英語日記２６(2) 特別編

質問

えいご日記２６が長すぎたので少し分割して投稿させていただきます！！
みなさん回答お願いいたしまーす。実体験なんですが・・・

すいませんが最近英語力のライティングをあげようと英作文をまいにち書くようにしてます。
レベルのひくい英作文ではずかしいのですが。できれば文法や細かい間違いを指摘して頂けると幸いです。　ものすごく長くなって申し訳ございません。もし時間があるならお願いいたします。

He always said that he love person who always keep making effort and I don’t care of good player or no. however I know this is not true !!
I practiced most in my team but he didn’t use me in soccer match. This is because there are many better players than me. I often wanted give up but if I give up the soccer, I guess that I would always give up something if I had troubles.
Anyway I didn’t give up soccer and I had kept practicing hard. I always come back at home late. It may be at 10 pm, so I couldn’t study but I think that I spend the happiest time in my life. I made a lot of friends as well.

↓(1)のやつです気にしないでください。(笑)
私はやってることがうまく行くまであきらめません。 私は一つのことを続けることがきらいではありません。ゴールに向かって努力を続けることができます。
この話は私が高校生の時で私はさっかー部でしたがそこにはたくさんの上手な選手がいました。なぜなら私の高校はさっかーで有名でした。実際私は高校からサッカーを始めました。なぜなら中学まで野球をしていたからです。もちろん最小はうまくできませんでした。なので高校１年生の時は常にボール拾いでした。また監督は私の名前さえ知りませんでしたなぜならへたくそだからです。この経験はサッカーに限りません

↓ここからです！！
監督は常に努力を続ける人が好きだといってました。しかしこれはじじつではありません。
私はチームで一番練習しました。けど監督は私を試合につかいませんでした。なぜなら私よりうまい選手がいるからです。何度もやめたいと思ったことはありました。けどもし、さっかーを辞めると、多分私はいつも何かすぐに辞めてしまうと思います。もしなにかトラブルに会うと。とにかく私はサッカーを辞めずに練習を続けました。もしかしたら１０ごろまで練習してました。だから勉強はできませんでした。けど私の人生で一番幸せでした。友達もたくさん作りました。

回答No.1

cbm51910 · ベストアンサー

He always said that he love person who always keep making effort and I don’t care of good player or no. however I know this is not true !
[My manager had always said that he respected those who always kept making an effort, and that he didn't care whether the player was good or not.]
→ 再び高校時代のサッカーの話に戻るので、"He" ではなく "The manager" としましょう。
→ "had always said" 過去の過去なので過去完了を使用します。
→ "love" × "respect" ○
→ "I don't care" ⇒ "he didn't care" （三人称でスタートしたものがいきなり一人称になるのは変です）

however I know this is not true !
[However this was not the case!]
→ "this was not the case" ＝ 「それは事実ではなかった」

I practiced most in my team but he didn’t use me in soccer match.
[I practiced the most in my team but he didn't select me for the matches.]
→ サッカーの事を話しているので敢えて "in soccer match" とはせず、"in the matches" （複数）

This is because there are many better players than me.
[This was because there were many players who were better than me.]
→ "is" ⇒ "was" 　"are" ⇒ "were" （過去形）

I often wanted give up but if I give up the soccer, I guess that I would always give up something if I had troubles.
[I thought of giving up soccer often, but if I gave it up, I knew it would become a habit and I would always give up something when faced with difficulties.]
→ "thought of" ＝ "think of" の過去形 ＝ 「～と思った」
→ "become a habit" ＝ 「くせになる」
→ "faced with" ＝ 「直面すると」

Anyway I didn’t give up soccer and I had kept practicing hard. I always come back at home late. It may be at 10 pm
[Anyway I didn't give up soccer and I kept practicing hard, always cominng home late, may be at 10 p.m.]
→ ここは敢えて過去完了にする必要はありません。
→ つなげた方がすっきりすると思います。

so I couldn’t study but I think that I spend the happiest time in my life.
[So I couldn’t study very much but I think that was the happiest time in my life.]

I made a lot of friends as well.
→ ＯＫです。

The manager had always said that he respected those who always kept making an effort, and that he didn't care whether the player was good or not. However this was not the case! I practiced the most in my team but he didn't select me for the matches. This was because there were many players who were better than me. I thought of giving up soccer often, but if I gave it up, I knew it would become a habit and I would always give up something when faced with difficulties. Anyway I didn't give up soccer and I kept practicing hard, always cominng home late, may be at 10 p.m. So I couldn’t study very much but I think that was the happiest time in my life. I made a lot of friends as well.