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自由英作文の添削をお願いします。

問題文: 次のような想定で手紙の一部を書け。 「あなたが中学生のときから文通を続けてきたJamesが初めて日本を訪れることになった。滞在期間は1月から2月までではどうかと言ってきた。それに対して、(1)来日の時期は3月末からの1ヶ月間にした方がよいとすすめ、(2)なぜその方がよいかを具体的に説明し、返事を出す事にした。 印刷してある書き出しの部分に続けて、上記の(1)と(2)の内容を入れて、40語程度で書け。」 Dear James, I was delighted to get your letter and learn that you will be able to visit Japan in the near future. I am looking forward to meeting you. I will be happy to show you some of the famous places in Japan. You said in your letter that you would like to come for one month from January to February._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Please let me know if that would be all right with you. I'll be looking forward to hearing from you. My regards to your parents. Sincerely, yours, 自分の解答: I recommend that, however, you come for one month from in the end of March. That is why it will be still cold for getting around, and in spring, you can see a lot of beautiful Sakura which is popular for visitors in Japan. (44words)

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添削 I recommend, however, that you come at the end of March for a month's visit because it will be still too cold to get around in January or February in Japan. At the end of March, you will see a lot of beautiful cherry blossoms, which are popular for visitors in Japan. (52 words) これでも、popularというのはあまりいい感じがしません。It will be a season of cherry blossoms at the end of March. Many people visit popular cherry blossoms sites. とかやればpopularも生かされます。 語数を40語程度にするには I recommend, however, that you come from March to April because it will be still too cold to get around in January or February in Japan. At the end of March, you will see a lot of beautiful cherry blossoms here. (41 words) 以上、ご参考になればと思います。

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質問者からのお礼

添削ありがとうございました、助かります お礼が遅くなってしまい申し訳ないです 今回はわりがち上手く書けたかなと思っていたのですが結構酷かったようで… 自由英作文は表現を自分で考えられる点で下線部英訳よりも楽なはずなのに 自分の頭の中で浮かんだ日本語に引っ張られてしまうのではダメダメですね 練習を重ねて柔軟に英語を書けるようになれるよう頑張ります

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