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久しぶりに日記風に英作文を書きました、表現が解らない所を含め、添削をお願いしたいのです。よろしくお願いいたします。

Hi, Crystal! What are you doing now? Are you cleaning up your room? Me? Yes, I already did it. I am waiting for you while writing my diary as usual. When you will finish it, please call me, OK?  Today is our day-off. Did you know why I said “our day-off”. Because today is a public holiday in Japan. Not only today, from today to the day after tomorrow, these 3 days are public holidays! And this Saturday will be my day-off. So I am out of work these 5days! Tomorrow, I am going to see my parents and to have a lunch at the hotel. I am looking forward to see them. Other 4 days, I don’t have a special plan. I am going to spend relaxed.(のんびりと過ごすつもりです…..と言いたいのですが。) Did you call me, Crystal? You finished to clean up your room, didn’t you. Good! Please read my diary. While then, I go to my garden and snip off flowers of Pansy. See you later,Crystal!

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  • 英語
  • 回答数4
  • 閲覧数138
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  • 回答No.4

Gです。 こんにちは!!! 私なりに書かせてくださいね。 >Hi, Crystal! What are you doing now? OKです。 添削する必要はまったくありませんね。 >Are you cleaning up your room? upを取ってしまったほうが良いですね。 その表現できれいにする、部屋の中を整頓すると言うフィーリングがちゃんと出ますね。 >Me? Yes, I already did it. didでも良いですが、I already finished it/mineでもI'm done.でもMy room is now clean!!でも良いですね。I have already finished mine.と言う表現もちゃんと使えます。 >I am waiting for you while writing my diary as usual. I am waiting for you to finish yours というようにちょっと、9来るのを、ではなく)終えるのを待つ、と言うフィーリングでfor you to finish yours.と言う表現が使えます。 >When you will finish it, please call me, OK? When you are done, please call me, OK? I'm doneと同じようにyou are done,と言う表現を使って、「終える」と言うフィーリングをいかにも受動態を使っているような表現をします。 I'm done with studyingと書けば、勉強を終えた、と言うフィーリングを出すことが出来ます。 日本語では過去形ですが英語ではこの表現を現在形を使います。 つまり、終わった状態に今いる、と言う表現なのです。   >Today is our day-off. Did you know why I said “our day-off”. Because today is a public holiday in Japan. public holidayは宗教的な祭日も含みますので、国が決めた祭日、と言う意味でNational Holidayという表現をします。 >Not only today, from today to the day after tomorrow, these 3 days are public holidays! from today until the day after tomorrowと言う表現が出来ます。 >And this Saturday will be my day-off. And this coming Saturday is my day-off. と言う表現をして、今から来る土曜日と言う表現をします。 そしてもう決まっているわけですからisを使うわけですね。 このAndは大変うまく使っています。 5日休みなんだよ!そしてね、この土曜日は、と言うフィーリングが出ているわけですね。 ですから、3日間休みなのでこの土曜日は、とか、3日間休みなんだけど、と言うフィーリングはここにはないわけで、あくまでもAndが生きてくるわけです。 >So I am out of work these 5days! I will be off-work for these 5 days, of course including Sunday.となります。 日曜のことは書かなくてもCrystalはわかっているかもしれませんね。 >Tomorrow, I am going to see my parents and to have a lunch at the hotel. ここでは、「そして」でも「だから」でもなく、明日は、と区切ってしまった表現ですね。 ちゃんとカンマを使っていますね。 これもうまく表現しています。 at a hotelと言う表現をして、あるホテルで、と言うフィーリングを出します。 もし、このホテルのことが前に出ていてそのことがわかっていれば、the hotelで良いですね。 have a lunch at a hotel with themと言う表現をすることで、人ではなく両親と、と言うフィーリングがはっきりと出すことが出来ます。 >I am looking forward to see them. forward to seeingと現在完了形を名詞として使います。 forward to the lunch gathering.と言う違う表現の名詞を使うことも出来ますね。 会うだけでなくランチをするために集まること、をいっているわけです。 >Other 4 days, I don’t have a special plan. For other 4 days,とほかの4日間は、と言うフィーリングのためにforを使います。 なくても大丈夫です。 For other 4 days including todayという表現をすれば、今日を含めて4日、と言う表現になるわけです。 >I am going to spend relaxed.(のんびり>と過ごすつもりです…..と言いたいのですが。) I'm just going to relax.とかちょっと長くして、I'm gonna do nothing and relax all day.と言う表現をして、何もしないでリラックスするつもりと言うフィーリングを出せるわけです。 >Did you call me, Crystal? ここがちょっとわからないですが、今電話が鳴ったけど、と言う表現を挿入すれば、使えますね。Did you just call me now, Crystal? I heard my phone ring. と言う表現になります。 >You finished to clean up your room, didn’t you. Good! ここもYou have finished cleaning your room, haven't you? 掃除は終わってしまったよね、と言って、よかった、と言う事になるわけです。 >Please read my diary. While then, I go to my garden and snip off flowers of Pansy. See you later,Crystal! While you are doing thatとか、Meantime/Meanwhileという単語を使って、それをやっている間に、というフィーリングを表すことが出来ます。 snip off some flowers from the pansiesと言う言い方をして、「(パンジーが花を咲かせ続けるために咲き終わりつつある)花を摘む」と言うフィーリングを花壇家はsnip/cut offと言う表現をします。(この間書きましたね)これからはバラもsnip offしなくてはなりませんね。 See you later.のほかに、Catch you later, Take care, Until next time, Ciao for now,等の表現を使って変化を出すことが出来ます。 また明日(数時間後)は忙しい日になります。 中国大使とのミーティングが入っています。 眠たそうな顔じゃまずいので、ここで終えさせてください。 これでいかがでしょうか。 分かりにくい点がありましたら、補足質問してください。 

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質問者からのお礼

いつも細かくありがとうございます。いつもお忙しい中なのに、沢山の方々に回答を書いていらっしゃる事に頭が下がる思いです。私の質問に、沢山の方々が大切な時間をさいて回答を書いていただいてると思うと、一生懸命頑張らないと!と思います。進歩の歩みは遅くても続けたいと思っています。 ☆また明日(数時間後)は忙しい日になります。 中国大使とのミーティングが入っています。 眠たそうな顔じゃまずいので、ここで終えさせてください。 どうぞお元気で頑張って下さい。

その他の回答 (3)

  • 回答No.3

えっと、日記風と言うところが良くわかりませんが、そうなら普通 Dear Diary で始まるんですが、この Crystalってどなたですか?どちらかと言うとお手紙の感じがしますが♪ さて、色々と不自然なところが多すぎるので、全部書き直しましょうね。 Hello Crystal! What are you up to? Have you tidied up you room yet? I'm already done! I'm writing in my diary while I'm waiting for you, as usual! When you are done, please give me a shout. Today is a day-off for us. Do you know why I said "us"? That's because it's a public holiday throughout the whole of Japan. Oh, and not just today; in fact, up until the day after tomorrow, we have 3 public holidays in a row! And as Saturday is my day-off, I'll be off for a full five days! So tomorrow, I'm going to see my parents and have lunch with them at a hotel. I'm really looking forward to seeing them! For the remaining four days, I haven't really decided what to do. So I'll probably end up doing nothing and loafing around at home and take things easy. Did you call me? Are you done with your room now? Good! Hey, you can take a look at my diary then! Meantime, I'll be tending to my garden and cut some of my pansies. So see you later! 細かいところではこのようにかなり違うのね☆これを参考にすれば上達は早いかもね♪ 文法的とか、ニュアンスの解説が必要なら、rose-crystalさんの原文を教えてね♪ このCrystalさんってrose-crystalさんの親戚? そんじゃね!

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  • 回答No.2

こんにちは。普段読んでないのですがちょっと目についたところだけ。 >Are you cleaning up your room? 部屋の掃除ですが、cleaning upが除去,一掃を連想させます(アメリカ映画の見過ぎかもしれませんが)。野球でもクリーンアップ(塁上のランナーを一掃する)っていいますよね。 Are you cleaning room? でいいと思います。 (なぜか私はわざとyourを入れたくないのです。なぜかわからないのですが、たぶんあなたの部屋といわなくても「掃除してるの?」といいたいからかもしれません。) >this Saturday これは私はnext Saturdayといいます。次に来る土曜が今週の土曜とわかっているからです。 これは過去の質問でもでていますし、人によって(英語を習った国で)若干使い方があるので、検索してみてください。 >So I am out of work these 5days! out of work は失業中です。 So I am off for these 5days! So I don't need to work for 5days! >to have a lunch at the hotel. これはうまい使い方で、ニュアンスがでています。 両親とホテルにいくぞ、そしてそこで食べるんだぞ、というのが am to haveでうまくでています。 細かいことをいうと、I am going to see my parents の主語はIで、食事を食べにいくのは全員なのでweと主語にずれがありますが、日記としてはこのくらいアバウトでいいんじゃないでしょうか。 >I am looking forward to see them. look forward to はto不定詞ではありません。名詞や動名詞を取ります。 I am looking forward to seeing them. > While then, I go to my garden and snip off flowers of Pansy. Whie then? は、しばらくしてからといいたいのでしたら、after a while けでいいと思います。 あと snip offは、いかにもチョキンと切りにいくぞ、という感じなので、 go get flowers of Pansy でどうでしょう。

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質問者からのお礼

gooで、皆様の回答をいただきながら勉強しています。英語を話す機会がほとんど無いので、"話せるようになりたい!"の思いを抱きながら、日記風に語りかけるような形で書いています。私にとっては簡単なことでは無いですががんばりたいのです。一つづつしっかりと身につく努力をしたいと思います。アドバイスをありがとうございます。

  • 回答No.1
  • rheme
  • ベストアンサー率33% (2/6)

>Yes, I already did it. 「もう、終わったよ。」という場合は、 Yes, I've already finished it. というといいでしょう。 >When you will finish it, please call me, OK? when節にはwillを使わずに、現在形のままでOK。 When you finish it, please call me, OK? もしくは、 Please call me if you finish. でもいいかも。終わるものが掃除と分かっていれば 目的語はなくてもいいでしょう。 >I am looking forward to see them. このときのtoの後の動詞は~ingの形のなります。 I am looking forword to seeing them. >You finished to clean up your room, didn’t you. finishはto不定詞ではなくて、動名詞をとります。 You finished cleaning up your room, didn’t you? 気がついたところだけ、話させていただきました。

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質問者からのお礼

ここgooだけで英語の勉強をしています。毎日の仕事に忙しいので、中々時間をかけてじっくりと英語をという事が出来ません。回答にある事をしっかりと覚えていきたいと思います、ありがとうございます。

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