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訳の添削とわからない個所について 1

John Galsworthyという作家の『THE CHOICE』という物語の英文を訳しました。 添削と、わからない個所を教えてください。 *He was a Cornishman by birth, had been a plumber by trade, and was a cheerful, independent old fellow with ruddy cheeks, grey hair and beard, and little, bright, rather watery, grey eyes. 彼は生まれはコーンウォール人でした。彼の商売は配管工で、朗らかで、血色の好い頬、白髪とあごひげ、少し明るい、むしろ薄い灰色の目を持った自尊心の強い老翁でした。 *But he was a great sufferer from a variety of ailments. He had gout, and some trouble in his side, and feet that were like barometers in their susceptibility to weather. しかし彼は非常にいろいろな病気で苦しむ人でした。彼は痛風と若干の悩みと天気に感じやすいバロメーターのような足を持っていました。 (1)  some trouble in his sideのin his sideの個所の訳し方がよくわかりませんでした。 *Of all these matters he would speak to us in a very impersonal and uncomplaining way, diagnosing himself, as it were, for the benefit of his listeners. 彼は自分自身を診断して、まるで傾聴者のために、とても客観的で不満を言わない流儀で私たちにそれらの事柄について話したものでした。 (2) Of all these matters he would speak to us   ここは  he would speak of all these matters to usですか? よろしくお願い致します。

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  • bakansky
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> He was a Cornishman by birth, had been a plumber by trade, and was a cheerful, independent old fellow with ruddy cheeks, grey hair and beard, and little, bright, rather watery, grey eyes. > 彼は生まれはコーンウォール人でした。彼の商売は配管工で、朗らかで、血色の好い頬、白髪とあごひげ、少し明るい、むしろ薄い灰色の目を持った自尊心の強い老翁でした。  * and little, bright, ... eyes とあるので、little は 「小さな」 ではないかと思います。「少し明るい」 ではなくて、「小さな、きらきらした ... 目の持ち主だった」 みたいな。  * watery eyes は、この部分だけを見る限りでは、「涙ぐんだように見える目」 と読めます。  * independent は、ひょっとしたら、彼は子供の世話になっていない、すなわち自分で自分の生計を立てて暮らしている、という意味での 「独立している」 なのかもしれません。  → 彼はコーンウォールの生まれで、配管工として生業(なりわい)を立てていて、性格は陽気で、独立心に富んだ老人で、頬は血色が良いが、髪の毛と髭は白く、小さめのきらきらした、やや涙ぐんでいるようにも見える灰色の目をしていた。 > But he was a great sufferer from a variety of ailments. He had gout, and some trouble in his side, and feet that were like barometers in their susceptibility to weather. > しかし彼は非常にいろいろな病気で苦しむ人でした。彼は痛風と若干の悩みと天気に感じやすいバロメーターのような足を持っていました。  * 痛風の症状を述べている文として読むと、in his side の side は 「彼の体」 と解するのが自然ではないかという気がします。  → 彼は痛風持ちで、体のあちこちが痛み、足ときたら敏感に天気の変化を感じとる晴雨計みたいなものだった。 > Of all these matters he would speak to us in a very impersonal and uncomplaining way, diagnosing himself, as it were, for the benefit of his listeners. > 彼は自分自身を診断して、まるで傾聴者のために、とても客観的で不満を言わない流儀で私たちにそれらの事柄について話したものでした。  * Of all these matters he would speak to us = he would speak of all these matters to us ではないだろうかというのは、ご指摘のとおりと思います。  * for the benefit of ... は、聞き手に対して恩着せがましい態度を表現しているようにも想像されました。  → 自分の痛風の苦しみについて、彼はまるで他人事のように、愚痴としてではなく、自分を客観的に診察しているかのように、いわば、聞かせてやっているんだといわんばかりの調子で語った。 * 解釈には私の独断が入っている可能性があります。そういうふうに解釈してみたということでしかありません。

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大変丁寧に添削して頂き、また全部の訳を示して頂いてありがとうございました。とても勉強になりました。

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  • d-y
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little, bright, rather watery, grey eyes 小さくて、明るい、やや潤んだ、灰色の目 some trouble in his side 脇(脇腹)に悪いところがある Of all matters, he would speak to us おっしゃる通り。 これらの全てのことを、彼は我々に話したものだ。

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