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英語日記18 俺の性格

今回は自分の性格を書いてみました。若干リアルに悩んでることです。 すこし今回はあなたの意見もきいてみたいです。 次回は海外に住む日本人女性について書いてみようとおもいます。海外にすむ日本女性を徹底分析します。 すいませんが最近英語力のライティングをあげようと英作文をまいにち書くようにしてます。 レベルのひくい英作文ではずかしいのですが。できれば文法や細かい間違いを指摘して頂けると幸いです Today, I want to explain my character personality to you. In a world, I am always care about other people because I really hate broke out with some relationship. It may be common thing for Japanese. Someone said that you don’t need to care about that too much, but is it true or not true?? I cant determine the way which is right way. What do you think about it?? so I sometimes really tired of thinking about that. We have been taught to have to worry about others for a long time. For example, My mom always said “you have to study hard, if you cant study hard, you will be laughed by other guys” so I have a question. Why are you study something?? Is it because you don’t want to be laughed by others that you study something hard?? Anyway, I am sorry for the story a little wandered. I don’t know my personality. Someone don’t like me and like me. Is that fine?? I always want to be liked with everyone. What do you think about it?? is that a foolish notion??

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  • 回答No.1
  • tokking
  • ベストアンサー率57% (408/707)

In a world, I am always care about other people because I really hate broke out with some relationship. 〈ある世界で、私はいつも他の人達のことを気にしている、なぜなら私はいくつかの関係を失くすのが本当に嫌いだからです〉直訳 I always keep in touch with other people becaruse I hate to break up the relationships with anyone else(all over the world 又は in the world もしくは everywhere in this world など). 〈世界中どこでも、私はいつも他の人達と繋がっている(仲良くしてる)、なぜなら私は誰であろうと関係を壊すのは嫌いだからです〉直訳 in a world=とある世界(間違いではありませんが、世界中、という意味合いには合わない) Someone said that 〈you〉〈don’t〉 need to care about that too much,〈but is it true or not true??〉 ↓ Someone said that 〈I〉 〈didn't〉 need to care about too much. 〈Is it true or not?〉 (誰かが‘貴方自身=ここでは貴方は I’に言ってること。you だともっと誰か他の人へになるので) (時制を一致させた方がより正確です) (2文にした方が、より言いたいことが的確に伝わります。trueは2つ重ねないのが通常です) We have been taught to have to worry about others for a long time. ↓ We have been taught that we have to worry about otheres for a long time. もしくは ↓ We have been taught to worry about others for a long time. (to+動詞 to+動詞 の文章は間違いです。意味が違ってくるでなく意味をなしません。have to worry はずっと教えられてきて‘今も’心配しなければなので現在形) I am sorry for the story a little wandered. ↓ I am sorry for my story is a little wandered. (あくまでも‘私の話’を記述してきたので。wanderedの場合は受動態でbe動詞必要) ↓ I am afraid of my story is a little wandered. (sorry=ごめんなさい・残念、より通常はafraidが自然です) I always want to be liked 〈with〉 everyone. → I always want to be liked 〈by〉everyone. ↓ I always want everybody likes me. (上記でも大丈夫ですが、強調したいのは‘みんなに好かれてたい’受動態にすると堅苦しくまどろっこしくなるのであまり使わないです) 《ex.》I want someone loves me.     I want to be loved someone(古典っぽい) Today, I'd like to let you know about myself and its personality. First, I always want to keep a good relationship with every person everywhere in the world. It should be a common thought of Japanese people however it might be only my own opinion. Some people tell me not to be serious too much about this thus it sometimes makes me confuse and feel tired of considering my thought deeply. My mother always told me to study hard not to be laughed by other people. Unfortunately,I still can't catch in the exact meaning she mentioned. It's nice to feel everybody likes me though it happens rarely. I'd like to know other people care about such matters or not. Perhaps, I have not realized real personality of myself yet. I need lots of people's thoughts and opinions about my announcement. Many kinds of different ways of viewing would be very thankful to me. 原文からかなりかけ離れてしまったので参考になるかどうかです。 捉え方として、これは貴方の考え方を述べている(説明します=explainと自身で書いてる) 内容になるので、character=性格、よりはpersonality=人柄、opinion・thought=意見・考え、を あくまでもI=貴方、を中心にしての構文。 この文章は‘不特定多数’に読ませるのか、誰かへの手紙のようなものか、日記のようなものかが ゴチャ混ぜになっているので、誰に・何に対して発してるのかをはっきりさせると読みやすくなると思いました。 書き換えてしまった文章は‘意’を汲み取ってのブログやFACE BOOKなどへの書き込みみたいな。 最初の1行と末2行を省けば、誰かへと限らず、自分が日々思ったことを綴ってるような。

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その他の回答 (1)

  • 回答No.2
  • tokking
  • ベストアンサー率57% (408/707)

#1です。 気になってしまう箇所があり、でも間違いではなかったので触れませんでしたが。 Today, I want to explain my <character personality> <to you>. (違和感があります) ↓ Today. I want to explain <to you> you> my <character and personality>. ↓ Today, I want to explain <you> my <personal character>. (この場合のto you語尾に持ってくると‘あなたへ対する私の性格、人柄を説明したい’とも捉えられてしまう) (characterとpersonalityはどちらも名詞なので上記のように‘性格 と 人となり’、もしくは3文目‘個人的な性格’personal形容詞にするとやや自然。  文章全体からcharacterは不要かとも。自分の‘考え’を記述してるので`my personality'`my personal thought'`my personal thinking'など  characterは、もっと‘全体的な性格’の意味合いになります) explain=説明する、他に`say'`tell'など誰かに働きかけるための単語は、伝えたい内容に拠って to~を語尾の置く場合もあります。 《ex.》 She expalained (to) her boyfriend the reason of her good-bye.      She explained the reason of her good-bye to her boy friend.     (上は‘さよならの理由を説明した’を強調、下は‘彼に対して説明した’を強調)      Teacher is going to explain (to) the class about today's lessons.      Teacher is going to explain about today's lessons to the class.      Please, explain (to) me why I have to study hard.      Please, explain why I have to study hard to me. 上手くexplain=説明できないのですが、上記並んだ文章を見比べて‘声に出して発音’してみて下さい。 また、explainの代わりに`say'`tell'を当てはめてみて下さい。 toを括弧にしてあるのは‘誰かに’がわかればよければ不必要なので。   基本的に、自分が書いた文章を‘音読’すること。流れ・リズムに乗ってるか? 伝えたい部分を強調できるか(アクセント)? 文章の記述に関しては、文語から発生してる日本語と同じだと思います。厳密には間違っていないけど、何となく心地悪い響きは 単語を入れ替えたりできる部分は入れ替えや置き換えするということです。 作文する際に必要なことは、(私は恐怖の長文女ですが 笑)‘なるべく無駄な修飾語や形容詞は省く。 いかに短いセンテンスで伝えるか? 日本語の文法直訳的なことから離れて‘英語的’になってしまえば文体も軽くなると思えます。   文法は会得してらっしゃってさらに活きた英語を習得されているようすので、これまた‘細かいこと’は自然と身につきます。   中途半端なたくさんのお節介失礼しましたm(_)m(_)m(_)m  

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