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英作文の添削をお願いします!

私の意見では、現在の若者は性別を問わず自分で調理できることが大切である。料理を おいしく仕上げるためには豊かな想像力や手先の器用さが要求されるので、心身の健康 にとてもよい。食材に意識的になれば自然への関心も高まる。さらに、料理で友人を もてなすことができると、あるいは人と共同して料理ができると、絆が深まることは間違いない。 In my opinion, in spite of gender, it is important for young people nowadays to be able to cook well by themselves. It is good for both your mind and body because it needs good imagination or skills with your hand. If you are glad to know ingredients of your food, you will be more interested in nature. Moreover, if you are able to make friends enjoy with your dishes or to cook with some people, you must be more familiar with each other. enjoy with your dishes のwith はby にかえても問題ないでしょうか 他にも間違いはあるかもしれませんが、回答よろしくおねがいします

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  • aaoott
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In my opinion, it is necessary for young people to cook by themselves regardless of the gender. Because good imagination and dexterity (skills with fingers) are required to make your dish delicious, cooking is good for both physical and mental health. If you are aware of ingredients, you will be increasingly interested in the nature. Also, if you treat your friends with your dishes or cook together with your friends, the relationship between you and your friend will be closer than before. 日本語が悪いときは、意味を補ったり、文章を修正してから訳す必要があります。

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回答ありがとうございます。 まずは日本語をわかりやすい日本語に直すことの練習をしたいと思います。

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