正しいかどうか？ 英文と日本語訳の比較
- ニューヨークの公立高校での経験について不満を抱いていた日本人大学院生の話。
- 彼の英語力のために実力より下のクラスに配置されていた。
- 彼のクラスメートは勉強よりもトラブルを起こすことに興味があった。
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英文と日本語訳があります。和訳は正しいですか？
A Japanese graduate student who I interviewed at Stanford told me that he had been unhappy with his classmates and teachers when he attended a large public high school in New York years ago. During the course of the interview, I figured out that he had probably been placed in a class lower than his actual academic ability because his English was not yet fluent. His classmates were more interested in creating trouble than in studying. He thanked me for helping him figure out his experiences after all those years. 英文翻訳 「私がスタンフォード大学でインタビューした、ある日本人大学院生は、彼が何年も前にニューヨークの大きな公立の高校に通っていた時、自分のクラスメートや先生たちについてずっと不満であった、と私に言った。インタビューをしていて考えた末に分かったのは、英語がまだ流暢ではなかったので実際の学力よりも低いクラスに彼は入れられていたのだろう、ということである。彼のクラスメートは、勉強をするのより悪さをするのにより関心があった。自分の経験がいったい何だったか、そのことが起こってもう何年も経ってから、彼が理解するのを私が助けたことを、彼は私に感謝した。」
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以下のとおりお答えします。完璧な訳文だと思いました。ですから、以下の★が改善になるかどうか、分かりません！（なるといいのですが…。） ＞A Japanese graduate student who I interviewed at Stanford told me that he had been unhappy with his classmates and teachers when he attended a large public high school in New York years ago. During the course of the interview, I figured out that he had probably been placed in a class lower than his actual academic ability because his English was not yet fluent. His classmates were more interested in creating trouble than in studying. He thanked me for helping him figure out his experiences after all those years. ＞「私がスタンフォード大学でインタビューした、ある日本人大学院生は、彼が何年も前にニューヨークの大きな公立の高校に通っていた時、自分のクラスメートや先生たちについてずっと不満であった、と私に言った。インタビューをしていて考えた末に分かったのは、英語がまだ流暢ではなかったので実際の学力よりも低いクラスに彼は入れられていたのだろう、ということである。彼のクラスメートは、勉強をするのより悪さをするのにより関心があった。自分の経験がいったい何だったか、そのことが起こってもう何年も経ってから、彼が理解するのを私が助けたことを、彼は私に感謝した。」 ★told me that he had been unhappy with his classmates and teachers：「自分のクラスメートや先生たちについてずっと不満であった、と私に語った」。「言った」→「語った」（おっと、取り上げるほどのことではありませんでした！）。 ★when he attended a large public high school in New York years ago：「彼が何年か前にニューヨークの大きな公立高校に通っていた時」。「何年も前」→「何年か前／数年前」。前にも同じようなことを言った気がします。「高校→大学院」でなく、「高校→中年」くらいなら、「何年も前」もアリでしょうが…。 ★During the course of the interview, I figured out that ～：「インタビューをしていて考えた末に分かったのは～、」→「インタビューをしている間に分かったのは、～」。「考えた末に」を取ればいいだけかも知れません。 ★His classmates were more interested in creating trouble than in studying.：「彼のクラスメートは、勉強をするのより悪さをするのにより関心があった」→「彼のクラスメートは、勉強することより悪さをする／ワル騒ぎをすることにより強い関心があった」。 ★He thanked me for helping him figure out his experiences after all those years.：「彼は私に、何年も経ってから自分の経験が何だったのか／自分の経験したことの意味を、私の手伝いで理解できたことを感謝した」。 ⇒「私がスタンフォード大学でインタビューした、ある日本人大学院生は、彼が数年前にニューヨークの大きな公立高校に通っていた時、自分のクラスメートや先生たちについてずっと不満であった、と私に語った。インタビューをしている間に分かったのは、彼はまだ英語が流暢でなかったので、実際の学力よりも低いクラスに入れられていたのだろう、ということである。彼のクラスメートは、勉強することよりワル騒ぎをすることにより強い関心があった。彼は私に、何年も経ってから自分の経験したことの意味を、私の手伝いで理解できたことを感謝した。」
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