Partner's Lack of Respect for Boundaries: How Can I Stand Up for Myself?
- My partner and I are going through a rough patch. She is moving out for a month to have some space, and I'm both sad and relieved. I love her, but I feel she doesn't respect my boundaries, especially when it comes to her friend frequently being over without a heads up.
- Last night, I tried to say 'no' to my partner about her friend coming over, but she told me she didn't have a choice. I ended up feeling unimportant and had a panic attack. I want a say in who is in our space, but my partner doesn't seem to understand why it's important to me.
- I'm conflicted because I want to stand up for myself, but I also feel like I may be overreacting due to stress. Is there a way I can assert myself without causing more tension in our relationship?
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よろしくお願いします
So my partner and I have been in a rough patch for a while now. She is moving out for a month to get some space and figure out what she wants. I’m sad because I love her and when things are good, it’s the best feeling to come home to her. But I’m relieved because things are tense right now. I feel she doesn’t respect my boundaries. Her friend is over a lot. I’ve asked for a heads up, and at some points have said I’m not comfortable with her being sprung on me and sticking around late into the night when I have work the next day. But it keeps happening. Last night, I was exhausted and had been asking for some quality time with partner. But her friend came over instead. I ended up going for a walk in the cold and crying on a bench for an hour because I tried to say “no” to my partner, and she told me that she didn’t have a choice. I had a panic attack (I feel so silly, I shouldn’t be so sensitive), but I just felt so unimportant. Partner is so nice to them and wants to tell them every little detail, and in turn listens. Partner told me I was just being critical last night when I tried to explain why this is important to me, and that if I just told her about my day instead of being upset, there wouldn’t be an issue. But I want a say on who is in my/our space! I am mad! But I also feel like I am overreacting because we’ve both been pretty stressed. Is there a way I can/should stand up for myself around this? 1 I’ve asked for a heads upは「注意喚起を要求した」でしょうか？文脈に合わない感じがするのですが・・・ 2 sprung on meはどのような意味でしょうか？ 3 stand up for myself around thisはなぜaboutやforではなくaroundなのでしょうか？ 以上、よろしくお願いします
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１。 I’ve asked for a heads upは「注意喚起を要求した」でしょうか？文脈に合わない感じがするのですが・・・ （彼女に彼女の友達を私への事前通告なしなで連れ込まないようにと）私は彼女に注意を促した、でしょう。 2 sprung on meはどのような意味でしょうか？ 予告なしに急に、とつぜん、藪から棒に、私に何かする、と言うことでしょう。 3 stand up for myself around thisはなぜaboutやforではなくaroundなのでしょうか？ about とか for （ for の場合は重複にも）だとこの件だけに限られますが、about を使うと、この件だけでなくこの種の件に関して、と範囲を広げた表現になるからでしょう。
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