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英作文の添削をお願いします。間違った文法やおかしな表現がありましたらぜひご教授願います。 I think that advertising is necessary for both companies and us, even for primary schoolchildren. Of course, advertisings give us a lot of useful information. For companies, ads are important to know their products. But I think that ads have another merit. It is we can know the latest society. We can understand latest society by knowing a lot of new products. For example, Honda invented a new robot which can wait on customers in café. So we can know the level of robot technology and imagine the future. Also, advertising gives schoolchild interests about society.  It broadens their outlook. And they can gain wisdom of lives. And I also think elementary school is the best time to have interests in society. So I’m sure that it is important to know the real world. So I don’t mind ads in elementary school. よろしくおねがいします。


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  • 回答No.1

中学・高校としては、結構、しっかり書けてますね。中学・高校生どころか大学生までが宿題の丸投げを教えて!gooでやっているケースがあるなかで、あなたのような質問の仕方には共感を覚えます。 > I think that advertising is necessary for both companies and us, even for primary schoolchildren. usというのは宣伝を見る消費者のことですよね。前後の文脈がないのであれば、consumersにしてしまったほうが良いと思います。会社にとっても消費者にとっても宣伝は必要なものだという意見には、違和感がありますが、そういう趣旨なら、そのように書くしかないでしょう。 > Of course, advertisings give us a lot of useful information. For companies, ads are important to know their products. なんで会社側にとっても、自分たち自身の製品について知ることが重要なんですか?For companies, ads are important to promote their productsなら分かるんですが。 > We can understand latest society by knowing a lot of new products. latestは最上級ですから、前にtheをつけるのが普通。 > For example, Honda invented a new robot which can wait on customers in café. So we can know the level of robot technology and imagine the future. すみません、caf&eacuteは何かの文字化けだと思いますが、元の単語が思いつきません。「;.」というのは、極めて異例な句読点方だと思いますね。単に「.」なら分かるのですが。いずれにしても、So we can know the level of robot technology and imagine the future.は、現在と将来の比較を明確にしたほうがよいので、So we can learn the current level of robot technologies and thus imagine what will happen in the future.とかの方がよいと思います。 > Also, advertising gives schoolchild interests about society.  It broadens their outlook. schoolchildは複数形にしたほうが素直なのではないでしょうか。それから、interestという単語は、単なる興味ではなく、かなり社会運動に積極的に貢献するような強い興味を示したり、逆に、ビジネス上の利益という含意があったりしますので、自分なら好奇心curiosityあたりに変えます。Outlookは世の中に対するものの見方という意味で使っていると思います。違和感がないわけではないのですが、まあ、いいでしょう。ただし、何に対する見方なのかを加えたほうがよいです。結論としては Also, advertizing gives schoolchildren curiosity to the society and it broadens their outlook of the world.と私なら書きます。微妙なのが、advertizingと書くべきなのかadvertisingと書くべきなのかという問題で、まあ、英語と米語の違いがあるかもしれません。この単語については、良い辞書を引いてみても答えは曖昧だったのですが、通常のこの手の動詞であれば、-isingと書くのがイギリス式、-izingと書くのがアメリカ式です。 > And I also think elementary school is the best time to have interests in society. 自分なら、And I also think that elementary school is the best place for schoolchildren to develop curiosity to the societyです。 >So I’m sure that it is important to know the real world. So I don’t mind ads in elementary school. 文章として書きたいなら、I'mとかの省略形式はやめましょうよ。また、最後の文で、「小学校内に宣伝があっても、自分は気にしない」という意味なら、これはmindではなくcareを使うケースです。最後のschoolは複数形にしたほうが良いですね。 中学生ですか?高校生ですか?何年生ですか?このまま順調に英語の勉強を続けていきましょう。



詳しい解説をありがとうございました。 何とか無事に提出することができました。 文字化けの単語はイタリア語の文字表記になっていました。もとの単語はcafeです。


  • 英作文の添削をお願いします(中学~高校レベル)

    辞書片手に英作文を行いました。つたない英語で申し訳ありませんが、以下の文において、文法的な間違いがありましたら、添削をお願いします。 In any case, I don't think suicide is all right. Mr.A and his doctor's decision is stupid. I know "Where there is life, there is hope". We can do nothing without life. Nothing is more important than life. Suicide can release peopple from pain, but also takes away their future and joy. How painful he was, he should try to live. Though he had an incurable disease, it's only one of trial of his life. In fact, there are many people have an incurable disease and try to live better. I think A's decision was wishful thinking. I also have an incurable disease of skin, but I've never thought suicide. It's wrong to choose death in any case.

  • 自由英作文の添削をお願いします。

    何度も失礼します。前回、前々回とも詳しく、ご丁寧な添削ありがとうございます。 あつかましいのですが、また自由英作文の添削をお願いします。 グローバル化がもたらすメリットとデメリット・それに対する意見 The merit of globalization is that we can access to technology, imformation, services and markets all over the world. They are good for local communities because they could take part in world economic. But,the demerit of globalization is that there is a possibility that individual distinctions of culture and society become erased by an increasingly homogeneous global culture. For example, I have been to Thailand before. I hoped that I enjoyed ehnic costume and delicious food wagons although they are dirty. But, The scene of Thailand seldom change to a spectacle of Japan. There were a lot of department stores of Japan, and many people enjoyed shopping with the dress in good taste. As my conclution, it is important for us to advance globalization as we remain individual culture and society. 長くなってしまいすいません。どんな些細な点でもご指摘いただければありがたいです。よろしくお願いします。

  • 英作文の添削をお願いします!

    英語でスピーチをする予定があり、原稿を作ったのですが、文法や自然な表現に自信がないので、長文ですが添削をお願いします!^^ Are you happy? Of course there are many happy, enjoyable things. Sports, movies, shopping, and so forth. However, there are also many unhappy, depressive things. Do you surely think you are really happy? Today, the world is facing many serious problems. Discrimination, poverty, war, and so forth. However, we Japanese don’t have such serious problems. We were born in blessed, rich land, Japan. We can eat, buy what we want, and …..live. Then, what are the problems? Big one of the problems Japan facing is a problem of stress. I also suffer from the stress. “One pair of half pants is called pajamas”. “I’m called a Yankee because my hair is gold.” I’ll move on my topic. There are many stress. Human relationships, anxiety, a sense of inferiority, the number of stress is limitless. Because of these stress, many people cannot imagine bright future, only suffer from stress. If we suffer from stress, we cannot concentrate enjoyable things, and enjoy our lives. Stress has influence on not only our mind, but also our body. You can imagine depression as mental disease, difficult breathing, circulatory system and digestive system. To know these effects, perhaps you know how serious stress is. By the way, have you think of any solutions for stress? As I said before, there are many kind of stress, and those causes are also different. But I declare one cause of stress is broadcasting. This linkage is seemed unrealistic. However, media make us imagine there are full of sad accidents, crimes, disease and so on. We live in dark world. Why do we believe that? This is because we watch a number of news, broadcasting sad and dark things. Our brains believe the world we live is dark, not bright unconsciously. Of course there are not only dark ones, but also bright ones, but media focus on dark ones more easily, than bright ones. As I take one example, news about bullying. This news is broadcasted many times, and gathers much attention. That’s why our brains believe the world is full of sadness, hopeless. And we easily feel depression and suffer from stress. Then, how can we save ourselves? How can we release stress? Which way is the best way to solve the problem? Excluding the cause of stress? Or Changing society itself creating stress? Banning broadcasting dark news? All of them are not seemed effective way to solve it. Do we have to endure stress or deceive ourselves? We don’t suffer from stress. I’m OK. I’m OK. I’m happy No way. I refuse to do that. All we have to do is to deceive our brains. We have two simple choices to do. 1st is to look into just bright future. If we do that, our brains recognize only bright future without thinking and we think in a positive way. However, this way is not a perfect way. Some really suffer from stress and cannot look into bright future. Then, I will introduce 2nd way. 2nd is to appreciate 3 things every day and write down them. For example, I live with my aunt and she takes care of me. Now, I write down three things. 1st, “my aunt cooks a meal for me.” Thank to that, I keep my health and eat delicious food. 2nd, “every morning, my aunt sends me to the station.” That’s why I can save my time in the morning and sleep more. 3rd, “on my birthday, my aunt give me 1000 yen.” 1000 yen is not a little money!! To continue this, your brains will believe there are full of many happy, bright, fine things. We live in a happy world. Some of you think why this is beneficial for you? Yes. I’ll explain it. By getting this thought, positive way to look into your future, you suffer from less and less stress, and are released from stress. This is totally enough. And, the effect is not only reducing stress. Please don’t be surprised. By released from stress, your brains work well as 30%. You will not have trouble to studying. You will be able to get degree more easily. Good! If you got this thought, your future would be bright. I hope you will get bright future.

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  • 回答No.2

なかなか上手く書けていますよ。しかし、添削ということで 少し気になる部分を指摘させて頂きます。 >companies 会社のことですよね。しかし、ここでは「企業」という意味で enterprisesの方が適切でしょう。 > primary schoolchildren 「小学生」のことを指していると思うんですが、ちょっと無理のある表現です。schoolchildrenだけでもOKですし、もしくは pupils of primary schoolとします。 >to know their products これは目的を表していると思うんですが、 in order to know their products という風に目的を明確に表した方がいいでしょう。 >merit 日本語では「メリット」をよく使いますが、英語では advantageの方が適切でしょう。meritだと「功績」とか「称賛価値」のニュアンスを含みます。 >Also Alsoだけを文頭に置いても浮いてしまいます。 In additionなどを使った方がいいでしょう。 > schoolchild ここは複数形にすべきです。 > elementary school 最初の方で primary schoolchildrenとあったので、イギリス英語で統一するなら primary schoolとした方がいいでしょう。 >And they can gain wisdom of lives これは日本人が忘れがちなんですが、wisdomの前に someを置いた方がいいでしょう。ここでは wisdomは不加算名詞ですが、生活の知恵は 広告で得られるものが唯一(全て)ではなく一部分のはずです。もし、 唯一(全て)の場合は theを付けます。 > It broadens their outlook. And they can gain wisdom of lives. これなんかは、It broadens their outlook and allows them to gain... と一つにまとめればスッキリします。 > elementary school is the best time to have interests in society elementary schoolは the period of beeing schoochildren とした方が分かりやすいでしょう。 >real world これは微妙ななんですが、 actual worldの方がいいかもしれません。 realは意味が広いし、 virtual worldの反対の意味のような感じもします。 あと、欲を言えば importantが2回使われていますが、 crucial とか essentialとかに言い変えて工夫があればベターです。それとこれは日本人に特徴的なんですが thinkも3回使われていますが、suppose とか considerとかも使うともっとスマートな英文になります。



詳しい添削をありがとうございました。 とても勉強になりました。


  • 英作文の添削をお願いします。

    大学の二次試験で自由英作文があるのですがなかなかうまく行きません。添削をお願い致します。 テーマは、[携帯電話についてどう思うか]です。 In my opinion, cell phone was enabie us to do many things.Take an example.we can contact other people immediatly when we are late for appointmennt.And we can use it whereever we are.we need not find a public phone.In addition to, we can contact someone I want to talk wherever the person is.But contraryto their good sides,we have bad sides,too.For example,we often see someone calling on train or bus.And we often catch a phone at midnight suddenly.It is very rode and they think nothing but their conveniences.we understand such bose sides and should consider apt time and appropriate place when we use cell phone. 間違いが多いとは思いますが、どうかお願いします。

  • 自由英作文の添削をお願いします。

    自由英作文の添削をお願いします。 少子高齢化が生じる原因と問題点、そしてあなたが考える解決策を書きなさい。 I think that what is causing an aging society with a low birthrate is that the average life expectancy has been rising, and fewer babies have been born. One of the problems of this is that Japanese economy will get to recession. This is because the working-age population in Japan is decreasing. To solve this problem, we should make more positive use of women and older people. If we create the environment in which they can work easily, I believe Japan will overcome this difficult problem. ※自分は大学受験生です。周りに添削してくれる人がいなくて困っています。どんな些細なことでもご指摘いただけたらありがたいです。 毎回ご丁寧な添削ありがとうございます。回答者の皆様にはご負担をおかけしてしまっていると思いますが、皆さんに添削していただくごとに合格へ一歩ならず、何歩も近づけていると感じます。これからも、ご迷惑かもしれませんが、よろしくお願いします。

  • 英作文の添削をお願いいたします!

    英作文の添削をお願いいたします! 問題:次の英文を読んで、あなたの意見を約100語の英文で述べなさい。 Japan is rapidly becoming an aging society. In 1963 the number of people aged 100 years or over was approximately 150. Now there are approximately 18,000 people in this category. What effect do you think an aging society will have on Japan`s economy, and specifically the welfare system. (日本は急速に高齢化社会になりつつある。1963年の時点では100歳あるいはそれ以上の年齢の高齢者の数はおおよそ150人くらいだった。しかし今や、おおよそ18000人がこのカテゴリーに入る。高齢社会が日本経済、特に福祉のシステムにどんな影響を与えると思いますか?) という、何だか考えるのも難しい問題です。高齢化社会と少子高齢化は何か違いがあるのだろうかと考えたし、福祉にどんな影響を与えるのを考えるのも難しかったです。自分なりの答えは以下のとおりです。 [ANSWER] I think one of the effects is lack of home for the aged. Besides, birth rate recently has been lower and the number of people who take care of an old person is also decreasing. For example, many old people who have lost their husband or wife live alone. And then lonely death has been increasing because some youngers can`t keep an eye on them. Moreover, it is difficult to collect enough the taxes. As a result, as I said beforehand, lack of home for the aged occurs. I think we should find some solution to these problem. (98words) (私はその影響のひとつに老人ホームの不足があると思います。さらに、最近出生率は低くなっていて、老人の面倒を見る人の数もまた減少しつつあります。例えば、夫あるいは妻を亡くした多くの老人は一人暮らしをしています。そして、彼らに目が届かない若者もいるので孤独氏が増加しつつあります。さらに、税金を集めることは難しく、その結果として、私が前もって言ったように、老人ホームの不足が生じるのです。私はこれらの問題に対し何らかの解決策を見出すべきだと思います。) という感じで書いて見ました。(上の日本語訳は自分なりに書きました。)自分的には何だか説得力に欠けているような気もします。しかし、どこをどう直すべきかがうまく書けず困っています。どんな些細な間違いでもいいので、ぜひ添削をお願いします。あとできれば、評価は何点くらいか、それとこんな風に書いてみれば、とか模範解答例っぽいのも書いていただけるとうれしいです。 お返事待ってます。

  • 英作文の添削お願いします。

    テレビの功罪について70語程度の英語で書け。 The television plays a vital role in our life. First, we can get various information of the world from it. Second, we can also derive enjoyment from it. Certainly, there is the fact that the television does us harm. For example, it cause failure of eyesight. However, the harm can be diminished easily by our slight care and it is indispensable to us now. From now on, the television is going to develop and have a good effect on our life. 書いてるといつの間にか文の始まりがほとんど副詞になってしまいました...問題は無いですよね…? なるべく主旨の一貫性を狙ってみたのですがどうでしょうか?またザッと流し読みして単複・時制などにおかしなとこありましたら指摘していただけるとうれしいです。よろしくお願いします。

  • 英作文の添削

    What kind of person do you think makes a good friend? という問題に50字程度で解答する問題です。文法や単語の使い方が間違っていないか見てください。 I think I can make a good friends who is have own mind.It is because I can have good trust on he/she,and I don't care about how many friends have,but the deep and forever relation,andI have a friend who she is.

  • 英作文の添削をお願いします。

    初音ミクという新しい音楽についてあなたは良いと思うか悪いと思うかに関してです 賛成反対両方について書きました。 文法誤りや10/10で評価願います 反対 I think a new music of Hatsune Miku is no good , because it is not a real voice but a machanical voice . Of coruse, everyone easily can make a lot of music without a real vocalist now. But a machanical voice can't inform a lot of people to like listening to music of feelings , because it is none too lively, whlle a real voice can inform them of feelings and attraction . Therefore, I can't understand music of Hatsune Miku . 賛成 I think a new music of Hatsune Miku is a very wonderful invention, because it caused a variety of merits. For example, there is a success of live peformance. The live of Hatsune Miku in Japan gathered a lot of people ,regardless of thier age , sex or nationality. In addition, japanese people can exchange thoughts and ideas with people all over the world by the shared hobby that you listen to music of Hatsune Miku. Therefore, I can understand the new music of Hatsune Miku.

  • 一橋大学 自由英作文 添削のお願い

    一橋大学 自由英作文 添削のお願い 2007年度 (120語~150語)                                                                               条件・ 日本は九月から学校を始業するべきだ。について述べなさい。                                                                                I agree the statement that the school in Japan should start in September. I have two reasons why I think so. First, these days, the world is getting smaller and smaller and I think that it is important for us to look around the world. For example, America has introduced this system for a long time. Considering an increace of people who are American and want to study in Japan, we have to introduce this system quickly. Second, it gose without saying that September is in a fall in Japan and the temperature is a little colder than a spring, so we can concentrate on studying. Thus, I agree that the school year in Japan should start in September and I think what is important is how we make use of this system. (133語)                                                                                          文法面を中心に添削をお願いいたします。宜しくお願いします。

  • 再度自由英作文の添削をお願いします。

    問題1 Crop plants created using the latest biotechnology are commonly called genetically modified (GM) foods. Although GM foods have the potential to solove many problems, some people are concerned about them. For example, in the United States, the world`s largest GM foods producer, labeling of GM foods and food products has been an issue. Agribusiness industries think that labeling should be voluntary. On the other hand, consumer interest groups demand that GM foods products be labeled. If labeling of GM foods is required, however, farmers and factories will raise their prices and there will be addional costs to consumers. Q. Do you think labeling of GM foods should be required? Give your opinion in about 40 words. Answer in English. {ANSWER} I think many consumers want to know what foods we eat every day are like. If I`m in their place, I will feel it uncomfortable that the imformation is hiden. So, I think labeling of GM foods should be required. [40words] 問題2 今日では、作業用、ペット型、人間型など、さまざまな種類のロボットが開発されているが、あなたは将来どのようなロボットにどんなことをしてもらいたいですか?70語程度の英語で述べなさい。 [ANSWER] I want a human robot who take care of personal needs. He always wakes me up on time, always make a breakfast for me, and always clean up in my room. Of course, I not only rely on him, but also sometimes I must do for myself. However, honestly, I`m weak only to wake up and clean up. So I want him to help me to wake up and to clean up. [ 72words] どこか間違っているところや、表現がいまいちなところを教えてください。また、何点くらいか評価の方もお願いいたします。

  • 英検2級、英作文の添削

    最近英検2級の勉強を始めたのですが、英作文の書き方が全然わからず、添削できる知り合いが周りにいなくて悩んでいます。19年度第二回の問題を書いたのですが、添削していただきたいです。大学卒業してからかなりブランクがあるので、おそらくめちゃくちゃです。暴言にならない程度にお願いします。 PS:文章が若干脱線気味ですが、文法とかを見てほしいです。 <Question> Today, some young people do not start working for large companies. Do you think number of these people increase the future? Why Japanese young people don’t want to work for large companies? One of the reason, Japanese Companies often occur Suicide of Employees. This is because Young employees were blamed by their boss. They feel much stress and anxious about their fail. Another reason, Japanese Companies income don’t increase. But their working time is increasing every year. And they cannot have a rest. So, Some Japanese young worker think “We are too much spending time to work, but our income isn’t increase. It is no worth for work for large companies”. It is my opinion. This is because young people don't want to work large companies. What should we do protect increase young people like that? This is problem not only our income but also our mental and work environment. I think we must hear everyone’s opinion and realize it as possible as we can. What is important for work? I think it is not income, with Employees’ Satisfaction. So we can protect increase the people who don’t want to work large companies.

  • 英作文の添削お願いします。

    ふと、今後の世界がどう変わっていくのかを考えてみた。今日の世界において、重要な問題の1つとして、人口増加による食糧不足がある。自分は関係ないと思う人もいるだろう。そのように考える人の気持ちもわかる。私もそのような問題に対して何をすればよいか分からないのである。 I suddenly think about how the state of the affairs in the world will change. Today, there are a lot of problems ,especially the lack of food is serious problem. Maybe many Japanese people think that it does not affect them. I can understand their feeling. I don't know what to do about this problem. あと、どのようにという表現を使う時、howとwhatをどう使うかも教えて頂きたいです。宜しくお願いいたします。