• ベストアンサー
  • すぐに回答を!

何度も申し訳ないのですが。自由英作文の添削

何度もすいません。 受験が迫りあせっていて添削を依頼させていただことが多いと思うのですが もしよろしければ些細な点でも指摘いただけると助かります テーマ 日本について外国人に何か自由に説明してください(100~150) There is a lot of great beautiful nature in Japan. For example, it has Mt.Fuji , which is very famous for its height. It is the highest mountain in Japan, so a lot of foreign tourists come to japan in order to see it. It is also famous for its beauty. Last summer I went sightseeing in Yamanasi. When I took a look at Mt.Fuji, I was overwhelmed by its beuauty. Probably you may not be able to understamd how great it was, so I recommend that you see it. In addition, you can climb it. If you have conffidence in your physical strength, you should have a try. It is said the view from the top is beyond description.

共感・応援の気持ちを伝えよう!

  • 英語
  • 回答数3
  • 閲覧数200
  • ありがとう数3

質問者が選んだベストアンサー

  • ベストアンサー
  • 回答No.1

こんにちは。日本の自然について、富士山を挙げている、ということで、2行目の文章でもう少し富士山の美しさを書いてみるといいと思います。また、2行目の文章は山の高さと自然の美しさ、というのが関連性がないのと、富士山が日本で一番高い山だから外国人が見に来るのか、という疑問があります。 Web Japanという外国人向けの日本紹介サイトで富士山の項目を見ると、四季だけでなく時間帯によっても富士山の風景が異なり、それが一番魅了するものだろう、という内容が書かれています。 http://web-japan.org/atlas/nature/nature_fr.html 例えば2番目にそのような内容を入れます。 One of the good examples is Mt. Fuji, the highest mountain in Japan. It has scenic beauty, and its views change in each season and even during a day. These different views may attract a lot of foreign tourists to see it. そして Last summer...の文では、Yamanashi の説明を入れます。日本では周知のことですが、外国人にはYamanashiが富士山とどのような関係があるのか、説明する必要があります。 Last summer I went sightseeing in Yamanashi, the southern border of which Mt. Fuji is located. I was overwhelmed by its beauty. Seeing is believing. You may not realize how beautiful it is. I recommend you to enjoy its view with your own eyes. 後は、山に登れる夏場に登ってみるのもいい・・・と続けるといいと思います。

共感・感謝の気持ちを伝えよう!

質問者からのお礼

指摘ありがとうございます! 言われてみるとやはり論理性に欠けていることにきづきました 自分では気づかない間違いに気づくことができ ほんとうにありがたいです!!! 参考サイトまでもありがとうございます!! ミスのなく減点されない英作をめざしてがんばります!

その他の回答 (2)

  • 回答No.3
  • yuu111
  • ベストアンサー率20% (234/1134)

こんにちは 全体的には、主旨もすっきりしていて読みやすい文章だと思います。 もう少し簡単な構文で書くとなおよいと思います。 内容についてですが、これですと日本の紹介と言うよりは富士山の紹介のような感じがするので、富士山を例に出しながら、日本の自然の美しさはこういう特徴がある、とかいう展開に出来るとなおよいのではないかと思います

共感・感謝の気持ちを伝えよう!

質問者からのお礼

指摘ありがとうございます! 内容面にも気をつけて練習を積んでいこうと思います!

  • 回答No.2

X conffidence O confidence X understamd O understand In addition, you can climb it. 問題ないと思うのですが、ここでIn additionというのもやや堅苦しいかも? You can also? まぁそんなことないか(^^;)

共感・感謝の気持ちを伝えよう!

質問者からのお礼

ありがとうございます!! 堅苦しい表現なんですか! 気をつけたいとおもいます!!

関連するQ&A

  • 自由英作文の添削をお願いします。

    問題文: 次のような想定で手紙の一部を書け。 「あなたが中学生のときから文通を続けてきたJamesが初めて日本を訪れることになった。滞在期間は1月から2月までではどうかと言ってきた。それに対して、(1)来日の時期は3月末からの1ヶ月間にした方がよいとすすめ、(2)なぜその方がよいかを具体的に説明し、返事を出す事にした。 印刷してある書き出しの部分に続けて、上記の(1)と(2)の内容を入れて、40語程度で書け。」 Dear James, I was delighted to get your letter and learn that you will be able to visit Japan in the near future. I am looking forward to meeting you. I will be happy to show you some of the famous places in Japan. You said in your letter that you would like to come for one month from January to February._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Please let me know if that would be all right with you. I'll be looking forward to hearing from you. My regards to your parents. Sincerely, yours, 自分の解答: I recommend that, however, you come for one month from in the end of March. That is why it will be still cold for getting around, and in spring, you can see a lot of beautiful Sakura which is popular for visitors in Japan. (44words)

  • 自由英作文の添削をお願いしたいんですが。。。

    現在浪人中なのですが 添削を依頼できる方もおらずこちらに質問させていただきました。 勝手なお願いですがよろしければお願いします テーマ  オリンピックについて自分の考えを約100~150語で述べよ In my opinion, the Olympics are very important events. As you know,this is the age of globalization, so it is necessary for you to contact more actively with foreigners, but there is few opportunity to do so. Some people may say that thay have such chance since a lot of foreigners come to and live in Japan. However, I rarely see Japanese people talking with foreigners very friendly. This is the case. Then,through sports, many people can communicate with people from all over the world. In other words, the Olympics can give you such opportunity. Therefore I would say that the Olympics are very precious.

  • 自由英作文の添削をお願いします。

    自由英作文の添削をお願いします。 少子化について原因と対策を100語以内で述べています。 Nowadays the number of children is decreasing in Japan. Since it costs a lot of money to raise their children, many young people don't marry. I think the Japanese economic is so bad that they can't earn enough money to raise. So the Japanese government should help them. I think it should make a plan to establish more preschools for mothers. If that came true, they could work at noon. Children will play a important role in the future. So I want the Japanese government to make efforts to get out of this situation. <94語> ミス、また説得力の有無などもご指摘いただけると嬉しいです。 よろしくお願いします。

  • 自由英作文の添削お願いします。

    いつもお世話になっています。3度目になります、よろしくお願いします<(_ _)> 受験まで約1週間のこの時期、添削していただけるこの場に本当に感謝です。 問:What is the best place you have ever visited? Describe what it was like, and why you liked it so much.(60語程度) The best place I have ever visited is Okinawa.I called at there in our school trip for the first time.In the time, I was astonished that the sea is truely blue.I also remember that we paid a visit in the Shuri castle. In the place, there are many historical biographies, and I came to be interested in the history of Okinawa. I want to visit Okinawa again. スペルミス、表現のミス等ありましたらご指摘いただけると嬉しいです。 よろしくお願いします<(_ _)>

  • 自由英作文の添削をお願いします

    周りに添削を頼める人がいないので添削をお願いします。 ネット上で添削するのは手間がかかるでしょうから、気づいた点などを挙げていただくだけでも結構です。 (問) 以下の意見に関して自分の考えを120~150文字で述べなさい。 Japan should open its doors to foreign workers. (答) I agree with this statement. When you think about this problem,you should divide foreign workers into two groups. One is people who are smart like graduating from famous college.They would come to Japan because they want to get business chance they can earn a lot of money. The other is people who cannot earn enough money to live in their own countries,for example China or Malaysia. The former can contribute Japan to flourish.The more money they earn,the more japanese economy improve. The later also can,because Japan will not have enough labor because of decreasing its population in the future. Certainly ,if a lot of foreign people come to Japan,they could destroy japanese culture,and japasese people will not get comfortable. But japanese people understand foreign culture,and foreign people also do. Thus,Japan should open its doors to foreign workers. (日本文) 私はこの意見に同意します。 この問題について考えるとき、外国人労働者を2つのグループに分ける必要がある。ひとつは有名な大学を卒業するような賢い人々だ。彼らはたくさんのお金を稼げるビジネスチャンスをつかむために日本に来るだろう。 もう一方は中国やマレーシアなど自分自身の国では生活するために十分なお金を稼げない人々である。 前者は日本の繁栄に貢献できる。彼らが多くのお金を稼げば稼ぐほど、日本の経済は発達する。後者も、日本の人口が減少することにより労働者が十分に確保できないだろうことから、同じように貢献できる。 確かに、もし多くの外国人労働者が日本に来ると、彼らは日本の文化を破壊するかもしれない、そして日本人は不快になるだろう。 しかし、日本人が外国人労働者の文化を理解すれば、彼らも同じように理解するだろう。 したがって、日本は外国人労働者に扉を開くべきだ。

  • 自由英作文の添削お願いします!

    自由英作文の添削をして頂きたいのです。 テーマが「ストレスの解消方法」です。 指定語数は100語で、僕は143語書きました。 文法的に内容的に不自然ではないかどうかを見ていただきたいです! 点数も25点満点で何点かつけてください! よろしくお願いします! Everyone tends to feel stressed in modern society, but we have to reduce stress. Now I would like to suggest the following three measures. First, it is good to take a walk to refresh oneself. This is because the fresh air will make my temper relaxed. Second, when I am fed up with studying the subjects which I dislike, I often listen to my favorite music while studying. Listening to music lead me to study again. Last, I talk with my friends when I have troubles. It is important to prevent you from accumulating a lot of stresses. This is why it is also important to have friends who you confide. It may be almost inevitable for us to feel stressed, but we can relieve stress. Like above three measures, we should find time to do things we like, and have some hobbies.

  • また自由英作文添削もしよければ。。。。。

    何度も申し訳ないのですが もしよければお願いします 「慣れることによって注意がおろそかになるものだ。」 上の筆者について自分の感想、意見、経験など100~150語で書きなさい I agree with this writer's idea. I like cooking , so I make a meal every day. I have confidence in using a knife because I have used it for many years. However, I sometimes cut my finger by mistake. As soon as I cut my finger , I realize that my confidence surely make me forget to be careful in cooking. When I take care, I don't cut my finger. Thus, it is very important to take care even in daily lives. From my experience, I believe that his idea is so reasonable that you have to keep it in mind.

  • 自由英作文の添削をお願いします。

    何度も失礼します。前回、前々回とも詳しく、ご丁寧な添削ありがとうございます。 あつかましいのですが、また自由英作文の添削をお願いします。 グローバル化がもたらすメリットとデメリット・それに対する意見 The merit of globalization is that we can access to technology, imformation, services and markets all over the world. They are good for local communities because they could take part in world economic. But,the demerit of globalization is that there is a possibility that individual distinctions of culture and society become erased by an increasingly homogeneous global culture. For example, I have been to Thailand before. I hoped that I enjoyed ehnic costume and delicious food wagons although they are dirty. But, The scene of Thailand seldom change to a spectacle of Japan. There were a lot of department stores of Japan, and many people enjoyed shopping with the dress in good taste. As my conclution, it is important for us to advance globalization as we remain individual culture and society. 長くなってしまいすいません。どんな些細な点でもご指摘いただければありがたいです。よろしくお願いします。

  • 英作文の添削をお願いします。

    問い:Do you like living where you live now,or would you rather live somewhere else in Japan or in the world? Why? Answer these questions as completely as you can. Use detail. Make us see and hear and smell and touch the place you are in ,or the place you imagine. Write in English on your answer sheet. I like living where I live now. I live in Gifu.there are two good reason why I like living in Gifu. First of all, there is good environment for living. Urban like Tokyo ,it is convenient for us to live in. However, there are some environmental problems such as air pollution and water pollution and etc. In contrast, Gihu is clean air and water. Moreover, there is few environmental problems. It is confortable for us to live there. Second, Gihu is a easygoing place. Urban are busy place. I like easygoing place better than busy place because I would like to act my own pace. I feel that people who live in urban are always busy and hurry. I do not want to disturb my own pace. That is all reason I want to live in Gifu

  • 英作文の添削お願いします。

    英語の基礎がないため間違いながら覚えています。めちゃくちゃな文なのはわかってますが、お時間があるようでしたら、修正をお願いします。 Hey Simon, How are you doing? I'm doing good. well, your girlfriend went to England!! you're going good. but she probably get jealousy,coz next your work is university has a lot of young girls. the day come up when I leave Eikaiwa-school. coz I have only 10point and a few spesial tickets. I go on studying English,though. recently I am taught by childhood friend. she went American school. she is very kind. but a little bit temper.I want to meet you her. well, I head Yui that your birthday is in Sep 15th!! Happy happy birthday SIMON!!!!! how old are you? 25 or 26? my gift is a ticket for TOYOTA CUP. It's Barcelona game. if you are not buzy, why don't we go to see to Nissan studium(Yokohama). I'm not sure yet that I can go to Narita to pick you up. I know your company will arrange for your transport. but If I can go and I don't make a touble for you, I want to go to Narita to pick you up. maybe Yui too. why don't we have a lunch, and after that I'll take you at your company or your new apt. what do you think?