devices can use Internet that have many websites for studying.Second, it is convenient for children when they want to send a message for their parents. For instance, these erection devices have many communication apps. Therefore, they can send and receive messages any time and anywhere. In conclusion, I strongly agree with this opinion.
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- 英語
- 英作文の添削をお願いします。
大学の二次試験で自由英作文があるのですがなかなかうまく行きません。添削をお願い致します。 テーマは、[携帯電話についてどう思うか]です。 In my opinion, cell phone was enabie us to do many things.Take an example.we can contact other people immediatly when we are late for appointmennt.And we can use it whereever we are.we need not find a public phone.In addition to, we can contact someone I want to talk wherever the person is.But contraryto their good sides,we have bad sides,too.For example,we often see someone calling on train or bus.And we often catch a phone at midnight suddenly.It is very rode and they think nothing but their conveniences.we understand such bose sides and should consider apt time and appropriate place when we use cell phone. 間違いが多いとは思いますが、どうかお願いします。
- 締切済み
- 英語
- 自由英作文の添削をお願いします。
文法ミスや、その他改良すべき点ががありましたら指摘していただけるとありがたいです。 テーマ：小学校における外国語教育の是非 In my opinion, children should not study a foreign language in an elementary school. It is true that learning another language enables us to communicate with people who speak the language, and to see the world in a new way. However, I believe that people in their early days ought to learn their own language deeply. It is because mother tongue has a very important role in their lives, and peole could establish their identity by studying it enough. Furthermore, children in an elementary school already have many subjects to study, so it is not able to be thought of as a wise selection to made children have more burden. For these reasons, I emphasize that children should study their own language deeply insted of learnig foreign languages.
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- 英語
- (英作文)高校生が学校に携帯 禁止それとも？
次の文のことで、お尋ねしたいことがあります。 「現在、日本の多くの高等学校では、生徒が携帯電話を持ってくることを禁止しています。これについてあなたの考えを書きなさい」 1.下にある曖昧な作文ですが、言いたいことが伝わっていますでしょうか？ 字数は、気にしなくてよいのですが、１００語以上を目安にしています。 添削してくださるのもとても勉強になりますが、でも、２あなた様ならどのような主張で、どう英語で表現するかを書いてくださるととても助かります。 ３、下の書き方はよい書き方でしょうか？それとも悪い書き方でしょうか？ 「この文は何が言いたいのかさっぱりわからない」という場合は、遠慮なくおっしゃってください。 どういう表現にすればよかったのかを、一緒に問題を考えてくださると幸いです。 []は段落番号です。 [1] I am for high school students from carrying cell phones because it is not necessary for them at school. [2] When you come back home late because of school club activities, it is possible for them to get in touch with thier parents everwhere. However, we see many bad students absorbed in using a cell phone without considering other people's feelings and ther are not aware that they are bothering other people on the train or in the bus. When their friends call them up and they try to answer the phone, they speak loudly on the phone while they are bothering other poeple. We should't allow them to carry a cell phone while they are not considerating others. [3] There seems many high school students who can concentrate on studying, though they have a cell phone. However, the fact is that there are many high school students using it by sending e-mail to their friends and our teachers told them not to use it and not to carry it in school. [4] When they get into college and they are able to be responsible for what they do, they should buy their own cell phone, not asking their parents to buy it. It is obvious that a cell phone isn't nessesary for them.
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- 英語
- 英作の添削お願いします
Do you think that parents should pressure their children to compete ? Write a passage of 5 sentence in English. この問いに対する私の英作です。 I think that parents should not pressure there children to compete. Parhaps children began to compete something, provided children like it. But If parents gives exceeding pressure their children to compete, children come to dislike it. Even if they like it. The best way that parents only keep watch children. Therefore, children began to compete even whithout pressure. 私はよくないと思う。おそらく好きだったら自分で競争しはじめる。しかし、もし親が重圧をかけるぎると嫌いになってしまう。たとえそれが好きなことであっても。一番いいのは見守ることだ。それゆえ、プレッシャーをかけなくても・・・・ みたいな事が書きたかったのですが。 添削よろしくお願いしますm(_ _)m
- ベストアンサー
- 英語
- 自由英作文添削
自由英作文の添削お願いします 設問:「子供は親の背中を見て育つ」と言う言葉があります。それでは、親というものは子供にどのような「背中」を見せるべきではないと思いますか。また、それ はなぜですか。具体的な例をあげながら70語程度の英語で説明しなさい。 I think parents should not show their children their rudeness to others. It is because , if they see their rudeness every day , they will imitate their attitude. It leads to many ploblems in the society. For example, if they don't look up to the senior , they talk friendly with their boss, and the boss get angry then they may lose their job. It is very terrible. 英語得意なかたお願いします。 出来れば文章の構成方法も教えていただけたら嬉しいです。
- ベストアンサー
- 英語
- 英作文で質問があります
学問は、親の期待にこたえるためよりも、自分自身のために励むべきだ。 A person should concentrate on their studies for themselves, not in order to live up to their parents' expectations. 問題と解答例は上記で、幾つか疑問などがありました。 (1) なぜ not の位置がここなのか。 in order not to ではないのかと思いました。 (2) 主語が A person で始まっているのに、なぜ their や themselves で受けているのか。 (3) (1)の not の位置とも関係してくるのですが、もし、この英文を二文に分けたらどうなるのか。 A person should not concentrate on their studies in order to live up to their parents' expectations. They should do for themselves. こうなるとすれば、 in order not to では意味合いがおかしくなるの は分かります。 分かる方がいらっしゃいましたらよろしくお願いいたします。
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こんばんは！自由英作文の添削をお願いします！ ネットカフェ難民について One of the problems Net cafe refuggees are now facing is that almost all of them could not find the regular employment if they want. This is because they don't own or rent a residence and thus have no address. No company will employ those people. To solve this problem, the gorvernment should support them. But,you may say that they should stand on their two feet. However,their low-paid temporary jobs make it impossible for them to save up money by themselves to rent an apartment. Thus, the gorvenment should take some action to disconnect the vicious circle in which they can't find regular employment because they don't have housing. ※私は大学受験生です。周りに添削をしてくれる人がいなくて困っています。どんな些細な点でもいいのでご指摘くださればありがたいです。よろしくお願いします！ 毎回ご丁寧に添削してくださってありがとうございます！今回はネットカフェ難民について書いたのですが、改善策の部分が説得力に欠けると自分で感じました。ご意見いただけたらありがたいです。お願いします！
- ベストアンサー
- 英語
- 自由英作文の添削をお願いします。
自由英作文の添削をお願いします。 少子化について原因と対策を100語以内で述べています。 Nowadays the number of children is decreasing in Japan. Since it costs a lot of money to raise their children, many young people don't marry. I think the Japanese economic is so bad that they can't earn enough money to raise. So the Japanese government should help them. I think it should make a plan to establish more preschools for mothers. If that came true, they could work at noon. Children will play a important role in the future. So I want the Japanese government to make efforts to get out of this situation. <94語> ミス、また説得力の有無などもご指摘いただけると嬉しいです。 よろしくお願いします。
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- 英語
お礼
いえいえ、本当に助かります！ まだまだ改善点が多いみたいですね… ご指導いただきありがとうございました！ しっかり反省して本番に繋げたいと思います。 また機会があればよろしくお願いします。