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「環境負荷低減と効率的土地利用を可能とする環境保全型畜産経営モデルの開発」という言葉を、英語で表したいのですが、私なりに「The Development of the Environmental-Protection-Type Livestock Farming Business Model which Considered Environmental Load and Efficient Use of Agricultural Land」としたのですが、何かおかしな点や、改善すべき点があれば、アドバイス頂きたいです。

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回答No.1

日本語は「・・・を可能とする」となっていますが、貴英文は ... considered という語が使われており、「考慮した」というニュアンスで、違いがあり、その論文・提案書?の内容はまかりませんが、一応その日本語の方を優先しますが・・・ まず、貴英文ですが:  その意味は伝わりますが environmental-protection-type という英文は変えたほうがいいと思います。 environmental load と efficient use of agricultural land と並列になっていますが、前者は「環境負荷」で後者は「農地の効率的利用」となっており、釣り合いが取れていないと思います。並列なら、「環境負荷」と「農地利用」、ないし「環境負荷低減」と「効率的農地利用」とすべきと思います。 どういう内容のビジネスモデルかわかりませんが、土地の利用は「効率的」というより「有効的」ではないでしょうか、内容的に。また、貴英文はagricultural land となっていますが、内容的に農地だけですか?農地以外の土地も含まれるのでは?(勝手にすみません)。 で、試案です: The Development of an Environmentally-friendly Livestock Farming Business Model That Reduces Environmental Load and Promotes Effective Land Use load は impact でも。 また、上記試案にはenvironmentally と environmental という同じ(ような)語が二度出てくるので(こういうのは専門の英文ライターはきらうようですが?)、environmentally-friendly は green に変えてもいいかと。 このgreen という語は英語でよくでてきます。秋に環境をテーマとした業界の国際会議にでましたが、Green Awards という表彰がありました。 また、Green Building Guidelines という環境に優しい建築指針などと言ったりします。green は動詞としても使われます。green a buildingのように。 このような題目は少しでも短いほうがベターでしょうから、試案2として: The Development of a Green Livestock Farming Business Model Aimed at Environmental Impact Reduction and Enhanced Land Use

zyhx-89
質問者

お礼

ご回答、ありがとうございます、大変勉強になりました。土地は、内容的には農地としての利用なのですが…ちょっと考えてみます。参考にさせて頂きます。

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noname#57682
noname#57682
回答No.2

環境保全型 = environmentally friendly ネットからの例: The Ministry of Agriculture and Forestry sets the "Guideline on the implementation of the direct payment for environmentally friendly livestock farming" to local government. 畜産経営モデル = livestock farming model (farmingiに経営の意味も含まれます) ネットからの例: livestock farming model based largely on the separation of the breeding from the fattening phases 可能とする = that enables us to ネットからの例: We have successfully developed a generic model that enables us to quickly adapt to changing. business needs. このtoの次に環境負荷を低減し、効率的に土地を利用するを加えれば完成。 環境負荷を低減する = reduce burdens on the environment ネットからの例: "Technically we already have everything we need to ensure sustainable power supplies and at the same time dramatically reduce burdens on the environment", said Sharef addressing the 20th World Energy Congress. 効率的に土地を利用する = use land efficiently ネットからの例: When firms use land efficiently, the land rises in value. 他にもいろんな言い方があると思います。私訳は一例です。最終的には "The development of an environmentally friendly livestock farming model that enables us to reduce burdens on the environment and use land efficiently"

zyhx-89
質問者

お礼

ご回答、ありがとうございました。大変勉強になります、是非、参考にさせて頂きます。

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