英語論文の添削

質問

以下の文が適切な文か添削してください。
　Applying the IBL players to flame works of the past sport labor migration studies, all of them can be considered as “Pioneers” because of contribution for diffusion of baseball to Israel as baseball barren (Maguire: 1996). On the other hand, the players who had professional experience participated in this league with a bad hiring condition because they were fired from another league. Considering about this situation, they should be regarded as “up-ward transaction players” (Chiba and Ebihara, 1999). Oppositely, the majority players who only had amateur experience can be seen as “up-ward transaction players” (Chiba and Ebihara, 1999). And they can be seem as “Mercenaries” (Maguire: 1996) because all the players spent two months training camp life in principle during the season and went back to their home countries soon after the tournament.
After basing these past studies, this paper classifies the IBL players into four types; “prospect” type as object for development of players and “baseball labor” type as necessary worker for that players development from developing countries, “vacation” type and “ego-seeking” type who participated for self-actualization from developed countries. Then this article illustrates that transformation about flame work of sport labor migration was found in the IBL by verifying some examples.

回答No.1

ohioan4506 · ベストアンサー

こんにちは。IBLは最初に略さず、正式名称を書いて、続いて（IBL）として、その後、IBLと表記します。

Applying the [IBLの正式名称] (IBL) players to flame works of the past sports labor migration studies, all of them can be considered as “Pioneers” because of contribution for diffusion of baseball to Israel as baseball barren (Maguire: 1996).

However, the players who had professional experiences joined this league should be regarded as “up-ward transaction players” because they were fired from another league, then hired from the IBL that paid less to them (Chiba and Ebihara, 1999).

The majority players who only had amateur experiences can be categorized as “up-ward transaction players” (Chiba and Ebihara, 1999) or “Mercenaries” (Maguire: 1996) because all the players spent two months training camp life in principle during the season and went back to their home countries soon after the tournament.

Based on these past studies, this paper classifies the IBL players into four types; “prospect”, a type as object for development of players, “baseball labor”, a type as a necessary worker for that players in development countries from developing countries, “vacation” type and “ego-seeking” type of players who participated for self-actualization from developed countries.

Then this article illustrates that transformation about flame work of sports labor migration was found in the IBL by verifying several examples.

→someは避けて、他の言い方にする。

お礼

ありがとうございました。