英作文の添削をお願いできますか？（長め）

質問

まずこの質問を見て頂きありがとうございます。
今回は題名通りの事で少し長いのですが英文の添削をお願いできませんか？
かれこれ2年程英語に触れていない中で英文を書く事になったので正直不安なのです。
ちなみに内容は飲酒運転についてです。
“drunk driving”is to drive a car after drink.
After this speach,I want you to think about this problem.
I'm going to talk about two point “cause accident and kill”and“lose social status”
・First “cause accident and kill”
Drunk driver may cause an accident. Because driver who can't right jugement when drink. and it may cause that murder person.
For example, Three years ago, Three children lost their life by drunk-driving.
・Second“ lose social status”
Besides, drunk driving have another bad possibilities.
For example,It is that arrested by the police. Recently the police inspect the cars at many places.If you drink and drive, you will arrest by the police.and this news is spread quickly for family,company,and friend.Then your social status will be lost.
Recently in Japan,policeman was laid off for drunk driving. Fortunately he was not murderd nobody .But drunk driving is a crime.and i knew this news two days ago.
・in conculusion ,i think we must stop drink when drive

です。長いし文法も単語の用法も滅茶苦茶かもしれませんが宜しくお願いします。

回答No.3

suikaemon

これはSpeechの原稿でしょうか。
それにしてもほんっとにめちゃくちゃですね。
直したらほとんど私の英語になってしまいました。

Drunk driving is to drive a car while you are still drunk.
(でも私ならこういいますDrunk driving is to operate a vehicle while being intoxicated.)

After this speech, I want you to think about this problem.
(でも私ならこういいますAfter my speech, I would like for you to think about this problem.)

I am going to talk about two points: traffic accidents and an influence on the driver’s reputation.
(でも私ならこういいますI am going to talk about two possible consequences of drunk driving: traffic accidents and damage to the driver’s reputation)
“social status”`を失うってのはちょっと変なんじゃないかな。

First of all, drunk drivers are inclined to cause accidents because consumption of alcohol often clouds their judgment. Sometimes, such traffic accidents result in loss of innocent lives.
Indeed, three years ago, three children were killed in an accident that was caused by drunk driving.

The other possible consequence of drunk driving is damage to the driver’s reputation.
If you are caught for drunk driving, you may lose your license. Rumors may spread to people you know and you may lose their trust as well.

Two days ago, I heard on the news that a Japanese policeman was laid off for drunk driving. Although he did not kill anybody, drunk driving is still a serious crime.

In conclusion, I think we should all refrain from drinking alcohol when we need to drive later.

FYI ちなみにアメリカでは飲酒運転のことをよくDUI (Driving under the influence)といいます

回答No.2

ohioan4506

こんにちは。文法の他に、文頭では大文字、文中では小文字、という基本的なこともしっかり押さえていくといいと思います。

“drunk driving”is to drive a car after drink.
drunk driving→Drunk driving
after drink→after drinking.

After this speach,I want you to think about this problem.
speach→ speech

I'm going to talk about two point “cause accident and kill”and“lose social status”
two point →　two points
cause accident and kill　→causing accident and killing
lose social status　→losing social status

・First “cause accident and kill”
Drunk driver may cause an accident. Because driver who can't right jugement when drink. and it may cause that murder person.

→The first point I would like to discuss is "causing accident and killing people". Drunk drivers may cause an accident because they can't make right a judgment after drinking.
it may cause that murder person.→it may cause killing people.

For example, Three years ago, Three children lost their life by drunk-driving.
→For example, three years ago, three children lost their life by a drunk-driver.

・Second“ lose social status”
Besides, drunk driving have another bad possibilities.
→The second point is "losing social status", and it may be another bad possibility for drunk driving.

For example,It is that arrested by the police. Recently the police inspect the cars at many places.If you drink and drive, you will arrest by the police.and this news is spread quickly for family,company,and friend.Then your social status will be lost.

→Recently the police inspect cars in many places. If you drink and drive, you will be arrested by the police. Not only your family and friends but your company learn this incidents, and you may lose your social status.

Recently in Japan,policeman was laid off for drunk driving. Fortunately he was not murderd nobody .But drunk driving is a crime.and i knew this news two days ago.

Recentlyと two days ago　と時を表す言葉が２つ出ているので、まとめると、

There was news two days ago that police man was laid off for drunk driving. Fortunately he didn't kill anybody, but drunk driving is a crime.

・in conculusion ,i think we must stop drink when drive
→In conclusion ,I think we must stop drinking if we drive.

回答No.1

noname#91205

飲酒運転とはお酒を飲んだ後、車を運転することです。
スピーチの後、皆さんにはこの問題について考えて頂きたい。
私は、「事故や死亡の原因」と「社会的地位の喪失」の２点について話したいと思います。
まずはじめの「事故や死亡の原因」です。
飲酒運転は事故の原因となりうる。お酒を飲んだとき正しい判断ができない運転手とお酒は、殺人者となりうる。
例えば、３年前、３人の子供が飲酒運転によって命を落としている。
第２に、「社会的地位の喪失」について
加えて、飲酒運転はもう一つ悪しき可能性を有している。
例えば、警察に捕まったとする。最近、警察ではあちらこちらで車を
観察している。もしお酒を飲んで運転したら、警察に捕まり、
この知らせはすぐに家族や会社、友人へと広まるだろう。
そうしたら社会的地位は失われるでしょう。
日本では最近、警察官が飲酒運転で解雇された。幸い誰も死んではいない。
しかし、飲酒運転は犯罪であり、このニュースを私は２日後にしった。
結論として　乗るなら飲むな　をしなければいけないと思う。