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Cathy: Hey. There she is. Morning, Alice. Alice: Oh. Morning, Cathy. C: How did it go yesterday? Tell me. A: Well... It was not something I expected, but ended up great, I guess.〈g〉 C: What happened, exactly? Come on! A: Okay. We were meeting together at a movie theater... C: Oh? He didn't pick you up? He doesn't drive? A: Sure he does. It's just that his parents don't let him drive alone for now. C: Okay. Then? A: I got there a bit early, so waited for him... drinking some coffee... and when I saw him coming up, my brain stopped... The next moment, he was standing in front of me and saying "Hi", smiling. C: Wow! A: ... Well, I was just swept off my feet by his very cool line of "Hi" and ... I... C: Alice? A: I... spilled coffee on my clothes... C: Oh, no! You okay? Didn't get burned? A: No, it wasn't that hot any more, but... C: I know how you feel, Alice... I'd rather die, if I were you... A: Yeah, I was embarrassed and almost started to cry, actually. But, Cathy, he said to me this way, as he took his jacket off and handed it to me. "Don't you worry. You wanna come to my place to get it cleaned, okay? I know my mom's expecting you to come and would be more than happy to take care of this. And besides, I wanna spend some more time with you. Alice, is it okay to call my mom and ask her to pick us up?" ... I think I'm in love, Cathy... C: He's so sweet! No wonder you never looked better... Well, Alice... I wanna ask you something... He has any brothers? A: Oh, come on! お時間ありましたら、お願い致します。


  • 英語
  • 回答数2
  • 閲覧数85
  • ありがとう数2


  • ベストアンサー
  • 回答No.1
  • akijake
  • ベストアンサー率43% (431/992)

おはようございます! また細かくなるかもしれませんが、気になったところを二つだけ・・・。 Cathy: Hey. There she is. Morning, Alice 最初のここですが、Cathyの他に何人かといて 「ほら、彼女が来たよ」って感じなのでしょうか? もし、Cathyが1人で居るところにAliceが来て、「あら、来たわね」みたいなニュアンスだと、 There you are. を使うかな、と思ったのですが・・・。 前者だろうな、とは思うのですが、後の会話がずっと二人なので気になって一応書いてみました。 meeting together 二人っきりの待ち合わせの時に、あまりこの使い方はしないように思います。 meeting up とかだと自然かなぁと。 あと、これは完全に私が個人的に感じた印象ですが、 You wanna come to my place to get it cleaned, okay? この台詞が妙に強引というか勝手というか・・・な感じがしました。 多分okayのせいでしょうか? okayをつけないほうが、「よかったら来ない?」と相手の意思を気遣ってる印象が出るかもしれません。 うーん、実際に話す時のイントネーションもありますが、単に私がこういう言い方されるのが嫌だからなのかも・・・。 すごい簡単にですが、ご参考まで^^*



akijakeさん、こんにちは。 返信遅くなって申し訳ありません! 回答ありがとうございます。 >Hey. There she is. すみません、これは、 ちょっと離れたところからAliceを見つけて、”あ、来た来た!”の感じです。 そのあと、距離が近づいて"Morning..."です。 書き方悪いですね。 ごめんなさい。 (ちなみにここは2人だけの設定です) >meeting up とかだと自然かなぁと >この台詞が妙に強引というか勝手というか >okayをつけないほうが ありがとうございます! 場面を自分なりに想像して書いているので、 思い込んでいるところも多々あります。 ご意見をいただくことで、自分が書いたものに対して 違った見方をすることができます。 …なんだか、楽しいです。^^ お忙しいなか、いつも本当にありがとうございます! それでは!^^

その他の回答 (1)

  • 回答No.2
  • Yule
  • ベストアンサー率63% (7/11)

添削と言うほどでもない参考意見ですが… 1行目の Cathy: Hey. There she is. Morning, Alice. ですが、 もし「あぁ、いたいた。」と相手を探していて今見つけたというニュアンスでしたら、 Hey を使うよりは Oh,there she is. とOh を使うと自分に呟いているような表現になると思います。 もし独り言ではなく、相手に向けている言葉なのでしたら There you are. にすると自然かもしれません。 4行目のIt was not something I expected, but ended up great, I guess. では、 いきなり it が使われ、それが何を指すのかが分かりづらく少しだけ引っかかりました。 いっそ Something を文頭に持ってきて Something I didn't expect happened, but... なんてやるとより伝わりやすくなるかなぁなんて思いますが、好みの問題かもしれません(^^) 同じく好みの問題かもしれないのですが、 20行目、But, Cathy, he said to me this way, as he took his jacket off and handed it to me. の所は he said to me this way と、「こう言ったの」と言っていますのでどう言ったかがその直後に来ると 会話がよりスムーズになる気がします。 But, Cathy, as he took off his jacket and handed it to me, he said to me this way; ジャケットを脱いで…の下りを現在進行形にしてもまたいいかもしれません。



こんにちは。 アドバイスありがとうございます。 >Oh,there she is. とOh を使うと自分に呟いているような表現に ありがとうございました。 >いっそ Something を文頭に持ってきて いろいろな言い方を覚えられたらいいな、と思っています。 教えてくださった言い方も是非使ってみたいです。 >どう言ったかがその直後に来ると会話がよりスムーズに そうですね。 ここは迷いました。 as以下が長いので、前に出すのをやめてしまいましたが…。 >現在進行形にしてもまたいいかも 以前にこのカテで教えていただいたことがあります。 次回は是非使ってみたいと思います。 お時間いただき、ありがとうございました。^^


  • 自然な会話文になるように、添削をお願いします。-4-

    Kevin: Hi, John. John: Oh, hi. You back late, huh? K: Yeah, it's just a friend get-together. Got some news. Hey, how about you? You enjoyed a movie or just watching her face? J: No movies. She came in here.〈g〉 K: ... What's the matter with you? It's kind of too fast, don't you think? J: Kevin, you got it all wrong. She was in the living room, wearing Mom's clothes.〈g〉 K: ... I'm getting confused. What's going on? Tell me. J: Okay. It's just that she accidentally spilled coffee on her clothes at a theater, so I asked her to come over to get it cleaned. K: Oh, that figures. Okay. J: Kevin, you don't know the half of it... I mean... It turns out that they haven't actually met yet but... they know each other. K: ... Wait a second... Now I remember that she's been having a part-time job at a coffee shop. I heard that today. So maybe it's just because Mom was a regular customer. Right? J: Close. She was not "regular", but "good enough to remember". K: Which means? J: Mom was the customer who spilled coffee at the coffee shop. And Alice was the waitress who took care of that. K: Oh... So they are now even. Right?〈g〉 J: Yeah, exactly. Mom said Alice was very kind to her... Kevin, I found out she really is a nice girl. K: Okay, good... John, consider yourself very lucky to have such a wonderful date, you know what I mean?〈g〉 J: Okay, okay. Thanks for reminding me of that. I'll buy you big lunch tomorrow. K: You got it! お時間ありましたら、お願いします。

  • 自然な会話文になるように、添削をお願いします。-2-

    John: Mom, I'm back! Mom: John? I'm here in the kitchen! (In the kitchen) J: Hi, Mom! M: Hi. You're in a good mood today, John... Oh, you smiling, huh? J: Well, it's just some funny stories somebody told me on the whole way here. M: Oh... It's a girl, right? J: Could be. M: John, I'm so glad you've started dating again. I was a little worried, though. J: Well, technically, it's not a date, Mom. Talking. And I'm not quite sure if I got over it. At least I'm happy just to talk to each other. M: That's a good sign, John. J: She knows everything what happened to me, and still... deeply cares about me. M: Well, that reminds me of something... J: Yeah? M: Your father and I are now great together, but actually he was not my first love. J: I thought he said he was. M: No, he was the one who was always beside me to listen and made me laugh all the time when I broke up with my first love. John, I feel she could be the one. J: Hopefully, she will. Thanks, Mom. M: Well, John, you wanna bring her here this weekend? I'd love to meet her. J: Um... Sorry, Mom, but we're going out together this weekend, I mean, just two of us. M: Well, that's okay. Then, just let me know when you two are ready to come over. Look, don't forget to tell her the door's always open, okay? J: Yeah, sure. M: ... Um... John... How about next weekend, by the way? J: Mom... お時間ありましたら、お願い致します。

  • 自然な会話文になるように、添削をお願いします。

    Kevin: Hi. Looks like busy, huh? Texting? John: Um... Yeah... K: To whom? J: ... Nobody... K: Hey, hey, it wouldn't happen to be her. Don't tell me you started to text her again. J: ... K: Answer quick. J: Well, I'm just wishing there is a way that... I could have another chance... K: Come on! You just don't understand, do you? If you keep doing this thing, he's gonna show up right in front of you at any minute. What would you do then? Think you can handle it? J: ... Whatever... K: John, I know you had your heart broken badly and I feel really sorry about it. But, look, you two are NEVER getting back together and you know it. You have to face it. Just forget about her and live again. J: Well, that's easy for you to say... K: I'll tell you what. John, there are millions of girls out there waiting for you, I promise. I think it's about time to go out. (the cell ringing) K: It's your date, John. J: What do you mean, "my date"? K: I gave Alice your number. J: You mean you fix me up? K: No, I mean, she's been interested in you for million years, that's all. You know, she sure is a lot of fun to hang out with. I bet you have a good time. Come on! What are you waiting for? Answer it! J: Well... Okay, I'll speak to her. K: Okay! Go for it! John, you are gonna owe me so big for this if you can make it, remember that? よろしくお願いします。

  • 日記風に、昨日の事を英語で書いてみました、添削をおねがいしたいのです。

    Hi,Crystal! Sorry, I did not come here for a long day. I know I have to talk with you everyday for my dream. You know my dream, don't you. Everyday I say in my heart like this, “I want to learn and I want to speak English when I get a chance to go to US someday!”This is my dream. You help me a lot about it! I have been thanking you, Crystal! BTW, yesterday was the special day for me. Do you want to know what was the day yesterday? It was the wedding anniversary. I could hear “Congratulations!” Thank you, Crystal! Yesterday was day-off for me and my husband. So we played golf in Gunma prefecture. It was far a way to my home. But I could see mountains with snow and mountains covered with new green leaves. And cute and beatiful flowers! Everything were so beautiful! I wanted to show them to you. We touched a lot of natures not only played golf. It was a nice and special day. I have been thanking that we are well. I hope it will be forever. Wow,It is 11:55. I have to prepare a lunch for my family! Have a nice Sunday, Crystal!

  • 自然な英語表現をご指導ください。(ルームメイト2人の会話文です)

    Patty: Hey, you back early tonight. Changed your plan? Nancy: ... Patty: Um... Are you crying, by any chance? What happened to you? You wanna talk? ... Wait a second... Well... It wouldn't happen to be something about Bob? Nancy: ... How do you know that? Patty: Well, I'd say I know you better than you do yourself, my friend. So, what did he say? Nancy: ... He said... He wants to break it off... Patty: Mm-hmm. He gave you any reason? Nancy: ... He said... He's got someone else... He's been hanging around with her for the last couple of months... Patty: Mm-hmm. And you back home all the way crying... All right, what are you gonna do then? Nancy: I don't even know what to do. Patty: Listen, Nancy, I'll tell you what. You know what your problem is? As far as I know, you are really flat-out for months when it comes to him. Nancy: No, I'm not. I just... Patty: Yes, you really are. And I want you to know this is the second time. Are you gonna do this again or what? You have to think about it. Look, I don't wanna see you cry to sleep any more. Nancy: ... Patty, you may be right, but I just did everything for him... Patty: I know, I know. It's just that you need to learn how to hang back a little bit in case when you meet someone else next time, okay? Just count on me. Everything's gonna be okay. Nancy: ... You think that's gonna work? Patty: Sure. Nothing to be worried about, Nancy. All right, then, you have two choices tonight. Which do you prefer? Either spend the whole night crying alone or go for a drink together? よろしくお願いいたします。

  • 【英語】作文の添削お願いします 

    テーマ:印象に残っている贈り物 Most impressing present in my life is a watch that my father gave me when I passed the exam to enter the high school. My father used the watch before I was born, and he wouldn't put away it even though he was given a new watch by my mother and sister. I think the watch will have been very important for my father. So, I was very surprised when he gave it to me. At first, I hesitated to receive it, but I received it in the end because my father said with smiling that "I use this new watch". The watch was what my mother and sister gave him. My watch and my father's watch is very different because mine is very old and father's is new. However both of them are filled with love of my family. 文法や構成について指摘してください。

  • クエスチョンマークをつけるだけの疑問文

    Cathyが半年以上も前に求職の申し込みをした会社から突然電話が来て、面接を行う知らせを受け、喜んですぐさま夫のSimonの職場に電話をかけて、夫に電話をかけ直させる場面の会話です。 Simon:Hello darling. You want me to call you back? Cathy: Guess what? I've got an interview with Online. Simon: That's wonderful news! Hello? Speak louder. I'm on my mobile. Cathy: You know I sent my CV to them six months ago? Well this morning I was doing the housework the phone rang. It was the personal director himself. He said he wants me to go to York next week. I'm so excited! I really wasn't expecting this. Simon: Darling, I must go. Tell me all about it this evening. Goodbye. そこで質問です。英語では疑問文を作る場合、動詞がbe動詞や助動詞の場合は主語と倒置し、それ以外は頭にdoをつけますが、Cathyのセリフで“You know I sent my CV to them six months ago?”のところは、 ピリオドをクエスチョンマークに変えただけですが、 こういう疑問文はよく用いられるんでしょうか? それから、携帯電話のことは cell-phoneも全く同じように使えるんでしょうか? また、personal directorは前の会話では human resourses managerという用語が使われていましたが、directorとmanagerは何が違うんでしょうか?

  • 会話文問題

    会話文で分からないものがあります。お助けいただければと思います。センターの過去問かと思いますが、正解は(3)ということです。正直、どれもよさそうな気がします。wish と hope の差異を教えていただければと思います。また、can と will の差異も教えていただければと思います。 A:marie, I've got a couple of tickets for a concert this evening. Why don't you come with me? B:Oh,( ) but I've got homework to finish by tomorrow. (1)I hope I can  (2)I hope I will (3)I wish I could (4)I wish I would あと、下の問題ですが、正解は what を使う方らしいです。how と what の差異を教えていただければと思います。 A:Mother! I found a walllet on my way home today. B:Is that right?(     ) A:I took it to the police station near my school. Good for you! (1)How did you do it? (2)What did you do with it?

  • 添削お願いします

    問題 「あなたがこれまで誰かからもらったもので、心に残っているものにどんなものがありますか。ひとつ挙げて、その理由とともに70語程度の英語で述べなさい。」 回答 「A close friend once made a casual remark to me that turned out to be a memorable present.I was broken-hearted because I`d been rejected by a girl.I`d been depressed for days when he said to me,``Nobody will ever like you if you always look depressed.Forget her and find something that is really important to you!`` Those words opened my eyes and I began to apply myself to my studies.」

  • 会話文なんですが和訳お願いします!

    I thought, oh, yeah, Warren Beatty, yeah, yeah. Okay, then I sat opposite Warren Beatty, and I was this mesmerized, little school girl. 話し手は女性でインタビューを受けてる状況なんですが彼女の話はこれだけなんです… 前文は“長年、未婚だったプレイボーイのWarren Beatty(俳優)がついに結婚した”といった内容です。 yeahとかokayが何のことを言ってるのかよくわかりません(^_^;) わかりにくいと思いますが、宜しくお願いします!