How to Protect Your Feelings Without Having Sex? | Polite Ways to End a Sexual Encounter

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  • Unlearning the message that you are responsible, as a woman, for making a man feel always comfortable is the work of a lifetime! There are dozens of ways to politely stop a sexual encounter: “Thanks for a nice evening, but I’m not feeling a connection, so I’m going to go home”; “I’m not comfortable with this anymore; let’s stop”; “I’m not coming in, good night.” The bigger problem is overriding the voice in your brain that says you can't speak up for yourself without hurting someone's feelings or damaging their pride.
  • 「I’m going to go home」と「I will go home」は同じ意味であり、将来の予定を表現する際に使われます。「I'm going home」は現在進行形であり、今から帰ることを意味します。
  • 「I’m not coming in」は、内部に入ることを断る表現です。つまり、性行為を拒否して外にいることを意味します。
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I have more than once had sex, or gone further than I was really comfortable going with men, for the sake of preserving their feelings, or because I felt I had already taken things too far to back out. Almost all of my female friends have a similar story. How do I convince myself that I don’t need to have sex with someone to protect their feelings? And how do I find the words to politely end a sexual encounter after I become uncomfortable? —Opting Out (相談に対する回答)Unlearning the message that you are responsible, as a woman, for making a man feel always comfortable is the work of a lifetime! The language itself is fairly simple and straightforward. There are dozens of ways to politely stop a sexual encounter: “Thanks for a nice evening, but I’m not feeling a connection, so I’m going to go home”; “I’m not comfortable with this anymore; let’s stop”; “I’m not coming in, good night.” The bigger problem, which you’ve already identified, is overriding the voice in your brain that says Oh my God, I couldn’t possibly say that, even if it were true. He’d be so offended, and I’d hurt his pride, and what if he tried to point out that I seemed to be having a good time earlier? 1 I’m going to go homeはI will go homeまたはI'm going homeとも言えるでしょうか?違いは何でしょうか? 2 I’m not coming in,はどのような意味でしょうか? 3 overriding the voiceはどのような意味でしょうか? 以上、よろしくお願いします

  • corta
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  • Nakay702
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回答No.2

>1 I’m going to go homeはI will go homeまたはI'm going homeとも言えるでしょうか? ⇒はい、すべて言えると思います。 >違いは何でしょうか? ⇒「(セックスをやんわりと断る方法はたくさんあります。“すてきな夜をありがとう、でも私セックスをしたいとは思わないのよ。だから) I’m going to go home:家へ帰る予定よ” I will go home:家へ帰るつもりよ” I'm going home:家へ帰るわ”」。 >2 I’m not coming in,はどのような意味でしょうか? ⇒「ゴールインはやめときましょうね、(おやすみ)」 と、暗示的な表現come in「ゴールインする」を使って、「セックスを婉曲に断る」ための表現ですね。 >3 overriding the voiceはどのような意味でしょうか? ⇒「声に打ち勝つこと」。 ☆「(より大きな問題は、すでにお分かりのように、“ああ、たとえ真実でもそんなことはとても言えないわ”、というあなたの内なる)声に打ち勝つこと(打ち勝ってそう伝えること)です」。

corta
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  • SPS700
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回答No.1

1 I’m going to go homeはI will go homeまたはI'm going homeとも言えるでしょうか?  言えます。 違いは何でしょうか?  I will go homeまたはI'm going home だと、何か答える隙をピッタリ全部塞ぐ感じ、I’m going to go home は少し開けておく感じです。  日本語で言えば「わたし帰る」対「帰るよ」の違いに似ていて、まだ言い方でも意味は微妙に変わりますが文字の上では、あまりわからないと思います。  2 I’m not coming in,はどのような意味でしょうか?  あなたの領域(家、アパート)、あるいはあなたのいるベッド、に今夜は入る気は無い、と両方かけた表現だと思います。 3 overriding the voiceはどのような意味でしょうか?  (あなたの心の中での「そんなこと言えない」という)声に打ち勝って(=そういう衝動を抑えて)という意味でしょう。  

corta
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