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英文添削をお願いします。

英語の再勉強中です。 英文を作成しましたので添削をお願いします。 There was also an affair today. Of course, that result was our big boss. After our boss reported his work to him, he took a joke, ‘the man who gave me this info told me that this is so expensive.’ This word aroused him and yelled. Then he himself called on the man who said it and clamed about it like child in the presence of us. It was really unbelievable scene. There is a problem wherever he is.

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noname#126371
noname#126371

ん?状況がいまいち理解できませんが……何かの問題でしょうか?一応、不自然だなと思ったところを指摘してみます。 (1)There was also an affair today. (2)(?)Of course, that result was our big boss. (3)After our boss reported his work to him, (4)he took a joke, ‘the man who gave me this info told me that this is so expensive.’ (5)This word aroused him and (6)yelled. Then he (7)himself called on the man who said (8)it and clamed about (9)it (10)like child in the presence of us. It was really unbelievable scene. (11)There is a problem wherever he is. (1)There構文は使わないほうがいいです。これでは限定がされず、どこにでもある事件となり何を指しているのか不明確です。あと「再度」という言い方は「also」では出来ません。「またもやちょっとした事件が起こった」といいたいのなら、 An funny affair happens again. としてみましょう。 (2)全体的に意味が不明です。とつぜん「もちろん、その結果は私たちのボスだった。」ということを言われても・・・ (3)これも意味不明です。himが誰を指しているのでしょうか?「our boss」だったら、変な文です。「私たちのボスは自分の仕事を彼に報告した後?」よくワカリマセン。 (4)言い方がまわりくどい。 (5)残念。arouseは他動詞なので、対称が人の場合は「to」を補いましょう。 (6)これでは「This word」が「yelled」になってしまいます。and he yelledにしましょう。 (7)無用。 (8)thatの方がいいでしょう。 (9)(8)と同じ。 (10)「まるで~のように」はas ifを用いましょう。likeは「同様に」なというような意味になるので、ちょっと不自然です。 (11)意味不明。「彼はどこにいても問題を起こす」と言いたいのかもしれませんが、適切な表現ではありません。 概要:元の日本語訳があればもっと適切に指示できるのですが・・・全体的に何を言いたいのかさっぱりです。全体的にもう一度文の構造を考えてみましょう。

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質問者からのお礼

早々に回答ありがとうございました。 次回からは日本文入れますので、今後もよろしくお願いします。

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