英作文を見て頂けますでしょうか。日本語訳を下に載せています。宜しくお願

質問

英作文を見て頂けますでしょうか。日本語訳を下に載せています。宜しくお願いします。

A new television set was really wonderful. Thank you for advice.
There is no "TV turn-off week" in Japan.
However, I think that it is a good attempt. It is wonderful that there is a history for 14 years. There is a week when electricity "Down of the light campaign" is erased in Japan. Light in the building is erased. It thinks about global warming through erasing electricity.
Certainly, I think that the television influences us harmfully. However, I think it is good. For instance, a lot of information can be obtained in a short time, and I think that I might receive the influence that may pass the information.
Certainly, I think that TV causes the child's obesity. It is because I also am often eating the cake while it is watching television.
Was TV thrown out to the garbage box?I was surprised to hear the story. It has been understood well that children depend on the television that much.
I agree with the limitation of time to watch television. It is necessary to bear moderate use in mind.

新しいテレビセットは本当に素晴らしかったよ。アドバイスありがとう。
日本には、テレビをつけない週間はない。でも、それはすごくいい試みだと思う。１４年も歴史があるなんて素晴らしいね。ちなみに、日本には「ライトダウンキャンペーン」という、電気を消す週間があるよ。建物のライトアップが消されるんだ。電気を消すことを通して、地球温暖化について考えるんだ。
確かに、テレビは私たちに悪影響を及ぼすと思う。でも、いいところもあると思うよ。例えば、短時間で多くの情報を手に入れることができるし、その情報を通していい影響を受けることもあると思うよ。
ＴＶは子供の肥満の原因になっていると思う。私もよく、テレビを見ている間にお菓子を食べている。
ＴＶをゴミ箱へ投げ込んだんだ？私はその話を聞いてびっくりしたよ。子供たちがそれだけテレビに依存しているということがよく分かったよ。
私はテレビを見る時間を制限することに賛成です。適度な使用を心がけるべきだ。

回答No.1

lemmiwinks

これでいかがでしょうか。
The new television set was really wonderful. Thank you for your advice.
There is no "TV turn-off week" in Japan. However, I think that it is a good idea. It is wonderful that you have been keeping it for 14 years. There is a 'Light-down week' in Japan. During the week, buildings' light-ups are turned off. We think about global warming through this saving electricity activity.
It is true that that the television has a bad influence on us in one way, but I think that it has a good influence too. For instance, a lot of information can be obtained in a short time, and I think that the information can be useful.
Also, I think that TV causes children's obesity. It is because they often eat cakes while they watch television. I also do the same often.
I was surprised to hear that someone (誰でしょう？適切な主語に代えて下さい。）threw the TV into the garbage can. I see from the story that that children depend on the television very much.
I agree with the idea to limit the time to watch television. It is necessary to keep the appropriate length to watch television.

お礼

ご丁寧な回答、ありがとうございました！