質問の内英語日記６ マイナス思考とは？？

質問

すいませんが最近英語力のライティングをあげようと英作文をまいにち書くようにしてます。
レベルのひくい英作文ではずかしいのですが。できれば文法や細かい間違いを指摘して頂けると幸いです。

What is the negative thinking??

As my opinion .There are many people who tend to take things too seriously.
I am also one of them. Do you know depression?? It is prevailing all over the world, which is a big problem now. Japan is especially more than other countries. Sometimes some people in a depressed state decide to commit suicide. And I can think from these things .We need to help each other if you have some troubles. The world is going to develop rapidly. However, humans will be never able to live alone.

内容は気にしないでください

回答No.1

bookaholic · ベストアンサー

As my opinion .
→ In my opinion,
→ in を使うのが一般的かと思います。そして、コンマ。

There are many people who tend to take things too seriously.
→ there are ... 文はこれで良いと思うのですが、前の文と続けて、小文字で始める。

Japan is especially more than other countries.
→ especially for Japan.
→前の部分をコンマで終わらせて、こうして短く繋いだらどうでしょうか。

Sometimes some people in a depressed state decide to commit suicide.
→ Some times some people in depressed state .....
→ some が主語なので、a はいらない。ただし state は単数で「状態」を表すので、state のままでよい。

And I can think from these things .
→これだと目的語がなくて中途半端な感じなので、次の文と接続詞でつなげたらどうでしょうか？
→ From these things, I think that we need to help .....

We need to help each other if you have some troubles.
→ if we have ....
→最初の主語を we にしてるので、後半も we が良いと思います。

However, humans will be never able to live alone.
→ humans will never be able to ...
→ never はnot と同じ位置。

あとは（ほとんどの部分ですが）良いと思います。
ご参考まで。