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TOEFLのSPEAKINGテスト関連

TOEFLのSPEAKINGテスト関連 お願いします、以下設問に答えたとして私の英語は正しいでしょうか What was your favorite movie of the last year? Use details and examples to explain what you liked about the movie. My favorite movie of the last year is Doraemon movie. My son and I went to a theater. Actually, the movie was for children; however I enjoyed the movie as well. It tells the story of that a boy and a tree’s relationship, seemingly, it appeal just environmental problem but also it raise questions about how do you protect your important thing. One day, Plant type alien noticed human being had been destroying the environment in order to benefit themselves, so they had planned to attack the earth to protect their blood brother. I though that this is good movie to think environment, if we do not conserve the nature, we would be regretted in the future. We have to act in concert and hammer out a solution to conserve them. もう少し詳しく言いたいのですが私の英語レベルだと45秒の短い時間で130文字前後しか言えないので簡単に述べてみました。尚上記映画はドラえもん のびたと緑の巨人・・なんとかです

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回答No.1

トーフルは一回しか受けたことがないので、偉そうなことはかけませんが、  the movie was for children;    この ; は、ここに入ってはおかしいのではないでしょうか?一般的なこととして。  以前はトーイックなんか毎月受けていましたが、アメリカに来てからは、高いと感じるので、やめました。  そのかわり、メールなんか購読しています。  こういった基本を教えてくれるネイテイブサイトのメール購読です。  I though  の though は、こういう位置には来にくいかなあ  文頭か、文末にくるかなあ。  でも、in concert なんて口頭で言えるのはすごいと思います。   私はコノ手のが苦手ですから。   まあ、がんばってください。   

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