英語日記添削希望

質問

英語日記添削希望

お願いします、日頃から英語で日記をつけている者です
以下日記特に見られても構わない内容なので添削いただけると助かります

NOTE: U ２歳の息子 T ４ヶ月の息子 Y 嫁さん AVE スペインの新幹線の名前

T’s nose has been stuffed up for a couple of days. He seems like hard to breathe and I noticed some big snot, so I took it out with a ear stick. He seems to caught a cold and must have been infected by U because U has been running nose for a week.

U put together a train puzzle. Without our helping, he could put together almost of the puzzle. He must be smart. I gave him the train pictorial book which is introduced so many Japanese bullet train and overseas one as well. Y has him memorize overseas bullet train, so when I ask “Where is Ave?” he can point the train and crow like a rooster.

When we were going to bed, U bit me again and again; roughly I was bitten six times by him. It was so hurt to death!! Even though Y scolded him, he didn’t stop at all. I was soo scared.

回答No.3

sayshe

T's nose has been stuffed up for a couple of days. He seems hard to breathe and I noticed some big snot, so I took it out with an ear stick. He seems to have caught U's cold because U has had a runny nose for a week.

U put together a train puzzle. Without our help, he could put together almost all of the puzzle. He must be smart. I gave him a train pictorial book which introduces so many Japanese bullet trains as well as overseas ones. Y has him memorize overseas bullet trains, so when I ask him,"What is Ave?" he can point the train and crows like a rooster.

When we were going to bed, U bit me again and again; roughly I was bittten six times by him. He hurt me so much that I almost screamed!! Though Y scolded him, he didn't stop it at all. I was so scared.

いかがでしょうか。おかあさんもたいへんですね。

回答No.2

yfmamerica

so many Japanese bullet <b>trains</b> and overseas one　かな、と思いました。So many とあるのでね。　

he could put together almost of the puzzle. He could replace almost of all pieces of the puzzle.

He must be smart.ここで親ばか的に書きたいならば、He must be genius!

Y has him memorize overseas bullet train, so when I ask “Where is Ave?” he can point the train and crow like a rooster.
Y knows he cam memorize overseas' bullet trains, and when I asked " Where is Ave?" to him, he pointed the train and crowed like a rooster.

ただ、子供さんが音をたてているのに、crow は使わないかなあ、と。

　He shouted , he screamed, he made a sound , he excited などなど、他に言い方があると思います。

　最後のあたりですが、死ぬほどの痛みとは、冗談なのかもしれませんが、なんだかあんまりいい表現ではないと思います。

　この文章だと、冗談として感じられず、また本気で書いていたとしたら、これまたかなりの問題かと思います。

　死という言葉を、慣用句など以外で使うのは、注意したほうがいいと思います。

回答No.1

enna2005

書いている内容はほぼ理解できます。
どういうニュアンスの日本語を英語にしたいのかが和文がないので不明です。
ですから訂正出来るのは使用している単語や文法のみになると思います。

He seems like hard to breathe
=It seems like he has a hard time breathing

He seems to caught a cold and must have been infected by U because U has been running nose for a week.
= He seems to have a cold and he must have got it from U because U has been having a running nose for a week.

he could put together almost of the puzzle
= he finished the most of the puzzle

I gave him the train pictorial book which is introduced so many Japanese bullet train and overseas one as well.
= I gave him a book that has many pictures of both Japanese bullet trains and overseas ones on it.

Y has him memorize overseas bullet train, so when I ask “Where is Ave?”
=Y has a memory of overseas bullet trains, so when I ask " Which one is Ave?"

It was so hurt to death!! Even though Y scolded him, he didn’t stop at all. I was soo scared.
= It hurt so much to death !!

あくまでも私個人の添削ですから、他にも正しい言い方や文法はあります。