• 締切済み

【英語】添削お願いします テーマ：一人暮らし

将来社会人になったら一人暮らししたいですか？ それとも親と一緒に暮らしていたいですか？ I want to live independently from my parents I think I must do so. One reason is that I have two brothers and one sister who are younger than me. If I lived with them after I get into the world, they couldn't be given their own rooms. Moreover,I couldn't concentrate on my work if there are three children around me. Leaving from my house would benefit both of me and my brothers or sister. Another reason is that I have to learn to live by myself because my parents won't take care of me by the tame I die. I have to also make my parents relieved. For these reasons I want to live on my own in the future. 文章の構成に自信がありませんん。 文法だけでなく文章構成や矛盾が生じていないかなどもみていただけると嬉しいです。

  • 英語
  • 回答数3
  • ありがとう数1

みんなの回答

回答No.3

こんにちは。No.2です。 両者間という意味でboth を使うことは可能ですが、３者を並列するとどの２者間かこの場合はわからないかもしれないので、 both my siblings and I とした方がいいかもしれません。

回答No.2

こんにちは。細かく書いてしまいますが、一つの意見ということで・・・ 最初の理由として、結論として書いてある文を最初に持ってくると、文が引き締まって、すっきりすると思います。 日本語だと兄弟がいるから、という理由でも、その理由から見えてくるので何となくわかりますし、十分な理由になりえるのですが（理由から展開していく形ですが）、英語だと結論が最初にくるという想定で、その裏付けを読んでいくので、兄弟と私にとっていいこと、というのを最初に掲げると、それぞれにとっていいこととはどういうことだろう、と読み進むことができます。兄弟がいるというのは要素の一つとするといいと思います。 I want to live independently from my parents. I think I must do so. One reason is that leaving my house would benefit both my brothers, sister, and I. I have two brothers and one sister that are younger than me. After getting into the world of jobs, I can live by myself. But if I live with my siblings, they wouldn't be given their own rooms. Moreover, I wouldn't be able to concentrate on my work at home if they are around me. *childrenというすると、小さい子のイメージがあるので、１０代であれば、teenager と書くのもいいと思います。 *couldn't よりも、wouldn't be able to の方がいいでしょう。 The other reason is that I have to learn to live by myself. My parents won't take care of me by the time I die.　　I also have to make my parents relieved. For these reasons I want to live on my own in the future. *Another を使うと、まだそれ以上理由があることになるので、もう一つは、という場合は、The otherを使います。

T-hokuyo
質問者

補足

自分で書いていても思ったのですが、これだと'both'のあとに3つの要素(自分、弟、妹)が並んでしまうような気がするのですがそれは文法上問題ないのですか？

  • marbleshit
  • ベストアンサー率49% (5033/10253)
回答No.1

I want to live independently from my parents, I think I must do so. One reason is that I have two brothers and one sister who are younger than I. If I keep on living with them after I get into the world, their own rooms won't be given for good. Moreover, I will not be able to concentrate on my work if there will be three children around me. Leaving from my house would benefit for me and all my brothers and sister. Another reason is that I have to learn living by myself because my parents won't take care of me by the day I die. I have to also make my parents feel relieved. For these reasons I want to live on my own in the future. 良く出来たパラグラフライティングだと思いますよ。 細かい文法上の添削を施しました。 素敵な一人暮らし、期待していますよ!d(^^)b

T-hokuyo
質問者

補足

'benefit'のあとの'ｆｏｒ'がなぜあるのかわかりません。 他動詞として使うならばいらないような気もするのですが・・・。

  1. カテゴリ
  2. 学問・教育
  3. 語学
  4. 英語

関連するQ&A

  • 英文の添削お願いします。

    課題文：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Young people should start to live on their own and become indepentent of their parents as early as possible.Give reasons to support your opinion. 解答： (1)I think young people should start to live on　their own and become independent of their　parents as early as possible. (2)I think so because,when they start working they will have to do everything by theirselves.Their parents won't help them any more.If they are not independent of their parents,they cannot work. (3)Second, if they start to live on their own,they will know that doing houseworks such as making meals,cleaning rooms is hard work. (4)And the most important reason is that,when they have their children,they have to teach their children a lot of things by them selves.If they are not indepentent of their parents,they can't raise their children properly. (5)I have friends who live on their own.They are doing everything by theirselves,so they look confident. (6)With above reasons I think young peole should start to live on their own and becomeindependent of their parents.約１５０words,３０分 ＴＯＥＦＬ対策の問題です。 後々読み直してみると、 firstがないのにsecondを使ったり、 一番大事な理由を述べているパラグラフの位置が中途半端だったり、 無駄にパラグラフを多くしてしまった点がよくなかったように思います。 文章構成・表現・文法なんでも稚拙な部分が多くあると思うので直したほうがよい所やアドバイスがあったらぜひ教えてください。 よろしくお願いします。

  • 英語の添削お願いします。

    この文章を添削していただけませんか？ 「父は昔、テーブルマナーに厳しかったが、現在は注意しなくなった。」という内容です。 特に、時制は正しいかを知りたいです。 長文ですが、よろしくお願いします。 　My father would often say to me, “Table manners are important for you.” When I was a child, my father was strict on table manners. He was always stern with me, but he was especially fastidious about table manners. For example, he said, “Don’t put your elbow on the table.”or “Don’t speak while eating anything.” These examples are general table manners. That is why he used to make a big fuss over my table manners, every time I ate. 　Furthermore, My father was pedantic about even trivial matters. For instance, he said, “Don’t leave even a single grain.” This was really difficult for me. When I finished eating, I had to show my rice bowl to my father, because he wanted to check if I had eaten every grain of rice. If hadn't, I had to eat again. This bothered me, but I now realize that eating even the last grain of rice was to show my respect for a person who had cooked for me. 　I hated such my father when I was a child. However, as I got older, he no longer told me about my table manners. Probably, this was because he could not find any faults in my table manners which I must have improved since. Now, I can understand his strictness on table manners. Mealtimes are not only the time when we eat something but also the time when we can enhance friendship with someone. Good table manners make the other feel good, but bad manners hurt their feelings. Therefore table manners are very important. 　Thanks to my father, I don’t have any problems about them. These days, parents are not strict on table manners. However, I think that parents should show good table manners to their children. I want to be a father who is strict on table manners like my father in the future.

  • 添削してください。

    （前文があって） そして、母は精神的にダメージを受け、私と姉を混同するようになってしまった。 私はそれにどうにもこうにも耐え難く、非公開の家裁の裁判を経て、「あなたをお母さんとは別に暮らせるようにしましょう。」という段階までようやくこぎ着けました。 その後、私が自分の意志で「実の両親のところに戻ろう」と決意するまでに、１３年もの月日が流れました。 そして、運命とは不思議なものです。 …自分は生まれたとき、病院でとり違えられて育ってしまったことを、更に１０年の歳月を経てやっと知りました。 今は亡くなった義父・義母・姉は頭の片隅に置き、新しくできた実の両親と姉に囲まれて幸せに暮らしています。 貴方には、たくさん心配をおかけしましたが、どうぞ安心してください。 来年、またあなたの誕生日に手紙を届けに来ます。 お墓参りと共に。 貴方からいただいた本に書いてあったように、「感謝」の気持ちを込めて。 本当にありがとう。 Since then, my mother got a lot damages from her death and confused which is me or my sister. I could not be patient what my mother behaved and put a case on trial which was in private court style. It was close to not live with my own mother. It took about 13 years to go back to real parents to live with. And life is something non-predictable, I found I was mistook to the different parents when I was born at the hospital after 10 years. I now keep my step family in my heart and I live with my real parents and sister with happiness. Please not too worry about me. I'll write you when your birthday comes and pray for you. I really thank you with all my heart of gratitude which the word from the book you gave me. Thank you again.

  • 英語の並び替えをお願いします

    (my parents, no, what, say, matter) , I' ve decided to go to Egypt. (though, must, even, work , I) hard , I have an ambition to become a doctor. (my sister, abroad, been, although, has ) , I haven't. I want to be an engineer (if, at, poor, I'm , even) science. My boyfriend is thinking of going abroad , ( don't , though, him, I, want ) to go. (or, it, you, whether, like, ) not, you'll have to work.

  • 英語の添削をお願いします。

    タイに２ヶ月研究留学に行っていました。滞在中のお礼をこめて、手紙を入れた小包(日本のお菓子などを入れた物)を送ろうと思っています。 その手紙の添削をお願いしたいです。 Thank you for everything. I really enjoyed Thai Life which spends the time in soil mechanics laboratory. Each memories of Thailand are very big in my life. I don’t forget this memories forever. Some people said to me “you are strong.”, but of course I’m not strong. Everyone support me every time, so I really want to say Thank you. In the future, I may go to Thailand again as engineer. I will contact you when I go to Thailand. While I staying there, I couldn't do anything for you, so this time, I want to send goods for you all!! Please eat it  This is Japanese snacks! And finally, this program is good experience for me, and good opportunity to learn English, Thai culture and Civil Engineering. I hope to meet you again. I miss you all. And Thank you very much.

  • 【英語】作文の添削お願いします　

    テーマ：印象に残っている贈り物 Most impressing present in my life is a watch that my father gave me when I passed the exam to enter the high school. My father used the watch before I was born, and he wouldn't put away it even though he was given a new watch by my mother and sister. I think the watch will have been very important for my father. So, I was very surprised when he gave it to me. At first, I hesitated to receive it, but I received it in the end because my father said with smiling that "I use this new watch". The watch was what my mother and sister gave him. My watch and my father's watch is very different because mine is very old and father's is new. However both of them are filled with love of my family. 文法や構成について指摘してください。

  • 私の日記です、また添削お願いします。

    英語日記は私にとっては難しいですが、ここで終わっってしまっては夢が叶いません。I want to learn and I want to speak English when I get a chance to go to US someday.一日一回、声を出して言いながら頑張ります。 Hi, My Crystal! You know today's story, don't you? Your answer is right! Ok, let’s start. Last Saturday, I played golf with my husband. We play golf one time a month. But this January and February, I couldn't play golf. Because while then I was not enough good about my health. I love playing golf and want to do more and more! But it's cost is expensive in Japan. Have you ever played golf? I hope I will play with you, someday, Crystal! I forgot I said to you about my score. It was 103. I want to get less than 100. It is not easy for me, so I will do my best! Sorry, my husband calls me. I have to say to you "Have a nice week end, my Little Sweet crystal!"

  • 英作文の添削をお願いします。

    問い:Do you like living where you live now,or would you rather live somewhere else in Japan or in the world? Why? Answer these questions as completely as you can. Use detail. Make us see and hear and smell and touch the place you are in ,or the place you imagine. Write in English on your answer sheet. I like living where I live now. I live in Gifu.there are two good reason why I like living in Gifu. First of all, there is good environment for living. Urban like Tokyo ,it is convenient for us to live in. However, there are some environmental problems such as air pollution and water pollution and etc. In contrast, Gihu is clean air and water. Moreover, there is few environmental problems. It is confortable for us to live there. Second, Gihu is a easygoing place. Urban are busy place. I like easygoing place better than busy place because I would like to act my own pace. I feel that people who live in urban are always busy and hurry. I do not want to disturb my own pace. That is all reason I want to live in Gifu

  • 英語添削お願いします。（TOEFL-IBT）

    文法など至らない点が多く申し訳ありませんが、よろしくお願いします。 問：What do you think is the best parents? 解答： Children can’t choose their parents. In my case, I’m proud of my parents and I think I’m happy to be their child. What makes parents the best one depends on some reasons. I’ll explain them one by one. First, the best parents must have the ability to wait and see. To think of myself, it is natural that children can’t deal with the problem well at first. And in many cases, if they have enough time to try it again and again, they will surely make it. However, if their parents make them stop tackling the problem and help them, children will fail to accomplish their goals and lose their confidence. For example, when I was in my elementary school, my teacher gave me a lot of homework. I tried so hard to do it, but sometimes it was too difficult for me. I begged my mother for some help, but she refused it and said that she believed me that I could do it by myself. I didn’t understand what she said, and I felt she was not the best mother. Anyway, finally I did it and I was so proud of myself and felt I could do everything from now on. However, if my mother helped me at that time, I just finished my homework without getting confidence. Second, the best parents will give many experience to their children, for example, sports, traveling, and working. This is because what children have learned in their childhood will give them many choices of the future plans. If a father plays baseball with his boy, it can happen that the boy wishes he will be a baseball player. For example, my parents gave me the great experience with dogs and now I became a veterinary student. So, it is very important that the parents make their children experience many things to make their future shine. To sum up, the best parents should know children don’t belong to them. By thinking this way, they can wait and see how their children are doing, and do the best things in order to make their future soundful.

  • 日記風に、誰かに話しかける感じで書きました。添削お願いします。

    ここgooだけで勉強していますが、暫らく英文を書かなかったので、英語の文章が中々出てきません。再度、勉強をしなおさないとだめかと思っています。短い文章ですが、書いてみました。 Hi, my Crystal! The first, I must say to you “ I am so sorry! I haven't came here for a long time.” Did you worry about me? I have been well. How about you, Crystal? Sometimes I thought of you, but I couldn’t think and feel in English. I know I have to learn English day by day. Now my brain said to me “You can!" I should believe myself. I have you and you help me a lot for it. Crystal, I promise you that I will be learning with you. And someday I want to talk with you and my friends in English. Crystal, I have to make breakfast. So I say to you “Have a nice weekend!”

注目のQ&A

カテゴリ

専門家に質問してみよう

職業から探して質問する

あなたにピッタリな商品が見つかる！ OKWAVEセレクト

質問する