鳥羽伊勢の旅日記添削をおねがいいたします。

質問

文章をつないで作れないかったり、うまく英語表現できないので、
教えて下さい。

We went to Toba Ise tour for a one day trip.
We ate grill oyster,flyed oyster,oyster risotto,low yellow tail , low Ise lobster and stuffed
I was enjoying.
After that,
We have visited Ise shrine since 2years .
Japanese custom is 2 bow 1 applause 1 bow in shrine.
I met big and obedient cat at Ohayai street entrance.
If the usual I ate akafuku zanzai ,ise udon,ikaten,takoten,chease ten but I can't it.
I was full.
I bought Akafuku for souvenir.

今日は久しぶりに鳥羽伊勢グルメ三昧の旅（日帰り）に行って来ました。
鳥羽では、焼き牡蠣・カキフライ・カキ雑炊・ブリのお刺身や伊勢海老のお刺身など食べちゃいました。海の幸満喫(^_^)v
その後、２年ぶりに伊勢神宮参拝しに行きました。
相変わらずすごい人でした。
２礼２拍手１礼ですよね？
おはらい街の入り口でとっても大きくておとなしい猫が招いてくれました。
いつもはおかげ横丁まで行って赤福ぜんざい食べて、伊勢うどん食べて、イカ天・たこ天・チーズ天のどれかを食べるのですが、今日はおなか一杯で食べれなかったよ～んo(*´д`*)oブンブン
お土産はもちろん赤福でした。

回答No.1

mabomk · ベストアンサー

主語が「I」「We」ばかりとなると、一寸文章を読む興味が失せるかも知れないので、
趣を変えて書き換えてみました。

After a long time we made a day trip to Ise-Shima area, just
for eating ! At Toba, oyster was our main eating target, we
enjoyed oyster in baked, fried style, also in risotto.
Further, we enjoyed sashimi of lobster. We were so happy with
all that seafood. After that, of course, we prayed at Ise
Shrine, it was since 2-years ago from last prayer. The place
was so crowded as usual. Of course I know traditional way of
prayer, 2 bows 1 applause 1 bow at shrine.

At entrance gate of Oharai quarter, I found one big but gentle
cat was sitting as if welcoming us. Normally there at Okage
quarter, we used to take Akafuku mochi and Udon, and one of
deep-fried cuttlefish and octopus.

However, even though we were big eater, we could not take
them this time, in fact we were so full up, what’s a pity !
ha ha! But I never forgot to buy same old Akafuku mochi for
souvenir to my family.

当日の天候や同行者のことも書くと思い白いかも知れませんね!

小生添削は苦手につき、お代官様、お願げーでございます、これでご
勘弁下さい。使えそうなフレーズ有れば、持ち帰って下さい。

回答No.2

nicole421

oyster----->oysters
海の幸満喫--->Oh, I love seafood!
I enjoyed seafood.
2年ぶりの参拝---->It has been 2 years since i went there last time.

there were so many people as usual

we bow twice...../2 bows

There was a big cat inviting me at the entrance of Oharai street.

いつもは～～の部分はいつものことを述べるので過去形ではなく現在形　Usually, I eat.....,となります。
I was so full that I couldn't eat anything.