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英文添削して下さい

5つの文章でストーリーになっています。よろしくお願いします。 1.私の友達がスリに遭いそうになったことがあります。 My friend was about to be robbed his purse. 2.何人かで地下鉄に乗ろうと階段を降りていたときのことでした。 It was the time that my friends and I was going down the stairs. 3.私の友達はズボンのポケットに財布をいれていました。 One of my friends’ purse was at his hip pocket. 4.私の友だちによると、ある男がその財布に手を伸ばそうとしていたといいました。 One of them told me that the man was going to reach out his purse. 5.その友達が止めたおかげで、財布を盗まれることはありませんでした。 Because my friend stopped the pickpocketer, my friend was not robbed his purse.

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これで通じます。ただ、注意が必要なのは、友だちが何人かいて、文中どの友だちの事を言っているのかわからなくなることがあることと、どのサイフの事を言っているのか曖昧になること。代名詞、所有格、冠詞の使い方に気を使ったほうが良いと思います。 1.私の友達がスリに遭いそうになったことがあります。 My friend was about to be robbed his purse. → robは、盗むにしても強盗、強奪なのでスリの時には、pickpocketのpickが良いと思います。 One of my friend had his purse almost picked before. One of としたのは、2にfriends (友達たち)が出てくるので、はっきり別けるためで必ずしも必要ではないです。 2.何人かで地下鉄に乗ろうと階段を降りていたときのことでした。 It was the time that my friends and I was going down the stairs. → 良いと思いますが、下記のようにした方が自然です。 That was when I and some of my friends including him/her were going down stairs at a subway station to catch a train. 3.私の友達はズボンのポケットに財布をいれていました。 One of my friends’ purse was at his hip pocket. → この友だちは既出なので、ここではもうHe かsheで良いです。それと at はin にするべき。 His purse was put in his hip-pocket at that time. 4.私の友だちによると、ある男がその財布に手を伸ばそうとしていたといいました。 One of them told me that the man was going to reach out his purse. → ここでは別の友だちのが見ていたことと言うことなので、Another friendが簡単です。the manはスリでしょうが、初めて出てきたので、a man、a pickpocket またはa thief。his purse とすると、スリのサイフともとられるので、シンプルにthe purseでよいです。既に既出でズボンの尻ポケットに入っていることがわかっているのでthe。それと、後で聞いた話であればtold me laterにした方が良いですね。 Another friend there told me later that he/she saw a pickpocket reached his arm to grab the purse. 5.その友達が止めたおかげで、財布を盗まれることはありませんでした。 Because my friend stopped the pickpocketer, my friend was not robbed his purse. → ここでmy friendと言っているのは、4.でスリがサイフをとろうとしているのを見た友だちですよね?my friendとだけ言うと盗まれそうになった友だちかどうかわからないので、この場合, that friendと言えば良いです。そうするとその直前に目撃者の友だちのことを言っているので、”その友だち”であることがわかります。それからスリはpickpocketで良いです。 Because that friend stopped the pickpocket, the purse was safe and not picked. 英語的には、言いたい主文を前に持って来たほうが良いので、友だちが止めたことを言いたいのであれば、例えば叫んで止めたのであれば、 That friend shouted to stop the pickpocket, and the purse was safe in the pocket. 盗まれなかったことを言いたいのであれば、 In the end, the purse was safe and stayed in the pocket because that friend shouted to stop the pickpocket. 参考になれば。

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