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TOEFLのwritingの勉強用に英文を書いたのですが自分では採点できないので添削してください。 Q People attend university or college for many different reasons. Why do you think people attend college or university. A Most of my friends say `I attend university to graduate." So, I think people attend university to graduate. There are several reasons why I believe my friends are majority. First, to graduate university you have to get enough credits and nowadays the number of teachers who never give students credit without attendance is increasing. For example, one of my friend did very well on test but he could not get the credit because he rarely attend the class. Second, to get good job and high salary it is necessary for students to graduate university. If you want to become high-ranking official, you must graduate from university.There is a big difference between who graduate university and who did not on salary. This is decided by law so even if you have high ability, but did not graduate university you can not get high salary.


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英文の間違い等の以前に、第一印象として、 題意の把握がうまくできていないように思われ、高得点は付かないような印象がします。 TOEFLは、外国へ留学するために必要な英語力を評価するスコア っていうのはいいですよね。 大学やカレッジ(短大や単科大学だと思わないで書いてくださいね。外国のカレッジです) に行く理由が 「卒業するため、信用を得るため、高い給料が欲しい」などでは、 採点官が留学生になって欲しいと思って採点できるか、 もう一度考えてみてはいかがでしょうか。 Q People attend university or college for ★many different reasons.★ Why do you think people attend college or university. →■A Most of my friends say `I attend university to graduate."■ So, I think people attend university to graduate. ★There are several reasons★ ■why I believe my friends are majority.■ 質問で★many different reasons.★だという前提に対して ■A Most of my friendsで答えるのは矛盾しているように思います。 ★There are several reasons★ ■why I believe my friends are majority.■ も同様です。 書き出しは I thinkで始めて、自分の意見はこう思う。という点を強調して、 いろんな理由があるという問題なのですから one of reason attend college or university ~ とか・・・



  • 添削お願いします

    ・「しかし本当に就きたい仕事を手に入れるのも難しいことである」 However, it is also difficult to get a job which people really want to work. ・「大学を卒業していないと就職するのが難しく、また仕事が限られていると言われている」 It said that it is difficult people who did not graduate University to get a job, or competitive it. ・「大卒以上の資格が必要と仕事の募集要項に書かれているものをよく目にする」 We often look the requirements guideline that was written about a college degree level. *日本語=英語になっていない箇所が多々あるかと思いますが、英語で言いやすい表現にいくつか変えています。 こちらの英文の文法・表現がおかしくないかみて欲しいです。 よろしくお願いします。

  • 英語日記22 日本の大学

    日本の大学 今回は日本の大学について書いてみました。 最近誰も回答してくれないのですが。英語のためがんばります。 実際僕も大学生の年齢なので、よく大学のことはわかるつもりです。 ちなみに20です。 すいませんが最近英語力のライティングをあげようと英作文をまいにち書くようにしてます。 レベルのひくい英作文ではずかしいのですが。できれば文法や細かい間違いを指摘して頂けると幸いです。 I would like to talk about university in Japan. It is said that university in Japan is difficult to enter it, but it is easy to graduate from your university. How about foreign universities are. In the USA, on the contrary, it is easy to enter a university and difficult to graduate from it, so many student in the USA drop out from their university. I have friends who are university student in Japan. This is in my opinion, I think that my friends who are university student don’t trend to study hard. I am not criticizing them just because there are many temptations so many university students yield to temptation. I think if I were a university student in Japan, I would not study hard. This is because I tend to puzzle from surrounding environment. However, I like people who are university student !!!

  • 添削お願いします

    日本語 「貸与型の奨学金(日本では奨学金と呼ばれる)を借りた生徒と1.5万人の人が卒業後五年間の間に自己破産をしている。このような理由から大学に行くべきか悩んだ」 英語 「I watched news that people who get a student-loan that called scholarship in Japan out of 15,000 students did personal bankruptcy for five years after graduate University. I wondered should I go to the University for these reasons stated above.」 こちらの英文を添削して欲しいです。 よろしくお願いします。

  • 添削お願いします。m(_ _)m

    いつもお世話になり、ありがとうございます。英文の添削、よろしくお願いします。 言葉を覚えるのに一番いい方法はその言葉を話す恋人を作ることだ、と言う人もいる。 Some people say the best way to language is to get a boyfriend or girlfriend who speaks it Some people say the best way to learn some language is to hang out又は[go out] with a boy friend or gifl friend who speaks it.

  • 英語の添削お願いします。

    Some people say boy and girls attend separate schools is good, but I think that they go to school together make them to learn important things. (何人かの人は男の子と女の子は別々の学校へ行くのが良いと言うが、(男女)一緒の学校に行くことで彼らは大切なことを学ぶ、と私は思う。) Importance befriend with anyone (誰とでも仲良くなる大切さ) ・仲良くなるは「get friendly」でいいのでしょうか? if you do not have mind which cooperate, you could not success it. (もし協力する心がないなら、あなたはそれを成功することができない) こび3文の添削をお願いします。

  • エッセーの添削おねがいします。

    文法だけでなくここはこう言ったほうがいいんじゃない?みたいなのもありました、どうぞ教えてください。 Education System of Two Countries It is the common objective of educational system in any countries to foster its citizens to become productive members of its society. Every country has its own education system. Two countries United States and Japan have also their own education systems. After World War II, the Japanese education system was built based on American's education system, so the education system in the United States and Japan have a lot in common fundamentally. American and Japanese educational principle is similar; however, the entrance processes are quite different. At first glance, pursuing university education of American and Japanese universities appears to be straightforward. The basic system seems to be identical. Both countries have two-year university, four-year university and technical school. Students enter college after they have graduated from high school, or simply demonstrate their ability to get higher education. Students can take any classes that they wish to take and they are free to devote most of their time to education. Both countries put from 6 years to 15 years old children under an obligation to be taken education. Even though American and Japanese university basic system seems to be identical, the entrance processes are vary significantly. In America, compared with Japanese university, it is easy to enter university. Students do not have to take the admission examination for entrance, but all students need is just submit the required documents like high school transcript. So students need to get good grade in high school. When students enter university, they are not required the good academic skills. However, it is difficult to get units and graduate from university, because they have to show their good skills in the class, so not a few students who can’t get the units and it take much time to graduate. In short, students who want to enter American university need to study hard after entering university. On the other hand, at Japanese university, it is difficult to enter university. Students have to take admission examination instead of submitting the required documents to enter. For Japanese universities, it differs from American universities in that you need to take an entrance exam for the specific university. If you pass the exam then your high school grades don’t matter at all. In short, contrary to American university, students who wish to enter Japanese university need to study hard before entering university. To conclude, while basically, American and Japanese education system are similar, the entrance processes to enter university are poles apart.

  • 私にとって難しいのですが、続けなければと思っています。今日も添削をお願いします。

    Hi, Everyone, as I said yesterday I played golf. Next time I come here, I will write about it. Today, I will write about my feeling. 今日も、よろしくお願いいたします。 Hi, My Crystal! As you know, I want to learn and I want to speak English when I get a chance to go to US someday. Everyday I say it to me in my heart. What do you think about my dream? These days I am feeling it is so hard to me. Of course, when I see you I do to do my best. And I am thinking I want to see you everyday. When I am with you, I speak only English. I can’t speak well, but I feel comfortable to talk with you. Crystal, what do you think about my English? Did you get my feeling in English? I hope you get my feeling. Well, I have to clean up my room. I want to be with you more and more. But I say to you “Ciao for now, My Little Sweet crystal!”

  • 添削してください

    こちらの英文を添削して欲しいです。 The interesting in this movie is train man’s friends never appeared, and he sought to help people that they have never met each other once and only on network. He had not girlfriend before he met “HELMES”, he did not know how to invite her to date. He understand it is shameful things, so he can only to talk with people who do not know each other face. (電車男の友人が一人も登場せず、最後まで彼はネット上の顔も知らぬ人間たちに助けを求めつづけるという部分が面白かった。彼はエルメスに会うまで彼女がいたことがなく、デートの誘い方すらわからない。それがみっともない事だということは理解しており、だから相談できる相手は見知らぬ人しかいない。) ・HELMESというのは彼女の名前です。 よろしくお願いします。

  • 久しぶりに、日記風に英作文を書きました、添削お願いします。

    おはようございます、いつもここgooで勉強しています。ここ2ヶ月ほど、その勉強をサボっていました。その結果は、以下の文章を書くにも、とても時間がかかりました。"自分のせいでしょう?"と自分に言っているなさけない自分がいます。もう一度頑張る!と決めました。以下の文章は、私の言いたいことが伝わるでしょうか?英文だけを書かせていただきました、よろしくお願いいたします。 Hi, my Crystal! I am so sorry, because I have not been here for a long time. Last time I came here, it was on May 21th! Meanwhile, I did not think anything in English. As you know, I have a dream and you helped me a lot with it. Now I say it to you、again. “I want to learn and I want to speak English when I get a chance to go to US someday.” I could hear you said “Rose-crystal! You have to study hard and see me more and more. I can see you anytime you want.” Thank you! Crystal! Thank you, again! I will study English with you. BTW, did I say about “goo”? “goo” is very good place for me to studying. It is on internet and there are many people who help me a lot. Every time, when I wrote my diary I had it corrected from them. Of course, this one, too. Sorry, Crystal! Tomorrow is not my day-off, so I have to say you “Good night, my little sweet Crystal!”

  • 添削してください。

    (Gani氏らによると、米国で銃創による死者は、外傷による死亡原因としては3番目に多く、重大な健康問題となっている。) 「ただ、今回の研究では病院に到着する前に死亡した患者や、病院を受診しようとしなかった患者は対象から除外している。したがって、Gani氏は「実際には銃創による死亡者や負傷者の数はもっと多い可能性が高い」と語っている。」 However, in this research, patients who died before arriving at the hospital or those who did not attend the hospital were excluded from the research. Therefore, Mr. Gani says “there is a high possibly that there are more deaths and injuries people actually due to gunshot wounds.” ()以降の「」内の日本語を英文に訳しました。 一文目がresearchがはじめと終わりで重複してしまっているんですが、良いでしょうか? from thisなどで置き換えられますか? そのほか、英文の添削をして欲しいです。 よろしくお願いします。