以下の英文について教えてください
The mournful truth that a man — every man-must die alone, had been thrust sharply into my mind and kept there by the frequent violent attacks of my malady I suffered at that time, every one of which threatened to be the last.
（中略）
Then my mother died. Her perfect health failed her suddenly, and her decline was not long. But she suffered much, and on the last occasion of my being with her at her bedside she told me that she was very tired and had no fear of death, and would be glad to go but for the thought of leaving me in such a precarious state of health and with a mind distressed. Even then she put no questions to me, but only expressed the hope that her prayers for me would be answered and that at the last we should be together again.
I cannot say, as I might say in the case of any other relation or friend, that I had lost her.
（中略）
It came to me as a great surprise a few years ago to have my secret and most cherished feelings about my own mother expressed to me as I had never heard them expressed before by a friend who, albeit still young, has made himself a name in the world, one who had never known a mother, she having died during his infancy.
＜最後のIt came to me～の英文について＞：
It came to me as a great surprise a few years ago～のasは「～として」ですか？
as I had never heard them expressed ～のasは「～のように」ですか？
（themはmy secret and most cherished feelings ？）
my own mother expressed to me as I had never heard them expressed before by a friend のところの意味がよくわからないのですが、
expressedの取り方は、
my own mother expressed to me私自身の母親が私に表現した、
I had never heard them expressed私はそれらが表現されるのを決して聞いたことがない、
ですか？
she having died during his infancyここは独立分詞構文で、「彼女は彼の幼年時代に亡くなってしまったので」？
----Far Away and Long Ago :W.H.Hudson
お礼
ご丁寧にありがとうございます。 実は結論から言うと、どちらもよろしくないんです。 タイミング悪く、質問を投稿したすぐあとに判明したのですが・・・ (a)は文法的には合っているが、こういうセンテンスでは、"living"とネイティブスピーカーは言わない。 (b)は(a)よりもいいが、何か具体的でなく、情報に欠けている感じがする。（her friendがどこに住んでいるかが、ぱっと聞いた感じわからない） 一番ナチュラルに聞こえるのは、 She said she had visited her friend who lives near my house. とのことです・・・。（カナダ人ネイティブスピーカー談） でも、文法的なアプローチは参考になりました。 ありがとうございます。