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double down

Q. Husband telling people I have borderline personality disorder: I recently found out from a friend that my husband has been telling our friends that I have borderline personality disorder. I was completely flabbergasted and shocked, because I have never been diagnosed with this in my life. I confronted my husband, and he refused to talk to me about it, saying he didn’t feel “safe” talking to me. I immediately made an appointment with my therapist and explained the situation to her. She reassured me that I do not, in fact, have BPD. I again talked to my husband, told him to stop lying, and that I wouldn’t stand for it. He agreed but did not apologize. A few weeks later, I checked his texts (I know—cardinal sin of marriage), and saw that he had drunk-texted his colleague at 11:30 at night that I had BPD. (He was so drunk that night that he threw up after he DROVE himself home.) I’m at a loss. We’ve been having marriage problems due to lack of trust. He lies to my face frequently, e.g. will tell me he was at work all day, and later I will find out that he had spent the whole day at the shopping mall. Or he will come home late reeking of alcohol but insist he never had a drop to drink and was at the office the whole time, and later I find the receipts showing he had gone out drinking before coming home. I think this is the last straw, but I don’t know what to do. He has been trying to be a better husband in a lot of ways (has stepped up his contribution to housework, is learning to cook, makes lots of thoughtful gestures, etc.), but he continues to lie and refuses to apologize. He just says I’m in denial about BPD and asks why it bothers me so much that he tells other people. He says he’s just worried about me and “looking for advice from friends.” A: I think this is the last straw too, and I think I know what you should do: I think you should leave him. This is abusive gaslighting of the highest order (“a form of mental abuse which a victim is manipulated into doubting their own memory, perception and sanity”). You have plenty of reasons to end your marriage already, between his chronic lying and drinking, but when you add to that list the fact that he has repeatedly lied about your mental health to your friends and refused to apologize (!!!) when confronted with this fact, what you have is less of a marriage and more of a hostage situation. I don’t believe your husband is worried about you in the least. I think he’s interested in making you doubt yourself, in feeling isolated, in keeping you in the dark, and in controlling you. I don’t care how many dishes he washes. This is a person who will ruin your life, and I hope you can find somewhere else to sleep tonight. Don’t let his half-hearted attempts to pick up more dirty socks convince you that you’re suffering from a mental disorder you don’t have, then doubling down by suggesting you’re “in denial” when you call him out on his vicious lies. ここでのdouble downはどのような意味でしょうか?よろしくお願いします


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  • cbm51901
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"double down" は本来、「賭け事」で使われる用語で、ポーカーなどでゲームに一回負けた場合に、元を取り戻すために次に掛け金を二倍にすることです。 「倍賭け」ともいうようです。ここでは「倍返し」とも表現できるかも知れません。 https://eow.alc.co.jp/search?q=double+down Don’t let his half-hearted attempts to pick up more dirty socks convince you that you’re suffering from a mental disorder you don’t have, then doubling down by suggesting you’re “in denial” when you call him out on his vicious lies. [以下は意訳になります] 彼が以前よりも余分に靴下を洗濯するからといって、そんないい加減な試みは、彼を信用するに値しません。あなたが患ってもいない精神障害を負っていると言い放ち、その彼の悪質な嘘に言及すると、今度は倍返しで、あなたが現実から目をそらしているとほのめかすのですから。





  • 翻訳希望

    自動翻訳では、意味がわかりません どなたか翻訳お願いできますか? どうぞよろしくお願いします Looking at his chart, I think it will be difficult for him to end his marriage, He has Saturn in his seventh house. This makes for ties of duty, habit, practicality. He is not happy in his marriage. He feels his life is limited or restricted by his marriage. Feels very tied. There is some hidden problems in his marriage that he finds hard to cope with, periodically he wants to end this, but the practically prevent it. These problems and feeling of limitation wont go away very easily. I don’t think he will leave his wife or end his marriage. You also have Saturn in your seventh house in your own chart, so I don’t think you will end your marriage either. But looking far into the future, what I think will happen is that this man will drift out of your life, there will be time spent apart or not close, you may feel the relationship between you ends altogether. Yet strangely he returns. There may be a gap of years, then he returns when his marriage is over, and the love begins again, and you will at that time have a choice whether to end your marriage or not. This theme takes place not immediately but over many years. Nothing is certain, but that is how I think it will go because of the pattern in your individual charts, But remember our own actions and choices can influence the future fate too.

  • double down

    Our son is in a serious relationship and I believe an engagement is in the offing. We like this young woman, but have reservations that I am struggling with. It's clear our son spends a great deal of time and energy taking care of his girlfriend and making her feel secure and content, although she is rarely content for long. He makes all the food, goes out for her coffee, makes all the reservations, plans trips, etc. This never-ending support over her workplace and social worries seems awfully one-sided, and my son has confided that it can be exhausting and frustrating. He has suggested she see a therapist for anxiety or depression. His siblings share my concerns. They have reached out to her in numerous ways but she is usually tired or busy. Is there anything useful to say here? Or double down on being as kind and generous as I can be? double downはどのような意味でしょうか?よろしくお願いします

  • double down

    Q. Drunk Driving Prevention Ends Friendship: I threw a Halloween party this weekend, and my good friend Alicia came. During the party Alicia drank a lot and became very drunk. Even so, she wanted to drive home at the end of the night. I took her keys and refused to return them to her. I offered to call a cab or a sober friend to drive her home and offered to let her stay in my spare room. Alicia freaked out at me and demanded I return her keys to her. She said she was a grown woman and could make her own decisions. I still refused to give her the keys to her car, so eventually she called another friend to drive her home. The next day Alicia emailed me to demand the return of her car keys—I told her and her friend, when she left, that she could pick up her car as soon as she sobered up—and to tell me our eight-year friendship was over. She accused me of being controlling, disrespectful, crazy, and totally out of line. I am hurt by Alicia’s decision to end our friendship, but I don’t think I did the wrong thing by preventing her from driving drunk. What should I have done? Should I bother reaching out to Alicia and apologizing? A: An apology is owed here: Alicia to you. It would have been nice when she sobered up if she said she appreciated your saving her from killing herself or someone else. Instead she’s doubling down on her right to break the law and endanger the lives of everyone on the road. doubling down on her rightはどのような意味でしょうか?よろしくお願いします。

  • よろしくお願いします

    I found myself extremely upset after reading a friend’s Facebook post recently, in which he admitted to taking a belt to his 2-year-old daughter in the hopes that it’ll teach her to sleep through the night. I find this behavior completely abhorrent. At 2 years old, a child barely knows right from wrong, and if you admit to striking your daughter with an object once, who says you won’t do it again? I’ve since deleted this friend from my Facebook and told my husband (who is also his friend) that I’m refusing to socialize with him. I have two dilemmas now as a result: The first is that my mom is urging me to report him to his local authorities for child abuse. How do I even do this, and am I obligated to? My husband doesn’t want me to because he doesn’t think the authorities will do anything about it, and this guy thinks that what he did was completely acceptable. (He and my husband talked and had to agree to disagree—he told my husband he used a cloth belt and not a leather one, and that’s why it’s OK.) My second dilemma is that this guy is the best friend of my husband’s best friend, and when gatherings are planned, this guy is always invited. I worry that if I’m forced into a social situation with this man, I’m going to tell him exactly what I think, and it won’t be pretty. I also don’t want to make it awkward for my husband and his other friend, and I don’t want to be a witch about things, but this is an absolute zero tolerance for me. it won’t be prettyとwitchはどう訳したら良いでしょうか?よろしくお願いします

  • 英文の和訳

    英文による占いのメール文章です。 何となく誤植があるように思いますが、その箇所も含めて 教えていただけるとありがたいです。 和訳をお願いいたします。 Thankyou for your enquiry. In your chart you have Saturn in Aries conjunct the cusp of house of marriage. Saturn is the planet of parting and death. It suggest to me that when you meet he is alone. He will have been either widowed or separate from his wife, there is an orb of five degrees, so for approximately five months or five year before you met.

  • 現在完了形

    Q. Stuck in a state of confusion: My husband is constantly making obscene comments to me and our children. He tells other people that our boys are not his, that they are from my first marriage, and that he only had them so that they would do all of the things he doesn’t want to do. I cannot begin to tell you how badly this hurts both me and my children, because they are his biological children and he knows that. He is constantly yelling at them, cursing at them, and threatening them, and if I intervene, he starts yelling at me too! I’ve suggested marriage counseling, and he laughed and told me to go by myself. So I have been, for six months. My therapist thinks that I should divorce him, but I am not in a financial position to leave. I have no family that I can stay with, and we just moved to a new state, and I don’t know anyone around here that would be able to accommodate three extra people. Once I graduate from school I will be able to support all of us, but I don’t know if I should wait to graduate or drop out of college with a year left to find a full-time job. Help! A: That you should leave your husband is without question. If he is going so far as to threaten your children, you absolutely should divorce him and sue for sole custody. The less your sons remember of him, the better off they will be; however, I want you to be prepared and in the strongest emotional and financial situation possible when you go. Find your local chapter of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence—it can help you with a job search and finding an affordable place to live. Consult the National Domestic Violence Pro Bono Directory to find low-cost or free legal advice. If you live in a community property state, you are entitled to half of the assets acquired during your marriage. The Allstate Foundation offers a free “financial empowerment” service to people leaving abusive relationships; you may also find this helpful. If you have not started one already, open a bank account in your own name and put away whatever you can for your getting-the-hell-out-of-Dodge fund. If you have friends back in your home state you can trust, consider asking for financial support as you prepare to leave your marriage. Do not drop out of college until you have found work, but make leaving your marriage your highest priority. until you have found workはなぜ現在完了形なのでしょうか?until you find workではいけないのでしょうか?よろしくお願いします

  • よろしくお願いします

    I've been married for four years. My husband is a good man. He's really good to me, but lately it feels like our marriage is in a rut. We don't have any children, so I feel that some our attention should be focused on "us," but he stays on his computer all day, and when he's not on his computer, he's got his nose in his phone. I'm all about letting him have his "you time," so I let him do his own thing, and I go and do my own things, but I would still like some "us" time every now and again. he's got his nose inはhe's caught up inと同意でしょぅか?あと、I'm all about はどのような意味でしょうか?よろしくお願いします

  • 英語日記16 人種とは

    すいませんが最近英語力のライティングをあげようと英作文をまいにち書くようにしてます。 レベルのひくい英作文ではずかしいのですが。できれば文法や細かい間違いを指摘して頂けると幸いです So, today I want to talk about the race problem. What image(s)複数形?? do you have when you would be asked “race problems”. The population of the America consists of four major ethic groups. White and black and Hispanic then we are. I have a friend who is actually Chinese, but he has grown up in the USA. So, what do you think about oh his race?? Chinese or American or something else?? I think that he is both of them. We are a little of biological difference, and we don’t need to decide who is the most superior. We tend to decide which one is the best. We must have confidence of yourselfe. My favorite song AOZORA was mede by HIROTO. He is singer of THE BLUEHEARTS. He said in his word what of me do you understand from the colors of the color and eyes of my skin? I really agree with that. Don’t you think so?? bookaholicさんはなぜ昔に留学していたのにいまだに英語の細かい文法までおぼえてるのですか??

  • carry the load

    I've been married for 47 years to a man who is 13 years older than I am. He reminds me often that he is 86 and set in his ways. For much of our marriage, I have carried the load around the house, but now it is worse. My husband barely does anything. carried the load around the houseとはどのような意味でしょうか?よろしくお願いします

  • この英語を日本語へ翻訳お願いします。

    なんとなくは分かるのですが、知らない単語があり的確に訳せません...。 お力添えお願いします。 don't think that way .... i understand your situation . i know how it feet to be in that type of situation . here is something to make you feel better . don't worry i still think that you are a wonderful person and thank you! for be in honest .... i respect you ... now think about this " ( That me think that you are the best person in the world and is happy for the way you are! ) " and only think about it all day so you feel better