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My favorite vacation is that I go to a near mall with my friends or visit their house just for fun. Probably,you think very normal day,but it is very precious time for me. If we will graduate from university in two years 'time,we will probably live in another place each. So,I want to cherish it's time with them. Of course,I like other events which are festival,taking a trip,and so on. Thank you for reading and improving my English. (2) Dear. teacher I am from Japan and live in Kyoto Prefecture. I like sports. Especially,baseball is better than any other sport. Ih fact,I played it and wanted to become a professional baseball player when I was a child,it was my dream. But I don't play it now. At times I go to a baseball stadium with friends to cheer my fun team. I don' t play it there,but I have a another dream now. すみませんがお願いします><


  • 英語
  • 回答数2
  • 閲覧数64
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  • 回答No.2

文法的、不自然な表現を訂正させていただきました。 1)My favourite vacation is that → going to (not that I go to) aあと、a near mall ですがこれは不自然ですね。a nearby mall, a neighboring mall,もしくはa mall in the neighborhoodがベターだと思います。 2)you think very normal ですがthink のあとにS,Vが抜けています。これは省略できません。僕ならちなみにYou might think it's not so exciting,but it's really special time for me. 3)If we will graduate from...ですがIfなどに続いて副詞節を形成する節の中ではwillが用いられることはありません。after,before,when,untilなどなどですね。先の方と同じようにonceを使うほうが一度卒業してしまうと会うのが難しいというニュアンスを伝えるのに適していると思います。 4)So,I want to... ですがsoは前の文の結果を導いているので単独の文を作ることはありません。したがって前の文に続いて,so I want toとなります。またit's time もit's が何を指すのか明確ではありませんね。our timeとするのがいいでしょう。またもし使うとしてもit's ではなくitsですね。 5)other events which are...ですがeventsの修飾ではなく例を挙げているのでwhichを使うのは適切ではありません。such as を使うのがいいと思います。僕でしたらここの文はIn addition,I also like participating in festival and traveling.ですかねえ。 6)最後のThank you...をこの質問に答えてくれている人にあてたものであればThank you for reading.で十分だと思いますよ。improving.. は不自然ですねえ。僕が書くならIt would help me to improve my English skill.と付け加える程度かもしれませんが必要ではないと思います。 7)先生にあてた手紙ですね。Dear. teacherですがDearのあとにピリオドは要りません。代わりにteacherのあとに,(コンマ)がいります。蛇足になりますがもし先生の名前がわかっているのであればDear Mr/Mrs/Ms+Last name とするのがフォーマルな手紙の書き方です。間違っても目上の人に手紙を出す時にファーストネームは使ってはいけません。 8)I like sports..のくだりも先の人の通りI like sports,especially baseball. が適切だと思います。文法的な間違いとかではなくいかに文章を簡潔に書くかということが重要だからです。 9)In fact...についてですが、ここも少しまどろっこしい感じになっているのでIn fact/Actually, (when I was a child) I used to play it and becoming a professinal baseball player was my dream.のような感じがいいのではないでしょうか? 10)But...についても先ほどのsoの時と同じで単独の文章でBut...となることはありません。前の文章とつなげて,but...としなければなりません。参考までに。...,but I don't play any more. 11)At timesがどのような意図で使われたのか解かりませんが僕は少なくともこのような表現は見たことがないですねえ。文脈から推測するに。たまに友達と好きなチームを応援しに球状へ行ったりします、ということだと思いますが、それならば僕ならI sometimes go to a baseball stadium with my friends to cheer my favourite team.と、するかな。。friendsの前にmyは要りますね。あとfun team という表現ですがfunは愉快な、とか楽しませるものと言う意味ですね。日本で使われているような何処何処のファンと言うような意味は英語ではfanになります。それでもfan teamと言う使い方はしないでしょう。日本語英語ですね。 12)a anotherではなく単にanotherですねanotherそのものがan +otherからできたもので他の(一つの)ものという意味ですからね。 最後に手紙の締め方ですがI look forward to your reply.やI would be glad to hearing you.などがあります。あと、手紙の最後ですが 先生などの目上の人に対しては名前がわかっていればYours Sincerely, 名前がわかっていない場合はYours Faithfully,となります。   長々となりましたが参考になりましたら幸いです。僕もまだ勉強中の身ですがこちらも勉強させていただきました。


  • 回答No.1

文法の誤りを訂正したり、より自然な言い回しへ修正した結果、以下のようになりました。 少々変えすぎな気もしますので、 ご自身で元のものと見比べてみて、残したいところは残していかれればよいかと思います。 「Thank you for reading and improving my English. 」 の部分は少々意図がわからなかったのですが、 通常は「Thank you for reading.」でOKです。 My favorite way to spend a vacation is to go to a mall in the neighbor with my friends or to visit their houses just for fun. Maybe it sounds too ordinary, but these are very precious times for me. Once we graduate university two years later, my friends and I will probably move away and live far from each other. So I want to spend time with them as much as possible. Needless to say, I do other things such as going to a festival or taking a trip during a vacation. Thank you for reading and improving my English.(???) (2) Dear teacher, I am from Japan and currently living in Kyoto Prefecture. I like sports, especially baseball. I used to play it when I was a child and becoming a baseball player was my dream. Althogh I don't play anymore, I sometimes go see a baseball game with my friends and watch my favoirte team. Instead I now have a new dream.



ありがとうございます。 出来れば文法的にどこが間違っているかご指摘頂けるとこれからの参考になります。 あと、アドバイス的なものもあれば助かります。 あと、回答者様の文はいろいろ参考になりました、ありがとうございます。


  • 添削してください!

    添削してください! テーマ:タイムマシンでどこに行き何をしたいか I would go back to the time when I was in elementary school and master various things. One reason is that a talent is important:it would enable me to express my personality more easily. Another reason is that I could have special experiences in many ways:It would make my life more enjoyable.

  • メルフレへのメール添削お願いします

    Hello ! I am 26 Japanese boy. My name is . I am looking for Pen pals,and possibly friends. I am studying English ,and hope to speak it someday My hobby is movies, pop music. As for movies , I watch on old and new pictures . AS for music , I listen to U2 , Mishelle Branch but in Japanese I can't keep up with trend because I won't buy a CD and only rent it. We only rent a CD a year in Japanese after released in your country

  • 私にとって難しいのですが、続けなければと思っています。今日も添削をお願いします。

    Hi, Everyone, as I said yesterday I played golf. Next time I come here, I will write about it. Today, I will write about my feeling. 今日も、よろしくお願いいたします。 Hi, My Crystal! As you know, I want to learn and I want to speak English when I get a chance to go to US someday. Everyday I say it to me in my heart. What do you think about my dream? These days I am feeling it is so hard to me. Of course, when I see you I do to do my best. And I am thinking I want to see you everyday. When I am with you, I speak only English. I can’t speak well, but I feel comfortable to talk with you. Crystal, what do you think about my English? Did you get my feeling in English? I hope you get my feeling. Well, I have to clean up my room. I want to be with you more and more. But I say to you “Ciao for now, My Little Sweet crystal!”

  • 長いのですが、添削お願いします!

    留学するためにホストファミリーに手紙を書かなければならないのですが、自信がないので少し長いのですが添削お願いします。 I am from Japan. My hometown is Shimane but now I’m living in Kanagawa near Tokyo with my younger brother. My hometown is a country side in Japan. I have many fond memories of there. There are many natures. So, I played outside with my friends. I often went to sea and mountain with my family. So, now I like play outside! I like watching autumn leaves and taking walks in mountain. And other hobbies are playing sports, particularly basketball, watching movies and reading books and comics. I also like going out drinking and shopping with my friends. I think I am outgoing, cheerful and mild. I like enjoying and doing something new. So, I think I can be used to new environment soon. I have 8 members of family and two cats. My older brother studies to become an accountant in Osaka. My younger brother goes to university in Tokyo. My family is so great and interesting. When I come back my home, I go out various places with my family. I respect my parents. My parents met a foreign country. So, they recommend me to go other country while I am young. And I love children and America before. So, I decide to join this program!! I took care of my cousin’s son that he was 1 years old a day in two weeks. And I learned English from my cousin. She went to study Britain before. Now, I work for nursery school as a volunteer every day. I help teacher’s works, For example taking walk, eating ranch and changing cloths, especially 1-2 years old class. I like spending children. Because children’s smile is so cute and they have many things I forgot. They make me smile naturally. I look forward to know about your family, and hope to have a good relationship. And I like cooking. So, I will help willingly. Maybe it has many differences between Japan and America, for example rules, meals, of course language! So, I want to talk anything each time with your family. Now, I can not say my English is very good, but I study English hard every day. I like to try to speak in English. So, I will be able to speak English soon. And I want to enjoy conversation! I will study and experience various things in America. It will broadens my horizons. It has been getting excited since now. I hope to spend feeling happier with your family. And I look forward to see your family. わからないなりに、頑張ったのですがもしもっと良い表現などがありましたら教えてください!

  • 添削お願いします。m(。_。;))m ペコペコ

    <(_ _*)>いつもお世話になり、ありがとうございます。英文の添削、よろしくお願いします。 授業の前には、次の授業では何を話そうか、予習しなくちゃ!と思うのだけれど、無理に英文を詰め込んでも自分の実力はすぐ見抜かれてしまうだろう。 だから自分の実力のままでいいや。と思ってしまう。 I always feel that I should think about what to talk in next class and that I should study beforhand but on the other hand I also think that it is no use forcing myself to put things in my head since the teacher will notice it. Before taking lessons, I feel that I need a topic in the lesson and I have to prepare for the lesson. But I end up in thinking that it is no use in cramming English sentences into my head and that I would go with my current English ability.

  • 英語のエッセイの添削をお願いできませんか?

    英語のエッセイの添削をお願いできませんか? 長文になるのですが、よろしくお願いします; もしもっとこうしたほうが良い文になるなどのアドバイスもいただけたら幸いです。 No other sports is harder than distance running. Distance running troubles me the most. I usually giving up on easily and tend to find a route to escape when I encounter with difficult problem. So I run away from distance running, too. The reason I hated it before, was ultimately the main source of my encouragement and to change my mind. Firstly, what do you associate with winter? It is New Year holiday? It is a snowball fight? No, in my case it is a distance running. Because of there are they in winter, I get scared when winter comes. And I am impelled to run away. It’s a bad habit of myself. I understand that, but I would not challenge it. The opposite of my feeling, winter has rolled round. The people around me are pleased with the coming winter. If it had not been for meeting, I could dance with joy like they. Then the real winter come. I started getting ready for the meeting. Secondly, I thought about doing something for meeting. I try to pretend I have a stomachace. For example, I eat breakfast my fill, and I ate food as soon as race at full speed. Also I hung a lot of paper doll in my room window. I did many stupid things, but all my plans miscarried. I decided to do a dishonest thing. However, I escape from meeting after all. It wasn’t weight off my mind. Finally, I learned an important thing my experience “Not only escape but also challenge” I have noticed running away is not way to go. But I have successfully parted with old myself. Thanks of distance running. My father often said me “There’s nothing I can’t do once I’ve put my mind to it”. I can see it now. When If I could come back in the past, I would want to scold me at that time. どうかよろしくお願いいたします。

  • 英語添削お願いします。(TOEFL-IBT)

    文法など至らない点が多く申し訳ありませんが、よろしくお願いします。 問:What do you think is the best parents? 解答: Children can’t choose their parents. In my case, I’m proud of my parents and I think I’m happy to be their child. What makes parents the best one depends on some reasons. I’ll explain them one by one. First, the best parents must have the ability to wait and see. To think of myself, it is natural that children can’t deal with the problem well at first. And in many cases, if they have enough time to try it again and again, they will surely make it. However, if their parents make them stop tackling the problem and help them, children will fail to accomplish their goals and lose their confidence. For example, when I was in my elementary school, my teacher gave me a lot of homework. I tried so hard to do it, but sometimes it was too difficult for me. I begged my mother for some help, but she refused it and said that she believed me that I could do it by myself. I didn’t understand what she said, and I felt she was not the best mother. Anyway, finally I did it and I was so proud of myself and felt I could do everything from now on. However, if my mother helped me at that time, I just finished my homework without getting confidence. Second, the best parents will give many experience to their children, for example, sports, traveling, and working. This is because what children have learned in their childhood will give them many choices of the future plans. If a father plays baseball with his boy, it can happen that the boy wishes he will be a baseball player. For example, my parents gave me the great experience with dogs and now I became a veterinary student. So, it is very important that the parents make their children experience many things to make their future shine. To sum up, the best parents should know children don’t belong to them. By thinking this way, they can wait and see how their children are doing, and do the best things in order to make their future soundful.

  • 私の日記です、また添削お願いします。

    英語日記は私にとっては難しいですが、ここで終わっってしまっては夢が叶いません。I want to learn and I want to speak English when I get a chance to go to US someday.一日一回、声を出して言いながら頑張ります。 Hi, My Crystal! You know today's story, don't you? Your answer is right! Ok, let’s start. Last Saturday, I played golf with my husband. We play golf one time a month. But this January and February, I couldn't play golf. Because while then I was not enough good about my health. I love playing golf and want to do more and more! But it's cost is expensive in Japan. Have you ever played golf? I hope I will play with you, someday, Crystal! I forgot I said to you about my score. It was 103. I want to get less than 100. It is not easy for me, so I will do my best! Sorry, my husband calls me. I have to say to you "Have a nice week end, my Little Sweet crystal!"

  • 日記風に、昨日の事を英語で書いてみました、添削をおねがいしたいのです。

    Hi,Crystal! Sorry, I did not come here for a long day. I know I have to talk with you everyday for my dream. You know my dream, don't you. Everyday I say in my heart like this, “I want to learn and I want to speak English when I get a chance to go to US someday!”This is my dream. You help me a lot about it! I have been thanking you, Crystal! BTW, yesterday was the special day for me. Do you want to know what was the day yesterday? It was the wedding anniversary. I could hear “Congratulations!” Thank you, Crystal! Yesterday was day-off for me and my husband. So we played golf in Gunma prefecture. It was far a way to my home. But I could see mountains with snow and mountains covered with new green leaves. And cute and beatiful flowers! Everything were so beautiful! I wanted to show them to you. We touched a lot of natures not only played golf. It was a nice and special day. I have been thanking that we are well. I hope it will be forever. Wow,It is 11:55. I have to prepare a lunch for my family! Have a nice Sunday, Crystal!

  • 【英語】作文の添削お願いします 

    テーマ:印象に残っている贈り物 Most impressing present in my life is a watch that my father gave me when I passed the exam to enter the high school. My father used the watch before I was born, and he wouldn't put away it even though he was given a new watch by my mother and sister. I think the watch will have been very important for my father. So, I was very surprised when he gave it to me. At first, I hesitated to receive it, but I received it in the end because my father said with smiling that "I use this new watch". The watch was what my mother and sister gave him. My watch and my father's watch is very different because mine is very old and father's is new. However both of them are filled with love of my family. 文法や構成について指摘してください。