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英語の添削をお願いします

A高校からB高校に転入して、B高校で自己紹介をするという設定なのですが、英文の添削をお願いします。 I lived in A until last month, and went to the A high school. But I will move in to B high school by the father's transfer. I want to become you happily early. Because I have a lot of things that do not become accustomed, I want you to teach. I belonged to the brass band at the previous school. Therefore, I like music very much. I want to enter the brass band also at this school. Because a lot of nature overflowed, the B high school thought that it was a very wonderful school. Life in this school of the future is the enjoyment. My best regards. 最初の部分は、「早く皆さんと仲良くなりたいです。慣れない事が多いと思うので、色々と教えてください」としたかったのですが、よく分かりませんでした。最後の部分は、「これからのこの学校生活が楽しみです。これから宜しくお願いします。」という文にしたかったのですがよく分かりませんでした。吹奏楽部はbrass band で良いのでしょうか。 宜しくお願いします。

  • 英語
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回答No.2

I lived in A until last month, and went to the A high school.→ I was living in "A" and going to "A" high school until last month. ＊先月まで住んでいたので、点過去にするよりも過去進行形で表すか、完了形を使った方がよろしいでしょう。 ＊high schoolの前にtheの冠詞は、学校の名前がもとからそうなっている以外、つける必要がありません。 But I will move in to B high school by the father's transfer.→ ＊先月までAに通っていて、これからBに通うのであれば、現在はどこにいることになってしまいますか？will は使わず、既にAからBへの移行が終わっているのでmovedの過去形にするか、「移りたて」ということで現在完了形を使うかにしましょう。 ＊byの代わりにbecause ofの方がよろしいかと思います。due toでもかまいませんが、口語ではbecause of の方が自然です。 I want to become you happily early.→ I want to make friends with you as soon as possible. Because I have a lot of things that do not become accustomed, I want you to teach.→ I appreciate if you give me some tips for living in this town (/school). あるいは I hope you wouldn't mind my asking you for some help when I have things that I am not accustomed here.あるいは、Please do not mind correcting me when I am doing something wrong, because that'll help me get to know things here. ＊Becauseは必要ありません。 ＊「いろいろ教えてください」というhumbleな表現は日本ではよく使われるので言葉に忠実に訳をしたい方は多いと思いますが、自己紹介の時点でたとえ断った（disclaim）としても、周りが親切から世話を焼いてくれる文化は英語圏にはないのでteach等を使って「いろいろ教えてください」を表現すると誤解を招くことにもなりかねませんので注意しましょう。 Life in this school of the future is the enjoyment. →　I'm looking forward to leading my school life here. My best regards. →　Nice to meet you all. ＊締めとしてmy best regardsを使うのは、手紙やカードの場合です。口語では「よろしくお願いします」は、nice to meet you, it's pleasure to meet youなどを用います。

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回答No.1

>I lived in A until last month, and went to the A high school. But I will move in to B high school by the father's transfer. 既に転校しているんだからwillは変だろう。 一応Butは取り払った。due toっていうかどうかは自信がない >I want to become you happily early. 私が貴方になるの！？ >Because I have a lot of things that do not become accustomed, >I want you to teach. 何かよくわからん。 teachっていうと教育のイメージが。 Therefore, I like music very much. I want to enter the brass band also at this school. 「ブラスバンドに居たから、音楽が好き」なんじゃないでしょ？ 「音楽が好き」とは関係なく「ブラスバンドにいた」か， 「音楽が好き」だから「ブラスバンドにいた」んでしょ >Because a lot of nature overflowed, the B high school thought that it was a very wonderful school. Life in this school of the future is the enjoyment. My best regards. overflowっていうとあふれているイメージ。「どこ見ても自然(all around)」「いたるところに自然(everywhere)」とかの方が 普通だと思うけどな・・・ =============== 俺が言うとこうなるかなあ・・・(識者待ちの方が吉。) I lived in A until last month, and went to the A high school. I moved to this school due to my father's transfer. I want to be friends with you all. I'm new to B, and will ask you to help me. Thanks to you in advance for your assistance. I like music very much and I was belonged to brass band club at the previous school. I am going to enter brass band club in this school again. A lot of nature all around, I think the B high school is very wonderful school. I cannot wait for my school life any more! Thank you for listening.

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  2. 学問・教育
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