Stuck in a state of confusion: My husband is constantly making obscene comments to me and our children

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  • Q: My husband constantly makes obscene comments to me and our children, and insults our boys by saying they are not his biological children.
  • A: You should leave your husband and seek legal help to protect your children from his abusive behavior. Find support from organizations like the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and consider opening a bank account in your name to save money for leaving your marriage.
  • Hashtags: #domesticviolence #protectyourchildren #findsupport #leavingabusivepartner #financialindependence
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現在完了形

Q. Stuck in a state of confusion: My husband is constantly making obscene comments to me and our children. He tells other people that our boys are not his, that they are from my first marriage, and that he only had them so that they would do all of the things he doesn’t want to do. I cannot begin to tell you how badly this hurts both me and my children, because they are his biological children and he knows that. He is constantly yelling at them, cursing at them, and threatening them, and if I intervene, he starts yelling at me too! I’ve suggested marriage counseling, and he laughed and told me to go by myself. So I have been, for six months. My therapist thinks that I should divorce him, but I am not in a financial position to leave. I have no family that I can stay with, and we just moved to a new state, and I don’t know anyone around here that would be able to accommodate three extra people. Once I graduate from school I will be able to support all of us, but I don’t know if I should wait to graduate or drop out of college with a year left to find a full-time job. Help! A: That you should leave your husband is without question. If he is going so far as to threaten your children, you absolutely should divorce him and sue for sole custody. The less your sons remember of him, the better off they will be; however, I want you to be prepared and in the strongest emotional and financial situation possible when you go. Find your local chapter of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence—it can help you with a job search and finding an affordable place to live. Consult the National Domestic Violence Pro Bono Directory to find low-cost or free legal advice. If you live in a community property state, you are entitled to half of the assets acquired during your marriage. The Allstate Foundation offers a free “financial empowerment” service to people leaving abusive relationships; you may also find this helpful. If you have not started one already, open a bank account in your own name and put away whatever you can for your getting-the-hell-out-of-Dodge fund. If you have friends back in your home state you can trust, consider asking for financial support as you prepare to leave your marriage. Do not drop out of college until you have found work, but make leaving your marriage your highest priority. until you have found workはなぜ現在完了形なのでしょうか?until you find workではいけないのでしょうか?よろしくお願いします

  • corta
  • お礼率76% (4114/5348)
  • 英語
  • 回答数3
  • ありがとう数4

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  • Nakay702
  • ベストアンサー率80% (9717/12085)
回答No.4

>until you have found workはなぜ現在完了形なのでしょうか?until you find workではいけないのでしょうか? ⇒単純形でも意味が通じる場合でも、単に「行為の完了を強調するために」完了系時制を使うことがあります。 つまり、until you find workでも意味は通じますが、「仕事が見つかる(見つかってしまう)までは」と、完了を強調するためにわざわざ現在完了形を使っているのだと思います。 ☆経済的優位を盾にとって相棒に罵声を浴びせたり暴力を振るったりする連れ合いがいます。DVの典型です。この場合の「私」(妻、相手との息子2人あり。大学最終学年在籍)も、その被害に耐えかねての相談のようです。アドバイザーは各種の公的援助機関を紹介した上で、親権を引き取って離婚することを勧めています。 一方、本人は「大学をやめて働くべきか、フルタイムの仕事を探すために一年残って大学を卒業するか」迷っているようです。その点についてアドバイザーは、Do not drop out of college until you have found work, but make leaving your marriage your highest priority.「(少なくとも)仕事が見つかるまでは大学をやめないように。それより離婚することが優先事項です」と忠告しています。 ということは、繰り返しますが、「仕事が見つかって、経済的な見通しを立てることが完全に完了してしまうまでは大学をやめないように」と、《仕事を手に入れることの完了》を強調するために現在完了形が使われている、ということになります。

corta
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ご回答ありがとうございます

その他の回答 (2)

  • koncha108
  • ベストアンサー率49% (1312/2665)
回答No.3

find work は仕事を見つける、仕事に就くと言う意味の他に、仕事を探すと言う意味もあります。一方でhave found workだと、仕事を探す、見つけるのを完了するわけですから、確実に仕事に就くことになります。 until you find workでもこの場合誤解は無いですが、はっきりさせるにはhave found workの方が良いと思います。 完了形は現在に至る過去を含んだことで主に使われるので違和感があるかも知れませんが、未来の出来事でその時に完了していることに対しても使われます。場合によっては will have 過去分詞 みたいな使い方もあります。

corta
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お礼

ご回答ありがとうございます

  • cbm51901
  • ベストアンサー率67% (2671/3943)
回答No.1

違いは、 "until you find work" で「(あなたが)仕事を見つけるまで」 "until you have found work" で「(あなたの)仕事が見つかるまで」 だと思います。 ”find work” は「仕事を見つける」という動作 "have found work" は「仕事が見つかった」、つまり「仕事を見つける」という目的を達成するまでの(過去における)過程をも含めた表現になるのだと思います。

corta
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ご回答ありがとうございます

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