英文を添削と、簡単にして欲しいです。

質問

ある文を簡単にしたいのですが、意味が通るか、文法的におかしくないか確認して欲しいです。（⇨が、簡単にした文です。⇨以降の文の添削をお願いします）

He greatly expanded the powers of the federal government through a series of programs and reforms known as the New Deal.
（Heとはルーズベルトのことです。）
⇨He greatly expanded the powers of the federal government through the New Deal.

そして次の２つの文なのですが、簡単にすることは可能でしょうか？
（例えば、２文目のAs an active military leaderはなくても大丈夫とかです）
・And he served as the principal architect of the successful effort to rid the world of German National Socialism and Japanese militarism.
・As an active military leader, Roosevelt implemented a war strategy on two fronts that ended in the defeat of the Axis Powers, and he initiated the development of the world's first atomic bomb.

よろしくお願いします。

回答No.2

92128bwsd · ベストアンサー

⇨He greatly expanded the powers of the federal government through the New Deal.
完璧と思います。

・And he served as the principal architect of the successful effort to rid the world of German National Socialism and Japanese militarism.
これは難しいですね。
He served as the principal architect of the successful effort to rid the Axis powers.
the principal architect をled に変えれば短くなるのですが、そうすると含意を失いますね。

・As an active military leader, Roosevelt implemented a war strategy on two fronts that ended in the defeat of the Axis Powers, and he initiated the development of the world's first atomic bomb.

Roosevelt implemented a war strategy to defeat the Axis Powers and initiated the development of the world's first atomic bomb.

as an active military leader は取っても大丈夫と思います。

お礼

回答ありがとうございます！
そしてお礼が遅くなってしまい申し訳ございません。
大変参考になりました。
短くするのって難しいですね…。
ですが、いい勉強になりました！

回答No.1

cbm51901

> He greatly expanded the powers of the federal government through the New Deal.
⇒ これで良いと思います。

> And he served as the principal architect of the successful effort to rid the world of German National Socialism and Japanese militarism.
⇒ He also was the principal architect responsible for eliminating German National Socialism and Japanese militarism.

> As an active military leader, Roosevelt implemented a war strategy on two fronts that ended in the defeat of the Axis Powers, and he initiated the development of the world's first atomic bomb.
⇒ An active military leader, Roosevelt implemented a war strategy on two fronts that defeated the Axis Powers, and he developed the world's first atomic bomb.

お礼

回答ありがとうございます。
大変参考になりました！！