• ベストアンサー
  • 困ってます


英作文をしたのですが自信がありません。文法等の添削、内容についてのアドバイスをお願いします。 In recent years, there has been a lot of argument of having classes on Saturdays in elementary schools in Japan. A five-day school week started as a part of the new education system known as “yutori education” and these days it has been argued that we should do away with this system as soon as possible. But this system shouldn’t be abolished for following 3 reasons. First, it helps children to get communication ability. In Japanese elementary school, they usually don’t have discussions in the classes. They only listen to the teachers speaking at their desk, having little time to have interactive communications. It obviously prevents children from getting communication ability. But if Saturday is a holiday, they will have a lot of time to spend with their friends and families, and have a lot of time to have interactive communications. Actually, in my childhood I used to go a park to play catch with my father on Saturdays and talked a lot with him. There is no doubt that it has great effects on communication ability to talk a lot with friends and families. And it also prompts children to be independent. In school, they do only things that the teachers say to do. But when they graduate, no one tells them what to do. They have to find what to do on their own. If Saturday is a holiday, they will have more chance to know themselves, and to think about what they should do, that is, to be independent. In addition, apart from the educational problems, it will bring us economic effectiveness. If it is holiday on Saturdays, more people will go traveling with their family, and spend a lot of money on their way. Even if you don’t go traveling, we will have more chance to spend money to have pleasure. Actually, after playing catch I used to go to batting center with my father on Saturdays. There is no doubt that we use more money if children are at home than if they are in school.


  • 回答数4
  • 閲覧数40
  • ありがとう数5


  • ベストアンサー
  • 回答No.4

こんにちは。他で気になったところは、 a lot of argument → a lot of arguments it helps children to get → it helps children get(あるいはimprove) they will have more chance → they will have more chances Saturday is a holiday→ they have no school on Saturdays holidayを使うとなんとなく祝日とか、そういう感じなので、ただ単に学校がない、ということでいいと思います。



  • 英作文の添削

    明日英語ライティングのテストで、自由英作文の問題がそっくりそのまま出るとのことです。 そこでどなたか簡単に添削していただけないでしょうか。 問題:次のテーマについて賛成か反対かを明らかにし、60語程度の英語で自分の意見を述べなさい “Schools in Japan should have classes on Saturdays.” 1)I don’t think schools in Japan should have classes on Saturdays. 2)First, Japanese students are too busy, so they should have more free time to play with their friends. 3)Second, they don’t have much time to study what they want to study. 4)That time will lead Japan to more creative country. 5)For these reasons, I consider classes on Saturdays are not needed. (62語) よろしくお願いします。

  • 英作文添削お願いします。

    テーマはここ数年のニュースで話題になったものというものです。 I was interested in the news which the age of adult should be lowered to eighteen years old. I agree with this idea. Young people these days are overprotected. They can't know anything about the world. It is true that people in their teens still aren't mentally and physically mature. Many teenager don't have a full time job, live with their parents and depend on their parents, However, this is the reason why the age of adult should be lowered. Someday, they will have to live by their own. If they have to be responsible to everything they do, they will become aware that they should be independent. They would also appreciate their parents. よろしくおねがいします。

  • 英作文についてです

    英作文の採点をしてほしいです。 問題 次の問いかけに英語で答えなさい。 1) Is it difficult for you to live without TV? -No,it isn't. There are a lot of informations on TV. But I can see it on newspapers and the Internet.So It isn't difficult for me to live without TV. 2) Do you often read books when you have free time? -Yes,I do.I can get to a lot of things from books. And they make me happy.So I like to read books very much.

その他の回答 (3)

  • 回答No.3

こんにちは、全部チェックするのは面倒なので、No1さんの指摘箇所以外でもう1つ、 butを文頭に持ってきた文が第一段落でありますが、これでは従属節だけの文になってしまいますので、『論文ではアウト』ですね(小説なら良く見かけますが。)However等と交換した方が良いですね。 では、残りの添削は、他の方どうぞ、、、


  • 回答No.2



  • 回答No.1

ぱっと見て a part of の a をとって、following の前に the をつけて、 go a park を go to a park にして、get ability を acquire ability ぐらいにして、if it is holiday on Sundays の言い回しを(学校が休みという観点で)考え直せば、VERY GOODではないでしょうか。



  • 自由英作文の添削をお願いします。

    月末に大学入試を控えている高校3年生です。 文法ミスやもっと適切な表現がありましたら、ご指導いただけるとありがたいです。 テーマ:小中学生に携帯を持たせることの是非 In my opinion, children in elementary school or secondary school should not have a cell phone. It is true that a cell phone is very useful, and it enables them to communicate with their friends or parents easliy at any time. However, a careless use of a cell phone often brings about serious problems. Recently, many children have been involved in crimes by use of a cell phone. They are sometimes killed by people with whome they became acquainted in an Internet community site. Children have a poor knowledge to protect themselves. When we think about whether children can use communication tools appropriately or not, we will believe that they cannot do. So I want to emphasize that parents should not have their children carry a cell phone.

  • 自由英作文の添削をお願いします

    周りに添削を頼めるような人がいないので、自由英作文の添削をお願いします。ネット上で細かく添削するのは大変だと思いますので、文法上誤っている点の指摘や全体を見ての感想・アドバイスをいただけるとうれしいです。 (問)次の意見について100文字以上の英文で意見を述べなさい。 It is better to marry late rather than early. (答) I disagree with this statement. First,as people marry late,women give rise to their children when they are old.Although medical technology is improving now,it is still danger. The younger they do,the less danger they pass away. Second,if their father is old when baby is born,and they retire their job because of their age when their children go to college,it is difficult for them to pay money. Certainly,if people marry late,they afford to prepare for marrying because they have much money.But they should take their children into account. Thus,it is better to marry early rather than late.

  • 自由英作文の添削をお願いします。

    自由英作文の添削をお願いします。 少子化について原因と対策を100語以内で述べています。 Nowadays the number of children is decreasing in Japan. Since it costs a lot of money to raise their children, many young people don't marry. I think the Japanese economic is so bad that they can't earn enough money to raise. So the Japanese government should help them. I think it should make a plan to establish more preschools for mothers. If that came true, they could work at noon. Children will play a important role in the future. So I want the Japanese government to make efforts to get out of this situation. <94語> ミス、また説得力の有無などもご指摘いただけると嬉しいです。 よろしくお願いします。

  • 自由英作文添削

    自由英作文の添削お願いします 設問:「子供は親の背中を見て育つ」と言う言葉があります。それでは、親というものは子供にどのような「背中」を見せるべきではないと思いますか。また、それ はなぜですか。具体的な例をあげながら70語程度の英語で説明しなさい。 I think parents should not show their children their rudeness to others. It is because , if they see their rudeness every day , they will imitate their attitude. It leads to many ploblems in the society. For example, if they don't look up to the senior , they talk friendly with their boss, and the boss get angry then they may lose their job. It is very terrible. 英語得意なかたお願いします。 出来れば文章の構成方法も教えていただけたら嬉しいです。

  • 英作文添削

    大学受験浪人生です よろしければ添削お願いいたします あなたは日本のどこかの大都市がオリンピックを招待すべきだと思いますか、思いませんか。 またそれはなぜですか。 あなたの考えを80語以上の英語でまとめよ I agree that somewhere city should invite Olympics. This is because I think that Olympics improve economics in many ways. For example, some people will want to watch Olympics directly so people will visit the city where Olympics are held and they will live in the city for a while. While they are living in the city, they will buy a lot of goods at the city and consequently, it will make economics improve. That is why I agree that somewhere city should invite Olympics.

  • 一橋英作文の添削よろしくおねがいします。

    一橋 2009 Write 120 to 150 words of English about the topic below. A sense of humour is one of the most important things in life. I'm in favor of the idea that a sense of humour is one of the most important things in life. Surely, some people say that even if a person who has it, no difficult problems will be solved, so there is no point having it. In my opinion, however, it is very important for all people and in a lot of situations ,especially in difficult situations,to have it. People tend to be nervous when they face difficult situations, and no good ideas will be come up with unless they are nervous. However, what if there is a person who has a sense of humour? He would be likely to make nervous people relax by using it. By doing so, people could make the best of their power. That is why I agree with the idea. 自分の意見と反対の意見をつくるときに「自分の意見→反対の意見」としたため、若干の理由説明の弱さを自分で感じるのですがどうでしょうか。 また、a sense of humour を途中まで代名詞 it を用いてたのですが、少し a sense of humour の意の it を使わなくなったので 再びa sense of humour と書きました。 この場合は少し距離(?)があいていても it と表現しても問題ないのでしょうか? 回答よろしくお願いします。

  • 英作文の添削をお願いします。

    長文で堅苦しい内容になってしまいましたが、添削をお願いします(^-^) あと、これは大学入試用です。 TOPIC starting foreign language education at a very early age is a good idea. I'm for this opinion. There are TWO reasons.First of all,clearly,little children aged up to three can absorb a lot of information at a rate grown-ups cannot.Responsive to sound,they are very efficient learners of new language, so they will be able to acquire two languages such as Japanese and English with little difficulty.This will be a good advance, because they will have more time learning other important subjects,say math,science,histry,and so on. Second,learning foreign language does not only mean you are learning how to read and write,but it also means you are studying other culture.It must be great that you know several culture, because it means you can understand things at global point of view without predudice.Acquiring such perspective is indispensable for people of today.

  • 英作文(大学受験)の添削お願いします。

    英語が得意ではありませんが、出来る限りのことをやりつくしたいと思っています。 初歩的ミス、スペルミスなども多いかと思います。 些細なことでもお気づきの点はご指摘お願いいたします。 設問 「日本の小学生は英語の必履修が必要か」ついて賛成か反対か I agree with this idea. Firstly, children can learn everything instantly. This reason is that children have good memory faster than adults. When I was eight years old, I went to English school. I sung a lot of songs in English. Especially, it was the nicest time for me. Now, it has been ten years since then. But I remember these songs. So, it is easy to study English. Moreover, it only can be in childhood. Secondly, there is a global age now. They have many times to talk to foreigner in English. If do not speak English, they could not understand what happen in world, because English is international language. In addition, leaning language is that they can know many cultures. So, Japanese elementary student have to learn English for their future.

  • 英作文の添削出来る方お願いします。

    世の中からいい人と言われる人間になるのは簡単です。耳ざわりのいい言葉を操り、困窮した立場にある人間、いわゆる弱者と呼ばれる人々の側に立ってものを語ればいいんです。しかし、人から信頼される人になるという事は、一筋縄ではいきません。 It is easy to be said you are kind by other people.This is because, to be said so, all you have to do is using the word which do not irritate others and talking as if you were on behalf of poor people so to speak the weak. However, on the other hand, it is difficult to be believed by others. よろしくお願いします。

  • 自由英作文の添削をお願いします!

    自由英作文の添削をお願いします! 「小学校での英語教育」に賛成か反対かについて意見を100語程度でのべよ。 内容は、 賛成 →現在では外国人と話せるようになることが大事 →日本では英語で会話できない人が多い →状況を変えるために、早い時期から学習 →その理由は、子供は思考が柔軟で大人よりすぐ習得できるから →小学校での英語教育が最初のステップ という感じです。 稚拙な文章ですが、直すべきとこを指摘していただけるとうれしいです! (1)I am totally in favor of the idea of English education at elementary school. (2)This is the age of global communication and it is essential to master the English language as a helpful communication tool. (3)In Japan,however,there are many people cannot talk with people from abroad in English. (4)In order to change this situation,we should start English education from childhood. (5)This is because children can learn to do anything because they have a flexibility, while adults have the difficulty in acquiring new abilities. (6)English education at a elementary school will be the first step to have a good command of English and to understand foreign countries more profoundly. (111語)