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質問(英語)

manamatyの回答

  • manamaty
  • ベストアンサー率50% (27/53)
回答No.2

こんばんは。 まずは全て大文字なのが大変読みづらいです。 読んでみた感想は製品説明と、マーケティングについてを分けて書くべきだと思います。今は2つの要素が一緒くたになってますよね。 先方に一番理解して欲しいポイントは「製品」についてだと思いますが、日本語の説明と違ってグダグダ書くよりも、factのみを記載する方がいいと思います。 文章にしようとするので、なんだかゴチャゴチャしてしまうのだと思います。商品の特徴は箇条書きにしてくれた方が、まだ理解し易いです。 開拓していきたいマーケットの方向性なんかは、拙くても文章の方が伝わるでしょうね。 それでは、頑張ってください。

moccya
質問者

お礼

回答有難うございます。 製品説明と、マーケティングについてを分けてもう一度書いてみます。 頑張ります!!ありがとうございました。

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