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長文を日本語に訳してください!

わからないとこが多すぎて全文日本語にお願いします。 Choose to Lose? Many factors influence the level of intimacy we enjoy in our relationships. The various decisions we make, and our behavior toward one another, are what foster closeness or drives us apart. These decisions are all under our control, although we are influenced by old patterns that we must work to change. The first decision we make about a relationship is the partner we choose. Whom we fall in love with determines the level of intimacy in our relationships, according to Ayala Malach Pines, Ph.D., who heads the behavioral sciences in management program at Ben-Gurion University in Israel. We often choose partners who remind us of significant people from our childhood--often our parents--and we set out to recreate the patterns of our childhood. Let's look at an example: Tara met Abe at a party. She was instantly attracted to the tall, lean man with a faraway look in his eyes. Abe, who had been standing alone, was delighted when Tara approached him with her open smile and outstretched hand. She was not only beautiful, but she struck him as warm and nurturing as well. The conversation between them flowed instantly. It felt comfortable and easy. Eventually, they fell in love, and after a year, they were married. At first things were wonderful. They had the kind of closeness Tara had always dreamed about with her father. Though she was sure he loved her, she never felt she had her father completely to herself. Even when he held her on his lap, he had a faraway look. But with Abe things were different. He was there with her completely. The intimacy between them also felt terrific to Abe. It was not the kind of suffocating closeness he always dreaded--the kind of intrusive closeness he experienced as a child with his mother, who used to enter his room uninvited and arrange his personal belongings with no regard to his privacy. But Tara was different. She did not intrude. But occasionally, Abe would come home from work tired and annoyed. All he wanted was a drink and to sit with the paper until he could calm down and relax. Seeing him that way, Tara would become concerned. "What is going on?" she would ask anxiously. "Nothing," he would answer. Sure that there was something very wrong, and assuming that it must be something about her or their marriage, Tara would insist that he tell her. She reminded him of his mother, and he responded the way he did with his mother: by withdrawing. To Tara, this felt similar to the way her father behaved. She responded in the same way she did when her father withdrew: by clinging. The struggle between them continued and became more and more intense over time, with Tara demanding more intimacy and Abe demanding more space.

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負けるほうを選ぶ? 多くの要因が、我々が人間関係で楽しむ親密さのレベルに影響します。我々が行う様々な決定、そして、お互いに対する我々のふるまいは、親密さを促進したり、あるいは、我々を別れさせたりするものです。我々は変えることに取り組まなければならない古いパターンによって影響されますが、これらの決定のすべてを我々はコントロールすることができます。 我々が人間関係についてする最初の決定は、我々が選ぶパートナーです。イスラエルのベングリオン大学で管理プログラムにおいて行動科学の先頭にたつアヤラ・マラク・パインズ博士によると、我々が誰と恋に落ちるかが、我々の人間関係の親密さのレベルを決定します。我々の幼児期の重要な人々 ― しばしば両親 ― を思い出させるパートナーを、我々は、しばしば、選びます、そして、我々は幼児期のパターンを再現しようと試みます。一例を見てみましょう: タラは、エイブにパーティーで出会いました。彼女は、目に遠くを見る様な表情を持つ、背が高い、やせた男性に、すぐに引きつけられました。エイブは、一人で立っていたのですが、タラが微笑をたっぷり浮かべ手をいっぱいに伸ばして彼に近づいた時、喜びました。彼女は美しいだけでなく、暖かくて育むもののように彼には思えました。彼らの間の会話は、すぐに途切れずに続きました。 それは、快適で楽な感じがしました。 結局、彼らは恋に落ちました、そして、1年後、彼らは結婚しました。 最初は、状況は素晴らしかったです。 タラが常に彼女の父に対して夢見たそういう親近感を、彼らは持ちました。父親が彼女を愛していると確信したけれども、彼女は彼女の父親を独占しているとは決して感じませんでした。ひざの上で彼女を抱いているときでも、父親は遠くを見るような表情をしていました。 しかし、エイブに関しては、状況は異なりました。 彼は、完全に彼女とそこにいました。 彼らの間の親密さは、エイブにとっても素晴らしいと感じました。それは、彼が常に恐れた窒息するような親近感でありませんでした-彼が彼の母親に関して子供の時に経験した侵入的な親近感と言った物ではなかったのです、つまり、彼の母親は、招かれないのによく彼の部屋に入り、彼のプライバシーを尊重せずに彼の個人の所有物を配置したものでした。しかし、タラは異なりました。 彼女は、侵入してくることはありませんでした。 しかし、時折、エイブは、疲れて、仕事から帰って来て、困ったものでした。彼が落ちついて、くつろぐことができるまで、彼が望んだものはただ、お酒を飲みながら、新聞を持って座ることでした。そのようにしている彼を見ると、タラは心配になったものです。「何かあったの?」と、彼女は心配して尋ねたものです。 「何もないよ」と、彼は答えます。とてもよくない何かがあったと確信して、また、それは彼らの結婚に関して彼女の側に何かあるに違いないと思い、タラは、彼が彼女に言ってくれるように主張します。彼女は彼に母親を思い出させました、そして、母親にとった方法で、彼は応えました: 引くことです。タラにとって、これは、彼女の父親がふるまった方法と類似していると感じました。彼女は、彼女の父が引いたとき、彼女がしたのと同様のやり方で、答えました: くっつくことです。彼らの争いは、続いて、時間とともにますます激しくなりました、タラは、より多くの親密さを求め、エイブは、より多くの間隔を求めるのです。

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