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JOKEの落ちがわからない
次のJOKEの落ちがわかりません..だれか教えて << Harley Davidson >> Little John was sitting in the courtyard turning a bottle of liquid back and forth, watching the bubbles. The Priest walked up and asked him what he was doing? Little John replied, "I'm looking at the most powerful liquid in the world. " The Priest said, "But John, Holy Water is the most powerful liquid in the world. Did you know that if you put Holy Water on a pregnant woman's belly, she will pass a boy!" Little John said, "Big deal! If you put this on a cat's ass, he'll pass a Harley Davidson..."
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- 面白くないジョークその2
以下のジョーク、何が言いたいのでしょう。 3番目のクリーニング屋は現実的だ、ですか? 大風呂敷を広げてもしょうがない、でしょうか? There were three dry-cleaning shops on one block in a big city. Competition for business was quite fierce, so one day, one of the shops put up a big sign in the front window. Best Dry Cleaners in the city. About a week later, the second shop blossomed forth with a an even bigger sign. Best Dry Cleaners in the world. And a week after that, the third shop put up a modest little sign that said: Best Dry -Cleaners on the block.
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- 英語
- ジョークの意味が分かりません
Gotta love us seniors During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, " How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?" "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.." "No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?" ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON . OR DO YOU WANT T H E BED NEXT TO MINE? : 上記の英文の最後の方で、 Do you want a bed near the window?と OR DO YOU WANT T H E BED NEXT TO MINE? ですが、ベッドや窓、私の隣にベッドなど何を言いたいのか分かりません。 分かる方解説をお願いします。宜しく。
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- 英語
- アメリカンジョークのオチを教えて!
最近、アメリカンジョークのサイトをみて回ってるのですが、 なかなかオチがわからくて困っております。 もしわかるかたは以下のジョークのオチを教えてくれませんか? The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant. "I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time." よろしくおねがいします。
- 締切済み
- 英語
- 英語のジョークと訳教えてください!
An 'F' In Sex A seven-year-old child returned from her first day in a new class sobbing bitterly.Her mother asked her what the problem was.The little girl showed her mother a form, listing her name, address, class,sex,etc.'Mommy, look,' she cried, pointing to the form.'they gave me an 'F' in sex and I didn't even learn about it yet!' Simple Reason Concerned, a man took his Rottweiler to the veterinarian.'My dog's cross-eyed,'he said.'Is there something you can do for him?' 'Let's have a look at him,' said the vet, lifting the dog up to examine his eyes.'I'm going to have to put him down,'he finally said.'Just because he's cross-eyed?' exclaimed the alarmed pet owner. 'No,' said the vet.'Because he's heavy.' 宜しくお願いします!!
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- ジョーク解説my body's a temple
John: It's time you started taking vitamins, Garfield Garfield: No way, pal. My body's a temple John: I put them in this lasagna Garfield: Even a temple needs his vitamin C ガーフィールドという漫画ででてきた英文ですが、My body's a templeとは、何でしょうか?「私の体はお寺だぞ。」→「神聖な体に野菜なんて奉納できるかい。」→「美味しいもの以外は口に入れたくない。 自分を大切にしたいから。」というニュアンスでしょうか? templeのここでのニュアンスを教えてください。( ガーフールドは、ネコで、Johnは飼い主です。) お願いします。
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- 英語
- Sex joke ですが オチの英文が理解不能
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”は母親の言葉ですか?どういう意味でしょうか? Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" ここの所の構文と意味がよく分かりません。解説を。 A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!” with one of theseとは幼女の性器を指していると思うのですが、何故with this じゃなくてwith one of theseになるのでしょう? these とは何ですか? 以上宜しくお願いします。
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- 英語
- このジョークの意味She's breathing
John:That Liz is sure a great looking hunk of veterinarian. She has the one quality I desire most in a woman. Garfield: She's breathing. ジョンはガーフィールドの飼い主で、犬猫病院で獣医にうつつをぬかしている場面です。 ガーフィールドは、「彼女は息をしている。」と言っているのだとしたら、意味が分かりません。 本当の意味を教えてください、よろしくお願いします。
- ベストアンサー
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(1)Nightcap While traveling in Europe, Mark Twain assured a customs inspector that his luggage contained nothing but clothing. The inspector opened one suitcase and found a bottle of bourbon inside. ' I thought you said there was only clothing in here, ' the customs man said. ' I did, ' Twain replied.'You're looking at my nightcap!' nightcap=1 a soft cloth cap worn in bed in former times 2 an alcoholic drink taken before going to bed (2)Different Premises Two men were walking down the street when they noticed two women yelling at each other from their apartment windows on opposite sides of the street. ' They'll never reach agreement,' said one of the men. 'What makes you think that?' asked the other. 'Because they're arguing from different premises.' premise=1 a statement or idea on which reasoning is based 2 a house or building with its ground 2の意味ではつねにpremises (3)Bank A teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. 'Here is the situation,' she said. 'A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing.He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down the bank.Why do you think she ran to the 'bank?' A girls raised her band and asked,'To draw out all of his savings?' Commotion=confusion; excitement; a viloent movement よろしくお願いします!
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Taboo Word Prepairing for the most important presentation of his life, a sales rep went to his psychiatrist and asked for help. 'I'll implant a hypnotic suggestion in your mind,'said the psychiatrist.'Just say 'One-two-three,' and you'll give the most brilliant presentation of your life. However, don't say 'one-two-three-four,' because if anyone says that, you'll freeze up, lose your train of thought and make a complete fool of yourself.' The sales rep was ecstatic.He tried it at home and gave his family a fabulous presentation.He tried it at work, and his colleagues replied with a standing ovation. Then came the big day. Everything was set up in the boardroom and the CEO signalled him to start.The sales rep whispered under his breath, 'One-two-three.' Then the CEO asked,'What did you say 'one-two-three' for? 宜しくお願いします!!
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- 英語
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1.She said,"I'm looking forward to the party." 2.He said to Bill, "I'll get all the gas you need." 3.He said to me, "How did you know that?" 4.John said to me, "Will you talk in English this afternoon?" 5.Mary said, "What a beautiful day it is!" この五つを直接話法から間接話法に変換してほしいのですが、特に3が全く想像がつかない(考えが及ばない)ので困っています。教えてください、お願いします。
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