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フランケンシュタインの訳

I was born at Geneva of a very distinguished family. My father who had always devoted his life to public affairs,was no longer a young man when he married. My mother was the daughter of one of his old friends, Mister Beaufort, who had lost his fortune and had gone away to live far from the city where he had once been a wealthy man. When my father learned of his frend’s misfortune and finally found his new home, alas, he had recently died, leaving his young daughter Caroline alone and penniless. My father took her back to Geneva and placed her under the protection of a relative. Two years later she became his wife. この文書なのですがうまく訳せないのでわかる方翻訳お願いします!! ちなみに自分で訳した文は 私はジュネーブで大変名高い家に生まれました。私の父はいつも公務のために人生を掲げていて、結婚したとき彼はもう若くはなかった。母は彼の旧友(ボーフォート氏)のうちの1人の娘でした。そして、その人は彼の富を失って、彼がかつて裕福な男性であった都市から遠く生きるために去りました。父が友達の不幸について知って、ついに彼の新しい家を見つけたとき、彼は最近死にました。そして、彼の若い娘キャロラインを孤独で文無しのままでした。私の父は、彼女をジュネーブに戻して、親戚の家に預けました。2年後に、彼女は彼の妻になりました。

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  • nawata
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(1)alas の訳が抜けていますね。「悲しいかな」「不幸にも」 (2)「彼は最近死にました」はちょっといけません。大過去です。「...見つけたとき、彼はちょっと前に死んでいました」 (3)次の行は日本語がちょっとおかしいです。「彼の若い娘キャロライはひとりっきりで文無しになりました」くらいに。「ままでした」は "still" とか "remained" でしょう。

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  • 回答No.2
noname#73834
noname#73834

「人生を掲げていて」とは言いませんね、日本では。 100%「人生を捧げる」です。 あと「彼がかつて裕福な男性であった都市から遠く生きるために去りました」は、イラッとさせます。 「かつて裕福に暮らしていた町を去り、遠く離れたところで生活していました」――これはもう日本語のセンス如何です。 ついでにいうと、「そして」を2回使っちゃっていますよね。どっちも要らないです。 まあ、でも、あなたは充分うまく訳せていますよ。 どうぞ、頑張ってください――いつでも気楽に。

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