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英文と日本語訳があります。日本語訳は正しいですか?

During more than 250 years of isolation in Japan, hapless foreigners who happened to be washed ashore from shipwrecked vessels were sent off to Dejima, the only place where foreigners were allowed in an otherwise isolationist nation. These foreigners were transported in palanquins, covered wheel-less carriages carried on the shoulders of two men. These palanquins at least saved the foreigners from having to walk the whole way, as the common people did. 日本語訳 日本の250年以上にわたる鎖国の間、難破船から浜辺に打ち上げられた不運な外国人は、その他の点では孤立主義の国の中で唯一外国人に門戸を開いていた場所、出島に送られた。 そういう外国人は、2人の男が肩に担いで運ぶかごというおおいがあって車輪のない乗り物で運ばれた。この籠のおかげで、外人たちは、少なくとも、庶民のように道中ずっと歩くことはせずにすんだ。

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すでに申し分のない回答が寄せられていますので控えていましたが、ご指名(ありがとうございます)をいただきましたので、屋上屋かも知れませんが、以下のとおりお答えします。 しかも、ご質問は、素晴らしい訳文とお見受けしました。ですから、以下は「補足」として、参考にしていただくだけで結構です。(語句の説明も、ほとんどお訳を繰り返している部分があります。) >During more than 250 years of isolation in Japan, hapless foreigners who happened to be washed ashore from shipwrecked vessels were sent off to Dejima, the only place where foreigners were allowed in an otherwise isolationist nation. >日本の250年以上にわたる鎖国の間、難破船から浜辺に打ち上げられた不運な外国人は、その他の点では孤立主義の国の中で唯一外国人に門戸を開いていた場所、出島に送られた。 ★hapless foreigners who happened to ~:「たまたま~した不運な外国人」。happen to ~ は「たまたま・偶然~する」。 ★Dejima, the only place where foreigners were allowed in:「唯一外国人の入国が認められていた場所である出島」。be allowed in ~ は「~に入ることを認められる」。 ★an otherwise isolationist nation:「そこでなければ・そこ以外では、孤立主義の(制度・政策をとっている)国家」。 ☆Dejima, the only place where foreigners were allowed in an otherwise isolationist nation: 上の2項(の訳)をつなげると、「唯一外国人の入国が認められていて、そこ以外では孤立主義の(制度・政策をとっている)国家〔が入国を認められていない〕場所である出島」と〔 〕内を補わなければ訳せませんね。しかもかなりぎこちない訳文になります。これは、otherwiseという語が、「さもなければ(~する・しない)」というような逆接としての機能合わせ持つことに起因します。ということは、その部分を補いつつ、2文に分けるとより自然な訳文にできることを意味します。「~は、出島に送られた。孤立主義の国家なので、そこだけが唯一外国人の入国を認めていた場所で、それ以外では認められていなかったのである」。 ⇒日本の250年以上にわたる鎖国の間、たまたま難破船から浜辺に打ち上げられた不運な外国人は、出島に送られた。孤立主義の国家なので、そこだけが唯一外国人の入国が認められていた場所で、それ以外では認められていなかったのである。 >These foreigners were transported in palanquins, covered wheel-less carriages carried on the shoulders of two men. These palanquins at least saved the foreigners from having to walk the whole way, as the common people did. >そういう外国人は、2人の男が肩に担いで運ぶかごというおおいがあって車輪のない乗り物で運ばれた。この籠のおかげで、外人たちは、少なくとも、庶民のように道中ずっと歩くことはせずにすんだ。 ★in palanquins, covered wheel-less carriages:「覆いがあって車輪のない乗り物(である)カゴ(駕籠)に乗って」。palanquins と carriagesが同格名詞(それぞれA1・A2とする)ですが、英語ではA1→A2の順に並んでいる場合、日本語ではA2→A1の順にすることが多いようです。(主要語が、英語では前に、日本語では後に置くのが普通だからでしょう)。 ★carriages carried on the shoulders of two men:「2人の男が肩に担いで運ぶ乗り物」。 ★― saved the foreigners from having to ~:「― のおかげで外国人は~しなくてすんだ」←「― は外国人たちが~しなければならないこと(労力)を省いた」。 ★as the common people did:「一般平民がそうしていたように・一般平民のように」。 ☆palanquinは、椅子のついた筏や担架に似た形で、4人で担ぐ「カゴ」ですよね。これはむしろ中国式で、日本の駕籠を表す英語は、どちらかと言えば、これよりもbasketやlitterの方が近い、と辞書にありました。 ⇒そういう外国人は、覆いがあって車輪のない乗り物で、2人の男が肩に担いで運ぶカゴ(駕籠)に乗って運ばれた。このカゴのおかげで外国人たちは、少なくとも一般平民のように道中ずっと歩くことはせずにすんだのである。

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  • 回答No.1

 誤訳はないと思います。敢えて気が付いた点を挙げると、  isolationist も「鎖国」という歴史用語で統一する方が伝わりやすいと思います。「鎖国主義の」「鎖国政策の」などの訳語ではどうでしょうか?  その他の点では → その他の場所では

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