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自由英作文の添削お願いします。

2007年の早稲田大学法学部の問題です。 Students at many universities in Japan are required to study a foreign language, usually English. Some universities require students to study more than one foreign language. Some people say universities should not require students to study a foreign language at all. Which do you think is the best policy? Write a paragraph explaining your opinion. Give at least one appropriate reason to support your answer. I agree with the request for students to study more than one foreign language.This is because not only japan but also other countrise all over the world have been heading for the globarization and foreign languages,especially English have been getting more and more important.If they don’t learn more than one language at their college,they may be left from international society.It is true that foreign languages are not necessary to some of them.However,they should not ignore the fact that there are international disputs around the world.So,they need to study foreign languages so that they can understand other countrise. 合格点(6,7割)を目指しているのですが、この程度ではやはり程遠いでしょうか? アドバイスや感想などありましたらよろしくお願いします。

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  • jo_uni
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社会科学部4年生です。その試験自分も受けました(笑) 残念ながら落ちましたが・・・。 まず赤本を90分間はかってといてみましたか? 自由英作文でそんなに書けませんよ? ここへの時間の割り当ては15分くらいでしょう。 そうだとすると、もっとコンパクトにしなきゃです。 まずは自分の意見を述べ、 次に根拠をもっと簡潔に。 そしてそれについて具体的に説得。 時間があれば、自分の意見に対する批判を紹介して、 次にこの批判に対して反論する。 最後に結論を持ってくる。 ちなみに英語の話に限定してしまってOKです。 1.I agree with 以下はそのままでOK。 2.This is because以下はちょっとおかしいです。 other country have been heading for foreign language←ここが変です。 そしてもっと簡潔にする必要があります。 英語の重要性について論じるために、国際化が進行していると言及しましょう。 →This is because as the globalization progresses English is more and more important. 3.It is true=いわゆる譲歩について。 ここでは英語が不要だという意見を紹介しますね。 It is true that in ordinary life English is not always necessary. 4.これに対する反論 However,they are not aware of the international common sense. 5.結論 Therefore, It's indispensable to learn English at Universities. http://jbbs.livedoor.jp/bbs/read.cgi/school/21722/1296423375/968 一応自分の英語力ですが、TOEIC800点超えてて大手の海外勤務になる予定です。

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