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英語でお礼の手紙

カナダのホームステイから帰国し、 先方にお礼の手紙を書きました。 本、辞書を使い書いたのですが、 失礼な文章になっていないか不安です。 お恥ずかしいですが、 頑張って作った文章を載せます。 添削していただければありがたいです。 Althoughが多いのも気になっています。 Although it became late,first of all I'd like to let you know that I came back home safe and sound. It is already in spite of September,it is still very hot and humid in Japan. Although the time which I spent there was short. But I think I became tame there completely, I'm surprised at climate,people's numerousness, the badness of air,and noise of Tokyo. I had a very good time staying with you. thank you for talking slowly,although my English was scarce. I was able to learn a great many things thanks to all of you. And I think my listenning has improved by the grace of you,too. Finally, I am looking forward to the day which can meet you. I'd like to thank you for your kindness and hospitality. Please take good care of yourselves.

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  • 英語
  • 回答数4
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  • ベストアンサー
  • 回答No.3
  • kafuku
  • ベストアンサー率60% (15/25)

ホームステイ先へのお礼の手紙ですよね? ということは、向こうもbluebrryさんの英語力を知ってるんですよね? それなら、有りのまま自分の言葉で書いた方が気持ちがよく伝わるんじゃないかなって、私は思います。 下手に整っていたら、相手には繕っているのがわかりますよ。私も学生時代にペンパルに日本紹介の本の英訳文を抜粋して書いてましたが、後で語学力がついてから読み返すと、自分で考えた部分と何かに頼った部分の英語力のギャップが激しいこと! という訳で・・・、私は敢えて、ここだけ変えればなんとか察してくれると思うよってレベルでのアドバイスにしておきますね。参考のために、最後にスッキリ文も書いておきます。が、ご自身の文章を大切にしてくださいね!(英語力に自信がない時代に一生懸命ペンパルに手紙を書いた日を思い出します!) いつか、bluebrryさんご自身の言葉でスラスラ思うことが書ける日がくるといいですね。ステイ先のファミリーも、そうゆう成長を一番喜んでくれるでしょうから! では: ”I came back home safe and sound”のsoundの意味は通じなさそうです。要らないんじゃないかなと思うんですが。 "Although the time ~Tokyo."は: Althoughは省き、"The time~short, but I got used to my life there. So I'm surprised at ~." "scarce"は適さないけれど、きっと察してくれますよ。 "grace of you"とは言わない・・・ちと厳しいかな・・・ "by your help"程度でいいですよ。 さて。スッキリ文です。しつこいですが、これは勉強の為だけに使ってください(^_^) I am sorry it took me time before writing. First of all, I'd like to thank you for your kindness and hospitality you extended to me during my stay. (私ならまずお礼を。) I came home safe. September in Japan is still hot and humid. Although I only stay there for a short time, I got used to your mild climate, space, clean air, and quiet environment. So I realized and surprized at the gap in Tokyo. (東京を直接的に悪く言うより相手の環境をほめる方がいいと思うな・・・。) I had a very good time staying with you. Thank you for talking slowly, and struggling through my English. I learnt a lot from all of you. I think my listening skill has improved thanks to you. I am looking forward to meeting you again. Please take good care of yourselves. こんな感じです。

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その他の回答 (3)

  • 回答No.4
  • CATLIN
  • ベストアンサー率48% (279/577)

全部添削するわけにいかないのでアドバイスだけいくつか書きます。 最初の段落ですが、まずこの手紙の最初の言葉がAlthoughから始まるのに大変な違和感を感じます。 First of all~から書き始めるのでいいのでは。 もし遅くてごめん風なら、「帰国したあと忙しくて手紙がおそくなってごめんなさいね。」などと書いたほうがいいと思います。 It is already September~なのにvery hot and humidの意味なら、but などで文をつなげないと…。 in spite of September は9月には夏よりは涼しいという常識のもとに成り立つ意味ですが(どこでもいつでも9月は夏より涼しくなければいけないという常識でないと使えませんから)、It already become Septemberでbut でいいんじゃないでしょうか? 2段落目はちょっと文が通じないです。 1行目から二行目は二重否定みたいですし。 「そちらの環境に慣れてしまったため、東京の気候や人の多さ、空気の悪さ、騒音にビックリしてしまった」 を正しい日本語にすると、 「そちらにいた時間は短かったけれどそちらの生活に慣れてしまったから、東京の気候や人の多さ、空気の悪さや人の多さには驚いてしまう。」ではないでしょうか? この文章を書くのであれば。I'm surprise that ~から始めて後にそちらですごした時間は短かったけれども、と書くのが正しいと思います。 この場合の「けれども」はそれこそAlthoughの出番です。 My English is scarceは使わない表現です。 My English is so poor.ではないでしょうか? (scarceは数えることができる(numerableな)ものに使う) I was able to learn~だと今は事情があって(体が不自由とかになって)できないみたいに聞こえますよ。 I had a such great experience all through your kindness. (ちょっとくさい言い方だけど…) My listenning ability has improuved because of you. そして私ならこの二文はNot only ,but alsoとかでつなぎます。 Finalyの後の文章はあなたに会うのが待ち遠しいではなくあなたに合う日が待ち遠しい、つもりですか? それならば I can hardly to wait the day to come.とか。でも恋人同士の表現みたい。 最後の文章は Again,I'd like to thank you foy your kindness and hospitality you gave me. とかでしょうか? そして最後がyourselvesとなっいるからホストファミリーは二人以上とかなんですね? そうしたら、この文章の頭には Dear ○○Family とつけた方が相手にわかりやすいです。 手紙は心を伝えるものだから簡単な言葉でもいいんですよ。 あまり難しく考えないことと、辞書にはあっても通常使わない表現は避けたほうがいいです。 それから日本人にありがちな思い込み文は余計文章をわかりにくくします。 in spite of の使い方の説明わかっていただけるでしょうか?その後に続く単語は必ず普遍で概念が一つのものです。 私の英英ですと、「in spite of」 used for introducing something that may be unexpected and surprisingと書いてあります。 In spite of great age,he run very fast. この場合は年寄りは早く走れない、ということが概念として前提にあるのでrun fast が驚きになるのです。

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  • 回答No.2
  • odamari
  • ベストアンサー率10% (25/243)

規約抵触すれすれなのもあって 辛口で書きますが  変です ご自分で言われている Although の連発もそうですが >It is already in spite of September >I became tame there >I'm surprised at climate,people's numerousness, >the badness of air,and noise of Tokyo. >I am looking forward to the day > which can meet you. の各文は すべて 文法的におかしいです。    実力に見合った 文章をかかれてはいかが?

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  • 回答No.1

英文専門家ではないのですが、いい文章だと思います。 ただ、英文では同じタームを使いまわさないようにするのがいいと言われていますので、最初のAlthoughは素直にSorry にしてもいいのでは、でもSorry が最初に来ると変なので first of all I'd like to let you know that I came back home safe and sound. を前に持ってきて、first of all I'd like to let you know をもっと強く I have to inform you とかのほうがいいかも。 それから But I think I became tame there completely, I'm surprised at climate,people's numerousness, the badness of air,and noise of Tokyo. ですが、訳すると しかし、私はそこで完全に従順になったように思う、私は気候や、おびただしい人々、悪い空気、東京の喧騒に驚いた。 ???tameの何か現地での流りですか。 すいません、この情報ではわかりません。 その後 talking slowly, は conversations with me slowly,で although my English was scarceは Though my scarecely Engulish か  nevertheless、my English was scarce でも面白いのでは。 あとは、気追わずに 自然体を出したほうが通じますよ。 余計な人の文章を気にせず、自分の言葉で表現すれば。

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質問者からのお礼

さっそくの回答ありがとうございました。 いろいろ参考になるセンテンスを載せていただき、 非常に助かります!!

質問者からの補足

回答ありがとうございます。 真ん中の文章は、 「そちらの環境に慣れてしまったため、東京の気候や人の多さ、空気の悪さ、騒音にビックリしてしまった」 というニュアンスにしたかったのですが… また返答いただければ嬉しいです。

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