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英作文の添削お願いします。

英語の基礎がないため間違いながら覚えています。めちゃくちゃな文なのはわかってますが、お時間があるようでしたら、修正をお願いします。 Hey Simon, How are you doing? I'm doing good. well, your girlfriend went to England!! you're going good. but she probably get jealousy,coz next your work is university has a lot of young girls. the day come up when I leave Eikaiwa-school. coz I have only 10point and a few spesial tickets. I go on studying English,though. recently I am taught by childhood friend. she went American school. she is very kind. but a little bit temper.I want to meet you her. well, I head Yui that your birthday is in Sep 15th!! Happy happy birthday SIMON!!!!! how old are you? 25 or 26? my gift is a ticket for TOYOTA CUP. It's Barcelona game. if you are not buzy, why don't we go to see to Nissan studium(Yokohama). I'm not sure yet that I can go to Narita to pick you up. I know your company will arrange for your transport. but If I can go and I don't make a touble for you, I want to go to Narita to pick you up. maybe Yui too. why don't we have a lunch, and after that I'll take you at your company or your new apt. what do you think?

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  • 英語
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  • 回答No.3
noname#20453
noname#20453

英語がうまくなるには自分の今ある力で英文を沢山書いてみることです。読み手が友達なら何とか理解しよう努力するものです。書いたらネイティブ等にチェックしてもらってどこがどう違うのか確認することです。努力して語彙を増やし、文法(試験用の文法ではない)の力がつけば、もっとうまくなります。原文に沿ってrewriteしてみました。サイモンにdouble checkしてもらってください。 Hey Simon, How are you doing? I'm doing good. Well, your girlfriend has gone (英国人で英国に帰ったのならreturned) to England!! I hope you're doing ok without her. She may get jealous because there are a lot of young girls studying at the college, your new workplace. The day will come soon when I have to quit the eikaiwa-school because I have only 10 points and a few special tickets left. I will, however, go on studying English. A childhood friend recently told me she went to an American school. She is very kind, but a little bit short-tempered (短気). I want you to meet her. Well, I heard from Yui that your birthday is Sep 15th. A happy birthday to you, SIMON!!!!! How old are you now, 25 or 26? My birthday gift for you is a Toyota Cup ticket for the Barcelona vs. 対戦相手のチーム名 game. If you are not busy, why don't we go to the Nissan stadium in Yokohama to enjoy the game. I'm not sure yet whether I can go to Narita Airport to pick you up. I know your company will arrange your transport. Will this cause any trouble if go to the airport to pick you up. I want to go to Narita Airport to pick you up if I can. Maybe Yui wants to come with me. Why don't we have lunch together? I'll take you to your office or your new apartment after lunch. What do you say?

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質問者からのお礼

全文書き直してくださるなんて大変だったでしょう。ありがとうございます。私の文法は最悪なのは自分でも理解してます。ですが現状で私の精一杯の文でした。donchuckさんの英文を参考にこういう言い方をしたほうがいいんだ、と感じながら知識を深めさせていただきます。

その他の回答 (2)

  • 回答No.2
noname#34556
noname#34556

こんにちは。 恐らく英文を作る際に、日本語である程度イメージされてから書くことになると思うのですが、例えば、 日本語ではこう書きたい、そして英語ではこのように書いてみた。など、例を挙げていただけると回答する側も回答がしやすくなると思いますよ。 上記の文ですと、実際pawlyさんが何を言いたいのか、書きたいのか、内容がつかみかねます。 こんにちはサイモン、元気?私は元気だよ。 →Hey Simon, How are you doing? I'm doing good. 彼女がイギリスに行ったんだよね!! →well, your girlfriend went to England!! ↑のように、多少詳しく、日本語で言いたいことと、作成された英文を書いて頂けると良いと思いますよ。

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質問者からのお礼

そうですね、きっとめちゃくちゃすぎて皆さん何が言いたいかわからないですね。次回からそうしてみます。

  • 回答No.1

 これだけの英文を書くのには相当骨が折れたでしょうね。ご苦労様です。  しかし大変残念ですがあまりにめちゃくちゃすぎて「添削」するというレベルにはないようです。中学1,2年レベルの基本的な英文のルール(あえて文法とは言いません。文法というほどのレベルにないようです)、単語の綴り(例えば、buzyではなくbusy、これはちょっと気の利いた小学生でも知っています)がほぼ理解されていないような印象を受けます。もし修正するとすればこれだけの英文であっても数十箇所、あるいは100箇所近くの修正が必要です。(私は最初の数行でもう読む気力を失いました)  もうすこし英語を勉強されてからのほうがよさそうです。

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質問者からのお礼

厳しいお言葉でしたが今の私にはそれくらい言われたほうがガッツがわきます。もっと努力してがんばります。ありがとうございました。

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