英文の添削お願いできませんか？
いつもお世話になっています。英文エッセイの技術向上を目指しています。相変わらずネイティブには程遠い英文ですが、添削・講評をお願いできないでしょうか？出来るなら具体的な箇所も指摘して頂たいです。お願いします。
子供たちは５月の風の涼しさに顔をほころばせながら、あなたのほうを振り返ったはずです。好きな人を見つけては倒れこむようにして駆け寄り、その人の胸に顔をうずめ、その後に新しい未知の世界を振り仰いで、そしてまた新たに歩き始める。それこそ一歳児の歩み方ではありませんか？
It was a fact that smiling with the crisp breeze in May, children looked back at you. In the case of infants, on finding a man who they favor, they rush into him as if falling to the ground, diving into his chest. After that, the steps of children to their growth must begin again thorough an envisagement of themselves in the new world beyond their knowledge. In my opinion, this is the very process of the one-year-old toward becoming adults.
Children certainly turned around to you, twinkling with the fresh air of May. As soon as a person loved by them appeared in their sight, youngsters ran up to him fit to drop, held in him chest, and getting interested in the new world they had not seen yet, and then beginning to develop step by step. In fact, this is really the way one-year-old children gradually grow.
