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息子へのメッセージ・・・ 英作文の添削お願いします。
Shimo-pyの回答
- Shimo-py
- ベストアンサー率61% (170/275)
No.002の続きです。 ◆（※３） But,you are being influenced by any and all of events and people that exist throughout the world. だけどあなたは世界中に存在するありとあらゆる出来事と人々に影響されているんだよ。 （※３） But,you are being influenced by any and all of them. だけどあなたはそれら全てに影響されているんだよ。 Because,one thing leads to another ,and all those are linked together like beads. 一つのことが別のきっかけとなり、それらはすべてお互い数珠つなぎにリンクし合っているんだから・・・。 →どちらかいうと※３は二番目のほうがいいのですが、them を使うことでやや弱いかな。 But を文頭に置くのは、英文としてはよくありません。 ～なんだよ、というのは、よく覚えておいてね、の意ですから、Remember の命令文が妥当。 → Because の英文は厳密には文法的に好ましくなく、It is because ... にしたほうがいいです。私なら、Because も It is because もつけません。 → all those は all things のほうがきれい。 こんなまとめかたもあります。 Remember that you are under the influence of everything in the universe. One thing leads to another, and all things are strung together like beads. ◆Ｉn days of adversity, let's widen the scope to see your situation in a new light ！ 逆境のときには視野を広げて新しい面を見てみよう！ → 「～しよう」を let's とするのはおかしい。なぜなら let's は、「一緒に」～しようの意だからです。ここは、「～するようにつとめなさい」の意ですから、try ～ing を使います。 widen より broaden が普通かな。そして the scope は your scope じゃないかな。 horizen なんかも使えます。 → to see ～ は so that you can see ～ がいい。 目的をあらわすto 不定詞というのは、ちょっとこういうメッセージの中では弱いからです。 so that を使うことで、「～できるように」という意味と、「そうすれば～できるよ」という意味が込められます。your situation は、yourself のほうが英文は引き締まります。 代案 （後者のほうが、単刀直入で力強いです。） In days of adversity, try broaden your scope so that you can see yourself in a new light ! あるいは In days of adversity, try seeing yourself in a new light. ◆When you're happy, let's thank even someone who is on the other side of the world! うれしいときには地球の裏側で暮らす人にまで感謝しちゃおう！ → さっきと同じ理由で let's は不可。 → 個人的な好みにもよりますが、文体論として、you're という省略形がここで突然出るのは、急に英文の格が落ちたように映ります。（ここまで there's とか there're がなかったのに） → someone は不可。これは誰かひとり、という意味になります。 代案 When you are happy, thank everyone, even those who live on the other side of the world. （world の代わりに globe も可） 幸せなときは、みんなに感謝しなさい、地球の裏側に住んでいる人たちに対してさえも。 ◆Well,but first of all, can you tell us. でもまあその前に・・・、まず私達に話してよ。 ◆We've always been there for you. 私達はいつだってあなたのそばにいるから！ → 不可。完了形にすると、「今までずっとそばにいた」の意で、今後もずっとの意にはなりません。 We are always with you. がちょうどいい。 ◆Above all things , there is nothing more wonderful than being able to interact directly. なんといっても直接交流できることほど素敵なものはないよ。 → Above all things はこの流れでは意味不明。後ろに最上級相当表現があるので、不要です。 （日本語の言い回しが、英語でも同じように必要とされるわけではないので注意） ◆So fortunately for us, you came into the world as our son. そして幸運なことに、あなたが私達の息子として生まれてきてくれた。 → So の用法が不明。この英文は It is really fortunate that ＳＶ. としてはいかが。 ◆We'll cherish our miraculous encounter. 出会えた奇跡を大切にするよ。 → our より this のほうがいい。encounter の後ろには with you をつけて！ ◆Nobody could ever take your place. From your father and mother, with love. あなたはかけがえのない存在です… パパとママより →きれいな英文ですね。With love, from your father and mother. が普通です。 ちなみに father and mother は「パパとママ」という感じではありません。 パパとママ、という感じは mom and dad （語順注意） または Daddy and Mommy のほうが、よく出ますよ。
関連するQ&A
- 英作文の添削をお願いします。
問い:Do you like living where you live now,or would you rather live somewhere else in Japan or in the world? Why? Answer these questions as completely as you can. Use detail. Make us see and hear and smell and touch the place you are in ,or the place you imagine. Write in English on your answer sheet. I like living where I live now. I live in Gifu.there are two good reason why I like living in Gifu. First of all, there is good environment for living. Urban like Tokyo ,it is convenient for us to live in. However, there are some environmental problems such as air pollution and water pollution and etc. In contrast, Gihu is clean air and water. Moreover, there is few environmental problems. It is confortable for us to live there. Second, Gihu is a easygoing place. Urban are busy place. I like easygoing place better than busy place because I would like to act my own pace. I feel that people who live in urban are always busy and hurry. I do not want to disturb my own pace. That is all reason I want to live in Gifu
- 締切済み
- 英語
- 英検準一級 英作文の添削をお願いします。
英検準一級 英作文の添削をお願いします。 TOPIC Do you think print newspaper and magazines will disapper in the fiture? POINTS（Use two of the point below to support your answer.） 〇Speed of news 〇Consumer preferences 〇Cost effectiveness 〇Health issue 解答↓ I think that print newspaper and magazines will disappear in the future. There are two reasons to support my opinion. First of all, On internet, there are websites which provide latest news faster than news paper. These days, Most of people have some device to get a news information from internet such as a smartphone. In my case, I usually use a social network service to get news on time. Second of all, Recently the topics that consumer preference can be found on internet. On the Magazine, we cannot see what topic has before we buy it, however, internet has numerous topics and we can choose favorite one from them. According to the reason stated above, I think that print newspaper and magazines will disappear in the future. 初めて書いたもので、文法に自信がありません。 厳しめによろしくお願いします。
- ベストアンサー
- 英語
- 英作文の添削をお願いします。
2007年までに日本人の数は減り始めるだろう。その同じ年に、人々の20パーセントは 65歳以上になり、日本人の人口を世界でもっとも老齢化したものとするだろう。 The number of Japanese will began to decrease by 2007. In the year, 20% of the people will become over 65 years old, and Japan will be the most aging country in the world. 最後の 日本人の人口を～ の部分 日本は最も高齢化した国となる と表現しました。 これは採点される受験英語としてはどうなのでしょうか？ 回答よろしくお願いします。
- ベストアンサー
- 英語
- 英作文添削
大学受験浪人生です よろしければ添削お願いいたします あなたは日本のどこかの大都市がオリンピックを招待すべきだと思いますか、思いませんか。 またそれはなぜですか。 あなたの考えを８０語以上の英語でまとめよ I agree that somewhere city should invite Olympics. This is because I think that Olympics improve economics in many ways. For example, some people will want to watch Olympics directly so people will visit the city where Olympics are held and they will live in the city for a while. While they are living in the city, they will buy a lot of goods at the city and consequently, it will make economics improve. That is why I agree that somewhere city should invite Olympics.
- 締切済み
- 英語
- 自由英作文の添削をお願いしたいんですが。。。
現在浪人中なのですが 添削を依頼できる方もおらずこちらに質問させていただきました。 勝手なお願いですがよろしければお願いします テーマ オリンピックについて自分の考えを約１００～１５０語で述べよ In my opinion, the Olympics are very important events. As you know,this is the age of globalization, so it is necessary for you to contact more actively with foreigners, but there is few opportunity to do so. Some people may say that thay have such chance since a lot of foreigners come to and live in Japan. However, I rarely see Japanese people talking with foreigners very friendly. This is the case. Then,through sports, many people can communicate with people from all over the world. In other words, the Olympics can give you such opportunity. Therefore I would say that the Olympics are very precious.
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- 英語
- 英作文の添削をお願いします！
英語でスピーチをする予定があり、原稿を作ったのですが、文法や自然な表現に自信がないので、長文ですが添削をお願いします！^^ Are you happy? Of course there are many happy, enjoyable things. Sports, movies, shopping, and so forth. However, there are also many unhappy, depressive things. Do you surely think you are really happy? Today, the world is facing many serious problems. Discrimination, poverty, war, and so forth. However, we Japanese don’t have such serious problems. We were born in blessed, rich land, Japan. We can eat, buy what we want, and …..live. Then, what are the problems? Big one of the problems Japan facing is a problem of stress. I also suffer from the stress. “One pair of half pants is called pajamas”. “I’m called a Yankee because my hair is gold.” I’ll move on my topic. There are many stress. Human relationships, anxiety, a sense of inferiority, the number of stress is limitless. Because of these stress, many people cannot imagine bright future, only suffer from stress. If we suffer from stress, we cannot concentrate enjoyable things, and enjoy our lives. Stress has influence on not only our mind, but also our body. You can imagine depression as mental disease, difficult breathing, circulatory system and digestive system. To know these effects, perhaps you know how serious stress is. By the way, have you think of any solutions for stress? As I said before, there are many kind of stress, and those causes are also different. But I declare one cause of stress is broadcasting. This linkage is seemed unrealistic. However, media make us imagine there are full of sad accidents, crimes, disease and so on. We live in dark world. Why do we believe that? This is because we watch a number of news, broadcasting sad and dark things. Our brains believe the world we live is dark, not bright unconsciously. Of course there are not only dark ones, but also bright ones, but media focus on dark ones more easily, than bright ones. As I take one example, news about bullying. This news is broadcasted many times, and gathers much attention. That’s why our brains believe the world is full of sadness, hopeless. And we easily feel depression and suffer from stress. Then, how can we save ourselves? How can we release stress? Which way is the best way to solve the problem? Excluding the cause of stress? Or Changing society itself creating stress? Banning broadcasting dark news? All of them are not seemed effective way to solve it. Do we have to endure stress or deceive ourselves? We don’t suffer from stress. I’m OK. I’m OK. I’m happy No way. I refuse to do that. All we have to do is to deceive our brains. We have two simple choices to do. 1st is to look into just bright future. If we do that, our brains recognize only bright future without thinking and we think in a positive way. However, this way is not a perfect way. Some really suffer from stress and cannot look into bright future. Then, I will introduce 2nd way. 2nd is to appreciate 3 things every day and write down them. For example, I live with my aunt and she takes care of me. Now, I write down three things. 1st, “my aunt cooks a meal for me.” Thank to that, I keep my health and eat delicious food. 2nd, “every morning, my aunt sends me to the station.” That’s why I can save my time in the morning and sleep more. 3rd, “on my birthday, my aunt give me 1000 yen.” 1000 yen is not a little money!! To continue this, your brains will believe there are full of many happy, bright, fine things. We live in a happy world. Some of you think why this is beneficial for you? Yes. I’ll explain it. By getting this thought, positive way to look into your future, you suffer from less and less stress, and are released from stress. This is totally enough. And, the effect is not only reducing stress. Please don’t be surprised. By released from stress, your brains work well as 30%. You will not have trouble to studying. You will be able to get degree more easily. Good! If you got this thought, your future would be bright. I hope you will get bright future.
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- 英語
- 英作文の添削をお願いします
メールの内容です。 先日資料請求のメールを送りました。いくつか確認したい点があります。 ・私は日本に住んでいるのですが、そちらから資料を送っていただく時に郵送代金はかかるのでしょうか。かかるのであれば料金を教えてもらえませんか？ ・資料はいつ頃こちらに届く予定ですか？ 以上の質問です。よろしくお願いします。 I've sent an e-mail that requested material of your school. May ask you some questions? -Are there any cost for mail when it is sent at your end? Because I live in Japan. -And I ask you to tell me how much if it costs. -When will be the material delivered here? That's all. Thank you. Sincerely yours, 冒頭には何かつけた方がいいですか？ 回答よろしくお願いします。
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- 英語
- 英作文の添削をお願いします！
私の意見では、現在の若者は性別を問わず自分で調理できることが大切である。料理を おいしく仕上げるためには豊かな想像力や手先の器用さが要求されるので、心身の健康 にとてもよい。食材に意識的になれば自然への関心も高まる。さらに、料理で友人を もてなすことができると、あるいは人と共同して料理ができると、絆が深まることは間違いない。 In my opinion, in spite of gender, it is important for young people nowadays to be able to cook well by themselves. It is good for both your mind and body because it needs good imagination or skills with your hand. If you are glad to know ingredients of your food, you will be more interested in nature. Moreover, if you are able to make friends enjoy with your dishes or to cook with some people, you must be more familiar with each other. enjoy with your dishes のwith はby にかえても問題ないでしょうか 他にも間違いはあるかもしれませんが、回答よろしくおねがいします
- ベストアンサー
- 大学受験
- 自由英作文の添削をお願いします。
何度も失礼します。前回、前々回とも詳しく、ご丁寧な添削ありがとうございます。 あつかましいのですが、また自由英作文の添削をお願いします。 グローバル化がもたらすメリットとデメリット・それに対する意見 The merit of globalization is that we can access to technology, imformation, services and markets all over the world. They are good for local communities because they could take part in world economic. But,the demerit of globalization is that there is a possibility that individual distinctions of culture and society become erased by an increasingly homogeneous global culture. For example, I have been to Thailand before. I hoped that I enjoyed ehnic costume and delicious food wagons although they are dirty. But, The scene of Thailand seldom change to a spectacle of Japan. There were a lot of department stores of Japan, and many people enjoyed shopping with the dress in good taste. As my conclution, it is important for us to advance globalization as we remain individual culture and society. 長くなってしまいすいません。どんな些細な点でもご指摘いただければありがたいです。よろしくお願いします。
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- 英語
- 英作文の添削をお願いします
オンライン英会話がテーマの自由英作文です（後半） On the other hand, there are a lot of online English schools which offer low price lessons to us using Skype. Their prices are lower than even 200 yen per lesson when we choose affordable packages. In terms of opportunities of speaking, it is of great help for improvement to make use of them. If you want to learn English conversation, first I recommend you have lessons of such online schools. Then if you study by yourself simultaneously to help your conversation become better, I can assure you that your English conversation will be getting much better. 後半はなんとなくyouで通しましたが、よくわかりません よろしくお願いします
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- 英語
お礼
続きも とってもわかりやすい回答、ありがとうございます！ ご説明のひとつひとつに感嘆しながら、読ませていただきました。 例文や単語をたくさん検索し文章を組み立てたつもりでしたが、そんなに単純なものではないのですね・・・。 このような場で質問するのは初めてでドキドキしていましたが、思い切って質問してみて本当に良かったと思っています。 とても勉強になりましたし、とっても助かりました！！ どうも有難うございました。