英文を添削してください

質問

The lavender scareについての文です。
The lavender scare refers to a witch hunt and the mass firings of gay people in the 1950s from the United States government. It paralleled the anti-communist campaign known as McCarthyism and the Second Red Scare. Gay men and lesbians were said to be security risks and communist sympathizers, which led to the call to remove them from state employment.
The Lavender Scare was fueled by postwar fears that the U.S. was in a state of moral decline, dominated by a new class of powerful government bureaucrats, and threatened by communism.

⇨The lavender scare refers to a witch hunt and the gay people.
It paralleled the anti-communist campaign known as McCarthyism and the Second Red Scare.
Gay men and lesbians were said to be security risks and communist sympathizers, which led to the call to remove them from state employment.
The Lavender Scare was fueled by postwar fears that the U.S. was threatened by communism.

上の文をまとめたのですが、長かったので⇨以降、またまとめ直しました。
⇨以降の英文を添削して欲しいです。
もし、ここも省いてもいいよ、もっと簡単な表現があるよ、などあればそちらも教えて欲しいです。

さらに短くなれば、嬉しいです。

よろしくお願いします。

回答No.2

Nakay702 · ベストアンサー

間違いなどは全然ありませんが、「言い換え、置き換え」(substitution) の類を幾つかお勧めします。

＞ The lavender scare refers to a witch hunt and the gay people.
⇒ a witch hunt and the gay people「魔女とゲイの人々狩り」はいびつな形ですので、簡単にa hunt of witch and gay「魔女とゲイ狩り」としましょうか。
→ The lavender scare refers to a hunt of witch and gay.

＞ It paralleled the anti-communist campaign known as McCarthyism and the Second Red Scare.
⇒ paralleled「並行して行われた」は、簡単にwent with「一緒に行われた」としてもいいでしょう。
→ It paralleled/went with the anti-communist campaign known as McCarthyism and the Second Red Scare.

＞ Gay men and lesbians were said to be security risks and communist sympathizers, which led to the call to remove them from state employment.
⇒ callは、この場合「要請、要求」といった意味ですから、appealでもいいですね。
→ Gay men and lesbians were said to be security risks and communist sympathizers, which led to the call/appeal to remove them from state employment.

＞ The Lavender Scare was fueled by postwar fears that the U.S. was threatened by communism.
⇒ was fueled by ～は「～によってたきつけられた」というようなニュアンスですので、was fired by ～またはwas fired up by ～で置き換えることができますね。
→ The Lavender Scare was fueled/fired (up) by postwar fears that the U.S. was threatened by communism.

＊しばしば言い換えをお勧めしていますが、それは「置き換えができるということは、理解できていることの証しである」（と教授の目に映る）からです！

お礼

回答ありがとうございます。
大変参考になりました！
ラベンダー狩り？というのでしょうか？
日本語で検索しても全くヒットせず…別の意味のラベンダー狩りが出てきました。
そのような歴史があるなんて知りませんでした。
話が逸れてしまいましたが…　簡単にまとめていただき、また言い換えもしていただき本当にありがとうございます！

回答No.1

SPS700

⇨The lavender scare, a witch hunt of the gay, paralleling the McCarthyism and the Second Red Scare, spread the rumor that the gay are security risks and communist sympathizers leading to the call to remove them from state employment, fueled by postwar fears that the U.S. was threatened by communism.

お礼

回答ありがとうございます。
あの文が一文になるなんて…！
驚きです！
参考になりました！